Should parents pay for ALL of their child's education?

**homesteadmamma** · 02-19-2004, 01:33 PM

Especially once they are in college or university?

**sunshine** · 02-19-2004, 01:58 PM

I don't think parents have an obligation to pay for ALL of it. I think people appreciate their education when they have to work for it--- or at least part of it.

I have encouraged my children to apply for grants, scholarships, and so forth. . . . they are also working part time while attending school.

I pay for some of the costs-- and they can live at home rent/board free while attending college.

**canadian gardener** · 02-19-2004, 02:04 PM

sunshine says it for me too,

Some, not all. I think with the cost of education, working their way thru at near minimum wage, is impossible or next to it.

I don't agree with student loan debt if you can possibly avoid it, but I recognize it's a necessary evil nowadays for many. Dd may have to do that for the year after next if she goes on after her BSc.

I think parents if they can help should help SOME but the kids work harder if they are the ones paying for it. They are invested literally in their education.

The ones who have it all handed to them aren't so lucky.

**Guest1** · 02-19-2004, 02:13 PM

what they said....

**BlessedMommy** · 02-19-2004, 02:14 PM

I had to take out student loans for all 4 years of my college education and I don't regret it a bit. Once I gradutated and got a job it was just in our budget to pay it off (Dh and I married while in college) I also worked a LOT during high school and college (my parents really struggled to make ends meet when I was growing up), and that I do regret a bit more. My parents helped where they could, but most of the responsiblity was mine. I do hope that we will be able our kids more so that they will have more time to study, relax, etc. (I was always either studying or working while in college.)

**Katybird** · 02-19-2004, 02:41 PM

Originally posted by sunshine
I don't think parents have an obligation to pay for ALL of it. I think people appreciate their education when they have to work for it--- or at least part of it.

I completely agree.

**gkp1031** · 02-19-2004, 07:25 PM

I went to 4 years of college and I don't believe parents should pay for the entire expense. It taught me more responsibility since I had to budget and be frugal during college. I think parents should help if they can, but there are loans/grants/scholarships out there.

**guest2** · 02-19-2004, 07:32 PM

I too worked during high school and college, took out some loans and my parents helped me bit. It seemed to me that the kids who just had their educations handed to them did not appreciate it. If it is your money you are spending, you are more likely to work hard to make it count.

My kids will be working their way through and hopefully getting some scholarships. My husband and I have told them they can live here room and board free while they are in college and even for a few years before college if they bank most of the money they earn to pay for their college education. We will also help out as much as we can financially, but they (and we) know that we can't afford a whole lot.

**lucy979** · 02-20-2004, 12:24 AM

You all said it right.

**AmyMCGS** · 02-20-2004, 07:52 AM

Originally posted by hmsclmom
I too worked during high school and college, took out some loans and my parents helped me bit. It seemed to me that the kids who just had their educations handed to them did not appreciate it.

That's exactly how it was for me... I survived on student loans and minimum wage jobs. DH, too. When we got married we were something like $60,000 in debt between us from our student loans~ so we lived in a tiny apartment and worked our butts off to get that paid off. And we did pay it off in about five years. I wouldn't have it any other way~ we learned so much about budgeting, not to mention that we did appreciate the cost of our education a lot more.

**Jessie** · 02-20-2004, 09:12 AM

I think that parents should help if they are able to do so, but we always believed that we need to save for our retirement before taking out a mortgage on the house to put the kids through school. We would love to be able to pay all expenses for the kids to get through college, but as mentioned there a loans and grants available. Our way of thinking, which to some may seem selfish, but when we get older we can't take a loan to retire, so it's important for us to start putting something away for us, we will help our kids out, but not pay for everything. We have friends that put their son through five years of college and he never graduated, all he did was party and these friends now have a second mortgage on their home and they are in their 50's and their son is now a bagger at the grocery store, which there is nothing wrong with that, but after going to college for 5 years you would think he could get alittle higher paying job, he had no responsiblities so he didn't care. I think when you have to also contribute to your own education, it is taken more seriously.

**PrairieRose** · 02-20-2004, 09:46 AM

We have paid for our kids' tuition, fees, housing and meals. They have to earn all their own spending money and anything extra they want (like say, new clothes, music, entertainment.....). We have always kept them pretty strapped for money to keep them willing to work hard to have what they want. I feel badly for the young people who have to start out with so much debt, but if our dk's hadn't kept up their end of the deal (i.e. keeping good grades, behaving themselves at least to a point, being responsible in other areas) we would have stopped in a heartbeat. We've told our kids to consider their education(s) as their inheritence. The rest of what we make is ours to do with as we please!

And not to count on a cent when we're gone. We made our's, they can make their's. Our kids have turned out to be very responsible individuals who actually do contribute and are pretty darned happy---which makes us very happy. Since we have been able to do this (not without personal sacrifices ofcourse) I'm so happy that we did.

**AmyBoz** · 03-10-2004, 12:07 PM

If I can, I will. If I can't, I won't. I was lucky that my parents were in a position to pay for my college. Dh had to pay for his own. We both got good educations and I don't think either one of us got more or less out of college because of whether or not we had to pay for it. I doubt we'll be able to pay for all of either of our children's education, but I do know that we will want to help in some way. What that will be we don't know right now. Julia's only 3 and Patrick's only 3 weeks! We've got some time.

**baronmom** · 03-10-2004, 12:45 PM

I know that we will not be able to afford to pay the entire amount. I think that my boys will do better and be more responsible if they have to put forth a little extra effort to pay for their education. My oldest son wants to go to a Division 1 school. There is no way that we will have that kind of money, so I told him that he needs to keep his grades up and try to get grants and scholarship money to help. (He plays football). He doesn't have a problem with that.