Homeschooling on student loans?(LONG)

**hollyhill** · 09-30-2005, 02:51 PM

I know everyone on this forum who are homeschooling are on a stringent budget (most homeschoolers are because they are almost always one income) but are any of you homeschooling with severely restricted incomes?
I have a 14 yr.old, 11 yr, old and an 8n yr.old and they have always been homeschooled. My husband lost his job in Feb.2004 and was unable to find any work in this part of Canada in his field. He decided to retrain so that it would expand the job possibilities. So we have been living on student loans for over a year now (we hope he will be finished next Dec. 2006). The first year we managed OK we had many things and stockpiles to fall back on, but as time continues it is getting more and more difficult. We both worked through the summer but that only helped to get our head alittle above water and now we are back under. The student loans came through. But after paying off tuition, bills and credit card debt we are left with alittle over $3000 to last us until Jan. 15 when the next student loan installment comes through. We also get the child tax credit every month which is not as big as it could be because we cashed in our RRSP's last year while Dh was unemployed.

Yes, I have been using every frugal trick in the book but I am beginning to feel like I am suffacating from anxiety.
My MiL who could help us won't because she has been Anti homeschooling all along (even though she admits my kids are great and talented) because we are the only grandchildren who are doing it so she can't possibly divide her loyalties (can you tell I am bitter). Mil feels I should put the children in school so I could go to work and support the family.
Financially things have been so difficult I wonder if she is right? But the children don't want to go to school and they are doing so well. Also, my Dh studies are so stressful with long hours that I can't count on him to pick up and drive my children anywhere.
I am worried about Thanksgiving and Christmas, my children need boots and coats ( I have picked up some used). I have explained to others that we can't afford many things that we are asked to participate in and we get that "Well we can't afford it either but we make it do look" but our unable to make do is at a whole different level from theirs that they can't even comprehend it.
So are there any homeschoolers here with severe financial circumstances?
I will appreciate any additional advice anyone has that might help.
Should I put the children in school for a year. If not, do youhave any advice in reducing my financial stress/worries?

**canadian gardener** · 09-30-2005, 03:37 PM

I was pres of a large homeschool group and yes there were people (Canadians) doing similar things, in similar financial straits.

the answers aren't easy. I'd say your mil's attitude has you painted into a corner where it's hard to consider your options. Sometimes as homeschoolers we get into a head space (do I sound like the aging hippy I am at heart or what?) where it looks black or white, either or.

Her financial support might come with some big strings if it came at all, and it's her money to spend as she pleases just as it's your choice to homeschool as you please.

Lets leave her right out, and anyone else you are used to countering opposition from.

If you did school for a year what's the worst that could happen?

We had some mums choose to go to work for a year or two then go back to homeschooling when they were over the hump, others plowed thru and kept homeschooling.

The kids turned out fine in both circumstances. Breathe easier, you can do it either way without harming the kids.

I did public school for the first few grades, then we moved, and in gr 2 and 4 respectively my two went into Catholic private school, then in Gr 7 and 9 I took them home to homeschool.

Although I preferred the homeschooling the best, the schools were by and large pretty good, and if I was in your shoes, I'd be considering which ones would be the best fit.

Transitioning children in and out of school can be stressful on mum and kids but a school that has a supportive attitude towards homeschoolers makes it easy.

Are you part of a supportive HS group? I ask that because if they are comfy with people coming and going in and out and back into homeschooling they can provide support. Some groups make you feel llike you are letting down the army and caving in to the enemy, while others try to help.

Avoiding that black and white either or type thinking is important no matter what you choose. In homeschool circles it's easy to demonize the other choices as terrible and bad in order to help "sell" our choice to negative family and friends. We almost bend over backwards to create emotional distance from school. The kids pick up on that and can be frightened by the thought of school, as we can too. The reality is often much less scary.

OK if you aren't in a supportive group, here is what you need to know to make it easy.

Get your kids used to a schedule, maybe ask for them to shadow a classmate for a few days. MAKE SURE THEY KNOW where the bathrooms are, and how to ask to leave.

Normal homeschool kids aren't used to asking for these things and it can create unnecessary conflict with the new teacher not to mention embarrassing moments.

They should understand schedules for stuff, being told they can't read when they like, and paying attention and not talking when the teacher is teaching.

Things like science, you start telling them they are doing science. I remember one dear gal who did science in an unschool format, her dd loved "playing" with mum, and when she went to school they asked her if she'd ever done science. She said no, and they proceeded to judge the mum, and take credit for how well the girl did.

If they'd asked what she played at, the answer--- if they had the ability to see it --would have shown a very science oriented homeschool environment.

Her dd's good marks began to slip by the end of the year as the homeschool advantage wore off and she picked up bad habits from classmates (the peer pressure is anti work, anti school) and mum took her back home to school the next year.

She was fine and happy from that point on, and her mother reworked from scratch basically counting that year as a loss as she got her back into homeschooling habits again.

Not all schools are that bad. Most that dealt with homeschoolers were pretty good and very accomodating but you need to avoid the public school do or die types who will be very hostile to any homeschooler and looking for ways to prove them "bad parents' and 'bad teachers".

I've run into some of them. They are just as fear filled as some homeschoolers and they are unfortunately in a position to do more damage with their demonized view.

So if you get that vibe from any principal or teacher that you interview, smile sweetly and steer clear of THAT school.

**canadian gardener** · 09-30-2005, 03:41 PM

Oh and by talking about putting them in, I don't mean to presume that this is the choice you will make as both choices are equally valid in my opinion,

just wanted to share some stuff that worked for some friends in similar situations.

**QuilterMom** · 09-30-2005, 03:59 PM

Originally posted by hollyhill
Also, my Dh studies are so stressful with long hours that I can't count on him to pick up and drive my children anywhere.

I don't have time for a long reply right now, but this really jumped out at me. This is one of many reasons I became a SAHM (before I was even a mom!). My dh's hours can be long an unpredictable due to his field of work. My field of work would have required long hours of me at various times and we knew that would leave us in a huge mess when we had a child. This, to me, seems to be one of many things you need to weigh heavily. What would your work hours be? With the holidays approaching would your field of work require even longer than normal hours? Would you be able to find something with flexible hours? Could you work part-time (assuming you could trust your kids to be at home alone for those few short hours each day)? - I've read of many homeschool families with older kids doing that.

As far as mil goes, I'd leave her even out of consideration because as Margery said, any help would probably come with strings attached.

**canadian gardener** · 09-30-2005, 04:32 PM

QM opens up a line of thought. I know I'd have been able to keep working with homeschooling if I'd had scheduled shifts that I could work around instead of on call, and if I'd not been giving too much time to volunteer stuff at our former church which demanded an unusually high rate of involvement in time and money.

Live and learn.

However if you could say work a shift when dh is reliably home, and set some assignments, you could do the homeschooling in your time off/days off.

As an RN if I'd been able to at least schedule my work and know that next friday I can take the kids to the museum, I don't have to hang loose waiting on a call

I'd probably still have my license to practise which I let lapse when I couldn't manage work and homeschooling.

**homesteadmamma** · 09-30-2005, 04:40 PM

We are on a fixed income, just over $15,000 per year. I could go to work full time, however I choose not to. My kid's schooling and the time I have with them is too important to me and to our family.

What I have done though is find a part time job cleaning the post office when dh is home. With this job, I can clean it anytime after 5 p.m. and at my own leisure. It has helped tremendously in the finances and has kept me home. The pay isn't great, however it helps.

Personally I wouldn't even consider what your mil says. That may sound harsh, however she is making you thi nk what your doing is wrong. It isn't. What your doing is giving your kids a great education, one that you have found fits your family. You also said your kids don't want to go to school. That speaks volumes.

**homesteadmamma** · 09-30-2005, 04:50 PM

Check your pm box okay.

btw - I also agree with Kim in that any help from mil would probably come with strings attached. Also once those kids are in school, I'm sure the pressure would be put on you to keep them there.

**hollyhill** · 09-30-2005, 05:53 PM

I left out that I do work on a part time basis. I have several clients that I do gardening for. They are elderly and in their own homes but are unable to do all the garden upkeep anymore. It was pretty well full time in summer (perfect for me) and is now only a few hours here and there. In the winter it will be snow removal (if we get snow). This work is perfect because it is flexible (even in the summer) and I feel I am really helping these dears stay in their homes. But it pays very little.
What I have been told by unsupportive family (who are around me all the time, is to get a real full time job). Normally I can resist their comments with out batting an eyelash but right now with us having trouble with everything it is beginning to eat away at me.
My children are not school phobic. They are very well adjusted and doing very well in all ways. We just don't want to tamper with that.
Our public schools are not homeschool friendly. But we have several small private schools that are but they have tuition fees which would defeat the whole purpose.
Your right though I just need to get away from the critics and find support.
My HS group hasn't helped much because they can not fathom our circumstances. One family was upset that scouts gave our children free registration. She said it wasn't right because they don't have alot of money either (her husband does work) so they should get free registration too. I pointed out my children would no longer be involved if it wasn't for the fee deferral (besides she always seems to have enough for a cup of Tim Hortons in her hand).
Thats why I thought I would come here. You all know what it means to live frugally and with less. We are all on the same wavelength as far as frugality is concerned.
Thank-you for taking the time to answer and give me your ideas and suggestions. I really appreciate it.

**homesteadmamma** · 09-30-2005, 06:01 PM

Check your pm box again.

I try to ignore people who are rude or don't understand other people's financial situation. They are a dime a dozen and can really make life miserable if you allow them too.

You know in your heart your doing the right thing. I would try to find a support group that would encourage you and be helpful (if that's possible). Sometimes it just takes a little bit of looking, however it really does pay off in the end.

Were glad you could come here and share your heart. I hope we've helped in someway to make it better for you.

**Valerie in WA** · 09-30-2005, 06:16 PM

When facing trouble, one of the best things I do is 'think outside the box.' If I were you, I'd get the family together and brainstorm ways to save money and ways to earn money. Your children are old enough to find some ways to earn money, and they won't die if they have to turn 50% or even 100% over to you. Maybe you could pick up a few more hours, maybe your dh could deliver pizzas one night a week. Every little bit helps. But remember the 80/20 principle (it's Margery's right?). You get 80% of the benefit from 20% of the effort. In other words, plug the big holes before the small ones.

I am unclear if you are asking for general how-to-manage-on-one-income-so-I-can-homeschool advice or if you are asking how-to-homeschool-on-no-money. If it's the latter, I have many suggestions. It does not need to cost much money to hs your kids. Let me know; I'll be following this thread. Oh, and I work 18hrs a week and still homeschool.

**hollyhill** · 09-30-2005, 07:04 PM

Valerie, i am looking for all advice. Anything that would help, in anyway.
My children do help me with my Gardening jobs. They are a great help! My Dd works at stables but they don't pay cash she gets credits twords riding and lessons. We live in a very rural (wild) area so there are not many jobs close by (certainly not newspaper delivery or pizza delivery we can't even get delivery out here,) we have to drive 30 min. to town. Dh has to sleep on couches in the Student Center at school if we get too much snow because he can't get home (he keeps a pillow and blanket in his locker just in case LOL). We certainly take every parttime opportunity that presents itself. Such as exchange students that occaisionly want a rural experience etc. I am very wary of work at home things though, I've seen too many people get burned by them over the years.

**Valerie in WA** · 10-01-2005, 01:22 AM

Well, Holly, it's sounds like you're doing a lot of things right! I hopped over to the "Frugal challenge" in the Homespun area and looked at your posts. It sounds like you have a good handle on your expenses. You know: there's frugal (going to the matinee) and there's FRUGAL (make a meal out of chicken bones, flour and some soft vegetables). Far as I can tell - from this small slice of you're life - you're FRUGAL.

I think what you really need is encouragement. ((Holly)) Things have been tight and tough and you're tired. But you're doing it. Despite all the negative comments around you; you ARE doing it! You've gotten this far; you can make it. Are you a Christian? If so, you've probably already cried out your concerns to your Father. If not, you might try it; He's an excellent listener.

Do you have curriculum for the children to last for a while? If not, tell me in general terms what style of homeschooling you enjoy, and I'll brainstorm some ideas with you.

**canadian gardener** · 10-01-2005, 01:43 AM

I second that! the hugs and the support.

**forestdale** · 10-01-2005, 02:21 AM

Holly, I've never homeschooled but I have lived in very remote locations with my family and I've been in situations where I needed emotional support and I didn't get it from those people I expected it from.

I just wanted to tell you that from what I've seen of your posts you're on the right track. Let your MIL moan about your kids not being in a "proper" school. YOU know they are getting the best education, so what she thinks is irrelevant.

You must live fairly close to a town if you've been doing the gardening work. Are you able to clean, cook or sew for anyone in the town? Are you able to look after animals while people are away? Can you tutor kids from the local school? If you're home schooling, I have no doubt you'd be able to do some tutoring after school. Is your husband able to do labouring work one day a week or on weekends?

I hope you can get some casual work to suppliment your income. In the meantime though, continue your homeschooling routine and know that you're doing the best for your children.

I send big

from a wide brown land.

**hollyhill** · 10-01-2005, 03:43 AM

Thank you Valerie for your encouraging post. It reminded me how I am also part of our Heavenly father"s family and even when our earthly family isn't coming through we can count on our father and brothers and sisters around the world for some loving kindness.

I am about 30 min. from town and about 15 min from a small grocery store (the nearest milk).

I have done tutoring (ESL) and do it when ever the opportunity arises but it has been sporadic.
Dh is in an engineering technology program and this term is very hard. Last year (this term) out of 32 students only 6 managed to pass without failing something. If you fail something you can't take certain classes next term etc. Which means you are in for an extra YEAR! We can not afford that. So Dh and I agreed that he should not work part time this term to maximize his study time.

For homeschooling I have not purchased any curriculum since 2003. Initially, it wasn't a problem because we made use of books we already had, the library and the internet. But I am feeling we are Getting "behind" esp. for my 14 yr. old. I don't have an algebra program for her. We were using Bob Jones math but the last one I purchased was Gr.7 , I was able to borrow a gr.8 text, but have been unable to borrow anything for Gr.9. She also would love to do more "guided literature" studies.
We were able to borrow Konos World History 1 from one of her friends last year and she would love to start Konos World history 2 if we could find it for her. These resources meet her needs to be increasingly independent and to work on her own. I can not use the internet as much now because we have cut back to a $10 per month dial up, which allows 15 hours of internet time. Which is fine because we couldn't afford the ink cartridges for the printer anymore!!!!!
For my younger children (11 and 8) I use a Charlotte Mason approach. Lots of great books with short periods of academics.
They have Math books (their older Sisters!) but no consumables and no writing programs. We have been doing lots of copy work and making binder books.
The Library has been an invaluable resource but I admit that I could use new ideas. Everything feels so stale. Before I would regularily spice up our learning with a new (often new to us) purchase of a book, novel or workbook. But I have not been able to do that for what seems like such along time.
But the good thing about it is the children are now VERY excited when someone gives them a book.

well they always enjoyed recieving them but now they are THRILLED LOL.