Grrrrrr! People who brag!

**Early Bird** · 12-09-2005, 01:47 PM

NOTE: We homeschool . And my kids have their strengths. And their weaknesses. But I hope we're not overtly obnoxious about it!

I wanted to talk about a homeschooled kid we know -- Fred. He's 9 years old. His parents challenge him in his academic work -- and he is learning a lot.

His parents think the sun shines out of his ---- correction: His parents ADORE and brag about him.

We drove him to an activity this past week. Here's what his conversation was like, "I don't understand why they put ages on Legos; I've been doing Age 8-12 legos for years now."

Me, "Well, maybe they put ages because those are the ages that find it most appealing."

Fred, "They do it with readers too. I'm reading King Arthur. That's supposed to be a book for much older people, but I'm reading it."

(You have no idea how SMUG he sounded. And since my DD has been a struggling reader until recently, I did NOT like his bragging on that topic.)

***********************

Now, he is smart. King Arthur is difficult reading. But he's an insufferable little snot, isn't he? It's bad enough when the parents brag. Hearing this kid boast about how smart he is --- grrrrr.

It just occured to me! If he were a character in the Narnia books, he'd be Eustace Scrubb.

(Voyage of the Dawn Treader -- in my opinion, the best of the Narnia series!)

And since Eustace was redeemed in the end, maybe there's hope.

But I'm finding less-and-less desire to do activities with that family.

**Valerie in WA** · 12-09-2005, 02:02 PM

That is quite rude. My dd is academically advanced, and I've already been talking to her about being polite. A nine year old is old enough to be taught better. I wonder if he feels insecure in other ways...

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 12-09-2005, 02:39 PM

sounds to me like he is a little snot...but his parents are the ones who made him that way...thats sad

**AmyMCGS** · 12-09-2005, 02:43 PM

The poor kid has no idea he's bragging if that's how his parents always talk. They really need to teach him the skill of being tactful and not bragging.

**pammy** · 12-09-2005, 03:10 PM

Do I have kids? Yes, one. Do I think she's pretty darn great? You betcha! Do I need to go around telling the whole world how great she is? No. Everyone thinks their kids are great. Tell them, not everyone else, gees!

It does make you wonder at the ones who have to try to convince everyone else how great they think their kids are, though. I can't hardly stand to be around people like that. 'my kids this... my kids that... ', you'd think no one had kids before. The kids pick it up, unfortunately, making them braggerts.

**hollyhill** · 12-09-2005, 03:14 PM

LOL,
My eldest is academically gifted as well and all my children excel in certain areas but part of maturing and learning includes emotional development and social skills. From day one I taught them that their gifts were from God and they were to be used to His Glory. They have always been very humble about their acheivements (Not me hoever LOL But I talk about them behind their backs ,). We have talked about appropriate character, being a good loser , a good WINNER, building up others, how to correct someone gently etc... And when others have failed to exhibit that kind of behaviour, my children are quick to notice the effect. This type of instruction is as important as any academics!

But we have all met parents like this and I think some homeschoolers are especially bad ( I think they try to overcompensate for their insecurities by over emphasizing their childrens acheivements). We had one family in our scouting group last year that were well over the top. Their son was 5 (they had two younger ones) and they just kept telling him how bright, gifted, precocious he was ( they over did the positive self esteem thing !!!!)so that he would go around telling EVERYONE this. You know he was just parroting everything his parents said. He would go up to the other beavers and say to them "I am smarter than all of you put together!" And things like that LOL. Well the others would just look at him and you know what they are thinking but they are to polite to say anything. Well yes the little fellow had the gift of the gab (so does my Ds) but so what.

I felt kind of sorry for him cause he had NO friends. Other than his amazing vocabulary he was quite a little brute and very rough and no one wanted to be around him because he would impulsively hit children etc. This drove my youngest around the bend because I think he ADORED my Dd and would follow her everywhere "trying" to play with her but usually hurting her.
We discussed his behaviour with his parents but they said he was " VERY ADVANCED" and acting out was typical of these special children.

Thank-fully they didn't return this year (he is in Circus school, they drive 1 hour each way for that),
His father wanted his 5 year old to join in on ALL the scout activities (back packing, canoe trips) because he argued that as homeschoolers there should be no age barriers

. Well there is no way he could keep up to the scouts!!!
Well I guess unreasonable parents = unreasonable kids. !

Sorry about the long post but you hit a "nerve"......

**Early Bird** · 12-09-2005, 04:00 PM

Originally posted by hollyhill
LOL,
part of maturing and learning includes emotional development and social skills. From day one I taught them that their gifts were from God and they were to be used to His Glory. .

Thank you! I needed those perspectives.

Lately, my youngest has been asking, "Am I smart kid?" I generally give her an enthusiastic, "Yes!" But now I'm wondering:

* Is listening to Fred making her feel inferior?

I need to reinforce that thought: God has given us ALL gifts.

**Early Bird** · 12-09-2005, 04:05 PM

Originally posted by pammyboat
Everyone thinks their kids are great. Tell them, not everyone else, gees!

Yes! Tell your kids you think they're great.
* That helps them know they're terrific in your eyes.

Tell Susie's parents the smart/cute/funny things that SUZIE does!
* That lets Suzie's parents know that you appreciate Suzie.

Don't brag to Suzie's parents about how smart YOUR kids are!

WHY are there so many braggarts around?

I have one friend who tells me her kids' FAILURES AND SUCCESSES. And I never feel like she's bragging -- very likely because she lets me know about the disappointments too.

But she's rare. Most parents can't hold it in.

**kaykwilts** · 12-09-2005, 11:39 PM

I know a set of parents just like the ones you described. When this lady's daughter was in elementary school she bragged that she tested on a college level. Everything her kids do is perfect.