What would you do?

[Mom23boys]

Dakota started crying last night and said he didn't want to go to school anymore. He said he has no friends, but I know he does. I started saying, "What about ??". He would say, well, yeah. He isn't a very outgoing child, but does have a few friends.

He has started struggling with school. He has always been an A honor roll student until this six weeks. One grade has dropped. He said that the teacher won't let him ask questions. She doesn't let anyone according to him. Chris would agree with him. He is frustrated with his school work.

He said he wants to be homeschooled because he would learn more, could ask questions, and not be picked on. It breaks my heart. I never knew he felt that way. He always seemed to be doing fine. He is involved in UIL competitions through school.

What would you do?

[SHOPGIRL]

So, is he in 6th grade? I'd call the teacher and relay the info to her and see what she thinks. He might just be going through a rough time. This is such a tramatic period for most kids. He may feel like he isn't fitting in. Someone may be giving him a hard time at school, and the thought of staying home appeals to him. I'd suggest digging further. I bet there is more to the story than he is telling you. As a teacher, I'd want to know if a kid thinks I won't let them ask questions.

[inneedofhope]

I agree, you really need to include the teacher in your problem solving. Another thing to keep in mind is his age... he is probably having hormonal rushes. We tend to think of girls as going through the emotional puberty stages, but boys go through it, too. It's good that he can talk to you about his feelings.

[Michelle]

Originally posted by SHOPGIRL
So, is he in 6th grade? I'd call the teacher and relay the info to her and see what she thinks. He might just be going through a rough time. This is such a tramatic period for most kids. He may feel like he isn't fitting in. Someone may be giving him a hard time at school, and the thought of staying home appeals to him. I'd suggest digging further. I bet there is more to the story than he is telling you. As a teacher, I'd want to know if a kid thinks I won't let them ask questions.

Gosh, it would break my heart too, Michelle

I agree with Shannon & inneedofhope. Dig a little further. I've found with my girls that they tend to exaggerate/embellish a little about things like this to gain my utmost sympathy

Also true about the hormonal thing. Did either of your other boys go through something similar? Especially at this age? Maybe you could ask them to talk to him as big brothers...sometimes kids will open up to their siblings more than they would their parents.

Did you have parent/teacher conferences this year? We are doing them this week, and that sounds like a perfect time to talk to his teacher about what is going on.

I hope you get it sorted out soon.

PS what are UIL competitions?

[Early Bird]

Do you get involved helping him with his homework? That could give you a chance to explain the material he's struggling with.

[homesteadmamma]

Michelle, you know what my answer would be - homeschool him for the remainder of the school year. Help build up his confidence and work at bringing up his marks. He may just need some extra time at home with you. Boys are so different from girls in their maturity level.

I think it's wonderful (although painful) that he knows he can come to you and share how he is feeling. Many boys his age would clam up and say nothing.

Even if you choose not to homeschool, this gives you an opportunity to talk it over with his teacher, along with talking it through with him. That might be all that needs to be done. Don't rush making your decision though because the decision you make will make a difference throughout the remaining part of the year.

[Mom23boys]

Thanks for all the advice. I am glad he is able to come to me and talk about his problems.

Here is more info about the UIL:
http://www.uil.utexas.edu/academics/...igh/index.html

Also, he is in the 5th grade.

[forestdale]

It sounds to me like something has happened. It might not even be a school room thing. It may be related to outside the class. Tell Dakota that you're worried and ask if anything has happened that he hasn't yet talked about. Tell him you're going to talk to the teacher so you want to know everything before you go.

Michelle, do you work at that school? If so, you must know his teacher so you could tell her/him what Dakota has said and see was comes out of that.

[Missy]

I agree with all the suggestions really. I'd find out from his teacher, see what his brothers could find out, etc. And if i saw that it would be beneficial, I'd probably find out more about the homeschool options in your state. I know it hurts your mommy heart to see one of your babies, regardless of age, struggle. Is it just one class? Or is it more? I desperately wanted to be homeschooled as a teen, and i do still think I would have been better off had I been. But that's my opinion about myself. Hugs, i know it can't be an easy time, know that I will be thinking about you!

[QuilterMom]

Originally posted by homesteadmamma
Michelle, you know what my answer would be - homeschool him for the remainder of the school year. Help build up his confidence and work at bringing up his marks. He may just need some extra time at home with you. Boys are so different from girls in their maturity level.

I think it's wonderful (although painful) that he knows he can come to you and share how he is feeling. Many boys his age would clam up and say nothing.

Even if you choose not to homeschool, this gives you an opportunity to talk it over with his teacher, along with talking it through with him. That might be all that needs to be done. Don't rush making your decision though because the decision you make will make a difference throughout the remaining part of the year.

You state is one of the absolute easiest for homeschooling.

[AmyBoz]

I would definitely contact the teacher. I agree that something is going on and it may or may not be classroom/educationally related.

[Katybird]

Michelle, I can't offer any advice that has not already been given but wanted to let you know that Dakota is in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that things are better for him soon.