The school is driving me crazy!!!

**kimmee** · 01-20-2005, 06:07 PM

I want to homeschool Damon so badly!! He leads the state of Colorado in 4th grade scores - he is top 2% of the nation. Today his teacher calls me and tells me she wants him to go see the special Educ teacher for being an underachiever and see the school Psych for Depression. He is NOT depressed - believe me I can recognize depression symptoms - I am actually keeping my eye on Ryan. I think Damon's teacher is feeling guilty for missing the boat so many times and my having to call her to the table on it. What I see with Damon is yes, underachieving but not because he has some developmental issue but because of a flat PITIFUL education. He needs attention and drill. He's bored. He reads at an 8th grade level and the books they have are on the 3rd grade level. He needs a challenge. He is so talented. He spends so much time waiting for the others in his class to catch up that he starts reading and his mind wanders. He has no interest in doing his paperwork - so he just sits and reads and nobody laid into him or informed me until it had become a chronic habit.

I am so frustrated. I am absolutely positive that Damon's teacher knows that school has done Damon a real dis- service and I couldn't figure out where the depression angle came from til at the end of her call she said she was back in school pursuing a Master's in Counseling. A-HA!! Any one who has ever been in the counseling profession (yes, me included) recognizes everyone as having problems and needs to diagnose and cure. He is her project. She told me that in her studies she keeps thinking about Damon. I would never sheild my kid from getting any help he needs but Spec Ed generates income for the school so it behooves them to get kids placed in the program - they are never seen as not needing spec ed. Do you have any idea how stigmatizing that would be to a little boy who is already having social issues??

I could just go down there and slap ALL of them at that school. And she (Damon's teacher) sounded so shady when she was telling me her clinical impression and she kept saying "how do I say this" "how do I word this". I said you know Mrs. D with me you just tell me what you are thinking and I will process it with you.... Oh well, I'm not sure you'll understand this...Oh how do I say this....

**Bessiemae** · 01-20-2005, 06:37 PM

It took us a long time to get 10yo Will into gifted programming. Sounds like Damon needs similar services. Teacher is simply in awe of your son, and feeling inadequate.

Hey, I'll trade you one Gifted with Dyslexia and Anxiety Disorder for one Gifted and Depressed? Oh! I also have a Gifted and Arrogant!!!

Seriously, I found that getting our pediatrician involved got them to back off.

**kimmee** · 01-20-2005, 06:43 PM

Thats the other clencher here - we have no gifted program and I won't let him be put up a grade because he is already a year younger (July Birthday). I think I will try the ped thing though - thank you for the suggestion. Where is the Western Reserve??

**wvmom4life** · 01-20-2005, 06:59 PM

This is just a suggestion but have you thought about having your child tested in order to for the school to provide the right education for him. When they find that he is gifted they have to provide him with the right classes and not the ones for him to be bored in. Once you put in writing that you want him tested they have 60 days to complete it and let you know how it comes out with recommendatons. If you are not satisified even then you can have have more done at their expense. You can request a meeting with all his teachers so that everything is on the table. I would be depressed if I had was bored all the time too.

**kimmee** · 01-20-2005, 07:13 PM

I am a little confused on this - he HAS been tested - he is designated Gifted but they do not offer a gifted program - it is a small rural school so they couldn't even offer me specialized learning strategies (AATP) that I could work with him on - according to them this is all that is available for us out here. I can't afford Private school and we have already tried Martial Arts - which was a bust and he starts golf (for my own assessment of his motor skills ) in March. I haven't even been able to get the school to have an OT look at his Motor skills to see if there is a delay (seen in his handwriting) I don't think he has a delay really - I think he is like me and will do better with Cursive but they no longer teach penmanship in school!!! They say we are all going towards computers (This is Colorado Educ Standards stating this!!!)

**mylittle4** · 01-20-2005, 07:34 PM

I have no experience for Colorado and a lot of education issues are decided on a state level, but what i have discovered is public schools will lie to you. I do not want to offend any of the teachers here and in my experience we were told things like the school didnt have the program were in fact they had to offer the program by law rather they had one in progress at the moment or not, and the teachers didnt even know a lot of this. Find out your state laws they may have no choice but to help him. Good Luck

**forestdale** · 01-20-2005, 08:10 PM

why don't you home school him?

**Early Bird** · 01-20-2005, 08:32 PM

You know, you could SUPPLEMENT at home.

**kimmee** · 01-20-2005, 09:08 PM

I can't homeschool because Bob won't allow it - I do supplement but it doesn't keep him on task with the stuff at school. He is still bored in class. He swallows up new concepts at home - for instance at home he has already done fractions and decimals - at school they are just starting fractions - he has to wait for the others before they move on as a group because they no longer permit self-pace in the public school here - from the act - NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. Which evidently equates to no child moves ahead. Bob has a valid point about the Homeschooling : he's afraid they won't learn to deal with life on life's terms - and I have worried about that. I may have somewhat alarmed him today when I told him about the increasing popularity of pot smoking in middle school (I am concerned about Ryan and peer pressure next year) but he managed to blame me for moving them out to the country where "there is nothing to do but smoke pot". I think even Bob, on reflection, will see what a stupid statement that was...

**guest2** · 01-20-2005, 09:09 PM

Kimmee,
I'm a former Special Education teacher and I can tell you what the school district I worked in did. We had a student, much like your Damon, who was gifted but was not doing his work in class. We tested him at the request of his mother and once that was done, we were required by law to provide him with a learning environment to meet his needs. What that ment was that he came down to my classroom and we worked on subjects at his ability level. He had been bored out of his skull because the work in his classrooms was not challenging to him. With me he got to work about 2 grade levels above his peers and enjoyed the freedom and challenge to actually learn something. We did not have a "gifted program" per say but we made darn sure we met this boy's academic and emotional needs. The reason he qualified to be with me is because his ability level and his current performance level were years apart due to his being bored.

**kimmee** · 01-20-2005, 09:19 PM

Debbie- thankyou. That sheds a whole new light. How old was this boy - was he stigmatized in any way that YOU know of?? Damon struggles in social situations - I don't want to hand him another "handicap".

**guest2** · 01-20-2005, 09:22 PM

The boys was in 5th grade when I arrived on the scene.

He already was considered "odd" by the other kids because he was so bright but his own self esteem rose when he was allowed to do the work that he knew he was capable of and had someone there cheering him on! He and I did talk about ways to interact with the other kids that would help him socially and as the year went on, he was accepted more and more by his peers.

**kimmee** · 01-20-2005, 09:27 PM

and I truly think that Damon "dummy's down" so as not o be thought of as odd - but he kind of is anyway - he is like the 4th grade equivalent of a nerd or a Trekkie. What did this boy do in Middle School - do you know?? Its such a hurtful time. Aimee gets by cuz they have advanced level classes and AELP's.

**forestdale** · 01-20-2005, 09:46 PM

kimmee, you have to fight for what you believe your kids need. If you want to home school, do it, you have custody so you must be able to make those judgements.

Public school education is about making everyone equal. That means they try to integrate under achievers and they try to put a lid on the over achievers. YOU must make sure his lid is not put on. You obviously have valid concerns for his education. If you are sure he will benefit from home schooling, I urge you to do it.

**mylittle4** · 01-20-2005, 10:43 PM

Kimmee I have 2 children in special needs classes. They are not made fun off about it at all. It does not bother them to leave the room for a special class. In fact Logan who is in the 1st grade does a reading class and speech therapy. They are little social butterflies so I think that helps. You should also probably check to see if the school is responsible for busing him to another district if they cant meet his needs. My oldest is also gifted and I sympathise with that ACT.