Dh needs more than luck he needs your

**hollyhill** · 11-22-2005, 01:24 AM

prayers.
He failed a second midterm in another course. This one was 48%. I am trying to stay calm for his sake. His overall average is still a pass in both courses so all is not lost yet. His other courses range from 75% to 90% so there are no worries there. The profs in these two courses pride themselves with how hard their courses are

. And there is no reasoning with them. To give you an example Dh went to get help from one of them with a question he couldn't solve. The prof said that ones easy you can do it. And didn't help him!

Makes me wonder if he knows how to solve the question at all!!!!

Dh has three more weeks of classes including this week. Then one week of finals! He needs your prayers that his studying will be efficient and fruitful. And that he remains calm.

I don't even want to think what would happen if he failed even one course! Then there would be three he couldn't take next semester because they are prerequisites!
I think I mentioned it allready but in this course only 4 students on average out of 32 pass all the courses and graduate first time through!!!!!! All the rest have to repeat at least one course! Those are awful odds. Dh is very smart and so I just presumed he would be one of the 4.

If he fails something it means he doesn't graduate and he needs to do an additional year

. I know I shouldn't imagine the worst. But I am just freaking out right now. I don't want to show Dh how woried I am because it will just make his job (to pass) that much harder!
We are running out of money! Christmas is going to be so stressful as I worry about paying the bills and never mind having to worry about the exams and then having to wait for the RESULTS!!!!!
The children wanted to know why Dh was so tired. He came home and just went to bed (it was 7:30). He had been getting so little sleep trying to finish labs and assignments and then to get these marks back today, well it just knocked him out. well the children noticed of course and I can tell they are worried, too.
So tomorrow I will be encouraging and tell Dh to just try and hope for the best. I will assure him that we will make it even if the worst happens. Now I need to believe it! I will also assure the children that everything is fine and daddy just needed to catch up on his sleep.
Sorry for the vent but I am so worried....

Oh, my what am I going to do!!!!

**YankeeMom** · 11-22-2005, 08:18 AM

Does the college offer a learning center? I know at my college, they offered peer tutoring for free. A student having trouble in any class could go to the learning center & request a tutor and they would assign a tutor from his class. Or he could just walk in and get help with a single problem. That might be something worth looking into.

**Darlene** · 11-22-2005, 09:26 AM

Wishing your hubby good luck and sending you a hug.

**hollyhill** · 11-22-2005, 11:22 AM

Yankee mom, he is at a Technology school and there is no one"higher" than him but Profs. and Lab, assistants. He is in the final year of these courses.
Last year I encourged him to get a tutor from the student center for physics. He was having problems in one area of physics and the prof. was a real ditz. Well you would think physics was really straight forward and the tutor had a degree in physics. But the physics my Dh was learning was so specialized, the tutor said he would have to take the course to help him

.
Dh has friends in the same general profession, they can't help him!!!!!
The majority of the students are confused and the few that understand it all (because they've taken it before

) aren't sharing much of their understanding.

**Minner77** · 11-22-2005, 11:50 AM

Oh, hollyhill --

This is just obscene! Your DH is paying good money and working incredibly hard and deserves to be heard at much higher levels. Students forget that they're the paying customers and have many rights.

The professors and lab assistants aren't the highest authorites. Find the deans, find the chairs, find the regents. That so many students are failing course after course is a measure of their failure as academics, and they need to be made accountable. And their arrogance needs to be reigned in.

I'm working now on a Master's in Adult Ed, and one of the biggest themes is that adults are adults, not children, and MUST be treated as such. To expect him to lie down and take the profs' abuse, costing him more time, tuition, and personal agony is wrong. Please encourage him to speak up to the profs ' supervisors, going armed with facts and mentioning that personal retribution will not be tolerated.

I will be praying for your whole family.
Blessings,
Mary

**hollyhill** · 11-22-2005, 12:07 PM

Thank-you Mary
My Dh is Set rep. Student rep for his group (there are 2 sets). One of the students has initiated a complaint against one of the profs. So Dh is holding a vote today and assembling their typed concerns to deliver it to the Dean.
He is being warned by those that have been there it won't do any good and might backfire.
So Dh has been very carefully to go through the process without being the initiator just the messenger.

Mary I don't understand it either. I went to university and it was nothing like this. But this technology institute prides it self in how HARD it is because a degree from them is really WORTH something. KWIM? They seem to squish 3-4 years of engineering into 2 years and it just isn't possible to learn it all.
Then you get someone like my Dh who is intelligent, hardworking, a perfectionist and who WANTS to learn the material and is very interested in it all but still has a problems with the volumes and difficulty of the material. Then throw in a couple of lousy teachers to boot.
I know Dh is paying but there is a waiting list to get into this program and if he isn't willing to pay someone else will. So that doesn't hold much weight.
But what gets me is if he were to fail a single course by a % it will cause such Chaos for our lives. That is obscene. It will not just effect him but our entire family. That is the biggest difference between a young single student and a returning older student.
What we need now is a Miracle.
Thanks for praying.

**babymav** · 11-22-2005, 01:12 PM

I would complain if I were your husband. If he asked for help and was denied, that goes against the rules. Complain to the dean, or who ever will listen. That's just crazy. Sending your hubby good luck vibes. I am going through the same thing. I have about three weeks left too and it seems that these are the most stressful. Tell him to hang in there and think positive thoughts. I know easier said than done.

**forestdale** · 11-22-2005, 05:49 PM

I'd also talk to the dean. I think it's more an indication of bad teaching practises than students' poor performance to have so many fail.
I'm sending hugs and good thoughts.

**hollyhill** · 11-23-2005, 12:38 AM

Thank you everyone! Dh day went better today. Another exam that he felt he had done poorly on was returned & he had 73 %. Also, 10 students went with Dh to talk to the Dean today. But the dean ( a very popular man) is ill and is expected to be away for the rest of the week. When Dh mentioned it to another prof., that man looked stricken. It made Dh worry that something maybe seriously wrong with the Dean. Dh asked me to pray for him

. I hope he is all right. So the cous will need to wait a week.
Just keep Dh and his fellow students in your thoughts and prayers the next 4 weeks. They will all need it.
Dh is also worried about another student who has been sick alot. Dh said he is survivng on $10 a week for food. So I have been baking all day. And tomorrow Dh will take pumpkin bread, banana bread, oatmeal cookies, oatmeal bread and blueberry muffins to school for him. I made everything with my freshly ground flour so it will be very nourishing. I hope it will help. If he likes it I will send some every week.

**Mom23boys** · 11-23-2005, 10:28 AM

That is very thoughtful of you to bake for another student. Sounds like he is also barely getting by.

I will be praying for your DH.

**Katybird** · 11-23-2005, 01:10 PM

Holly, I will be praying for your husband and for his friend and for the dean. I hope that they can get some justice done for the poor teaching practices of his instructor. It is not right that he is allowed to treat his students in that manner.

to you and your family. Hang in there, better days are coming.

**Minner77** · 11-23-2005, 09:45 PM

Originally posted by hollyhill
[
Dh is also worried about another student who has been sick alot. Dh said he is survivng on $10 a week for food. So I have been baking all day. And tomorrow Dh will take pumpkin bread, banana bread, oatmeal cookies, oatmeal bread and blueberry muffins to school for him. I made everything with my freshly ground flour so it will be very nourishing. I hope it will help. If he likes it I will send some every week. [/B]

God bless you all for your kindness and compassion in the midst of your own struggles. I cannot begin to imagine $10 a week for food! I blow that in coffee in a week! I am blessed beyond measure. Thank you for the reminder.

I will add your DH's classmates, professor -- and especially this hungry student -- to my prayers.

Prayers and blessings,
Mary