Do you take time to rest?

**forHISglory** · 05-07-2008, 10:30 PM

Do any of you have trouble finding time to rest?

Our women's Bible study tonight was on resting. It covered resting in a spiritual sense, as well as resting physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I really struggled with this particular topic because I find it hard to rest. Even if I make my body sit or lie down, my mind keeps racing, and guilt kicks in. If I open my eyes, I see things to do, to dust, to sweep, to organize, to put away, to wash......

I set goals for myself all the time, and never reach them, but not for want of trying. Hubby will tell me to just sit down and rest a little, but I never feel rested if there is work waiting to be done. I feel that when I get it all done, THEN I can rest! (And of course, it's never all done....)

I used to think that when the children were grown then I would have more time to rest. Wrong! Then I thought that when I retired, I would have more time to rest. Wrong! I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm my own worst enemy. I don't know how to rest and I don't seem to be learning.

Some of the women at the Bible study said that they find a private place in the house and make an appointment with themselves to take 10-15 minutes, maybe half an hour, to just be in this place. They don't answer the phone, and make sure that it is a time when someone else is available for the children.

Do you ever struggle with getting enough rest? Is it of your own making, or are you a victim of circumstances? (for the most part, my lack of rest is of my own making). What does lack of rest do to you? (I get grumpy, get headaches, make stupid mistakes, etc. when I am really low on sleep.) Do you experience guilt when you take time just for yourself to rest? (I do).

Sometimes my body just forces me to sleep. Yesterday I sat down to read for a few minutes and four hours later I woke up. Yep, I was so tired that I just slept in the chair that long and then had a crick in my neck.

And now..... the REST of the story......

**homemaker66** · 05-08-2008, 07:07 AM

I never did find time to rest when the kids were growing up. Now I make sure I find time for myself. At first I was very hard because I felt quilty but I work hard so why not spoil myself. DH gets to go golfing every friday why can't I do something for myself. Last night I took a very long bath with no one bothering me. I try and get half hour a night.

**TheRootedNomad** · 05-08-2008, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by forHISglory

Do any of you have trouble finding time to rest?

Our women's Bible study tonight was on resting. It covered resting in a spiritual sense, as well as resting physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I really struggled with this particular topic because I find it hard to rest. Even if I make my body sit or lie down, my mind keeps racing, and guilt kicks in. If I open my eyes, I see things to do, to dust, to sweep, to organize, to put away, to wash......

I set goals for myself all the time, and never reach them, but not for want of trying. Hubby will tell me to just sit down and rest a little, but I never feel rested if there is work waiting to be done. I feel that when I get it all done, THEN I can rest! (And of course, it's never all done....)

I used to think that when the children were grown then I would have more time to rest. Wrong! Then I thought that when I retired, I would have more time to rest. Wrong! I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm my own worst enemy. I don't know how to rest and I don't seem to be learning.

Some of the women at the Bible study said that they find a private place in the house and make an appointment with themselves to take 10-15 minutes, maybe half an hour, to just be in this place. They don't answer the phone, and make sure that it is a time when someone else is available for the children.

Do you ever struggle with getting enough rest? Is it of your own making, or are you a victim of circumstances? (for the most part, my lack of rest is of my own making). What does lack of rest do to you? (I get grumpy, get headaches, make stupid mistakes, etc. when I am really low on sleep.) Do you experience guilt when you take time just for yourself to rest? (I do).

Sometimes my body just forces me to sleep. Yesterday I sat down to read for a few minutes and four hours later I woke up. Yep, I was so tired that I just slept in the chair that long and then had a crick in my neck.

And now..... the REST of the story......

And the truth is spoken from someone elses lips ( or fingertips rather). The part I put in purple most especially. I feel that way constantly. My children aren't grown and I'm not yet retired but I already find myself thinking I'll have more time then and KNOW that it's me not time that's the biggest issue.

**PrairieRose** · 05-08-2008, 08:31 AM

Yeah it's a problem for me too. These days I find if I nod off during the day it interferes with my sleep at night

But, like you said, if there's work to be done (and when isn't there work to be done?) I have a hard time resting. It's really kinda silly. I mean we're not waiting on a military inspection or anything. I keep telling myself these days that 'clean is a relative term'.....

**Hoosier Momma** · 05-08-2008, 09:25 AM

I honestly think you are my twin!

I am the same way now...I want to rest, but my mind says to pick up those toys or to do those dishes now and I feel like I never do until late at night. I have so many 'other' things I want to do, like reading and cross-stitching and so much more that I can't do because I feel like there is always so much to do (and Dad of 4 is always telling me to sit down and take a break, lol). With four kids under the age of 10 (okay, the oldest turns 10 in just over 4 weeks), it feels like it's a constant battle just to keep up with the day to day stuff and I never get to the 'extras.'

Just the other day I realized how much it was wearing me down, and dh and I had a talk about how I just need to give myself time. He said that my sanity is more important than if the house is in perfect order or everything is completely 'caught up.' So I have been thinking of ways to give myself time. I am looking into volunteering outside the house (I just signed up to chair the Book Fair at the kids' school next year, and am thinking about literacy volunteering), and dh is talking about things he can do to give me a break once in a while (like cooking dinner on Sundays). He is already a big help with the house and the kids. We have talked to our oldest and she is going to be taking over some chores during the summer to help me out (she loves to be a helper).

I am also doing some introspection on how to prop up my spiritual life, which seems to be stagnant right now. I used to do a daily time for prayer, and it was a great refresher, but in the stress of the last year, it has fallen by the wayside.

It's good to see that I am not alone in this...I was beginning to think I was a basket case! LOL

**Jeanna** · 05-08-2008, 09:56 AM

I used to never rest when the kids were small but then my body made me rest and now I can do about 1/3 of what I used to do. I would suggest that everyone take some time and rest and take care of themselves. I can't say everyone would get sick but I am sure that it rest would help prevent it.

**tbs727** · 05-08-2008, 10:11 AM

This is something that I really struggle with too. I find it extremely difficult to rest when there are things to do. flylady has helped me with some of that, but I find her website overwhelming so basically the main thing that I took from her teaching is the one hour home blessing. That's when I do all the thing that take only a little time but SEEM to take so much longer when done individually. During this time I set my timer for an hour and focus solely on cleaning.
*deep clean kitchen
*change and wash sheets
*vacuum all floors
*dust entire house (with a swiffer)
*empty newspapers
I usually finish in about 40 minutes leaving me 20 minutes to deep clean one item like cleaning out the fridge, vacuuming corners, mopping floors, etc. Hopefully you get the idea. I always do my cleaning on Thursday afternoon. That means that on Monday afternoon or Saturday morning I'm not thinking of dusting. If I do think of dusting I tell myself it will get done on Thursday so don't worry about it right now. I also don't clean, except laundry, when DH is home. It used to irritate me to work around him while he happily sat on the couch. I would work around him shooing him here or there, which would then make him irritated, too. Now, when DH is home that's when I rest. We spend time together enjoying each other's company rather than irritating each other.

The last time I got really overwhelmed with life I wrote down everything I do. That included couponing, all my cleaning, laundry, music, church, work, hobbies, EVERYTHING. Then went through the list and looked for things that didn't make a huge impact in budget but took up a lot of time. The first thing that was scaled way back was couponing, it took up too much time for the amount of money I saved. I also cut back on church activities, and other things I did but didn't enjoy. Making the list and having my activities in black and white really made me realize how much of my life was spent doing thing out of obligation rather than joy.

I am finally learning that resting and taking time for myself isn't selfish, it is time spent recharging so that I can be there for other people.

I hope this helps someone else and I look forward to hearing how others make time to recharge.

**luv-my-lexi** · 05-08-2008, 12:29 PM

Well I must be lazy compared to lots of the people here cause I do take time for myself and to rest. :surprise: I by no means have a spotless home but I always try to keep it company ready. Meaning if someone popped up at my door (I don't freak out letting them in and worry what they think) it looks nice. I seem to go in small bursts of cleaning and picking up but I definitely don't have that perfectionism gene.

**shoiji** · 05-08-2008, 12:30 PM

While I can not say I am as busy as everyone on this thread, I do tell myself that at 7:00pm each day this is me time. This is my time to unwind. Get ready for the next day and just relax before going to bed.

**cab54** · 05-08-2008, 02:01 PM

I too, am a guilt ridden person if I sit or lie down in the daytime. I sleep OK at night, but I am often overcome with tiredness in the afternoon and feel tremendous guilt if I rest.

I sometimes think it has to do (in my case) with being an 'oldest' child. That feeling of uber-responsibility and 'get it done' thinking that comes fom being in a large family ---and your weary mother could use your help. You feel like you are needed to 'hold it all together'

and the world will fall apart if you don't keep careful watch. You learn early that you have to 'be there' for people.

Other times I think, maybe it has something to do with my sign--Virgo. Now mind you, I don't put much stock in astrology, but I have to admit--the character summary of a Virgo DOES sum me up exactly--(read: anal, OCD, perfectionist).

Whatever it is, I really envy those who can just let stuff go for a bit and realize that it will be there when they arise again. Wish I could get to that point---but I AM getting better.

Now I just use the 'when I'm on my deathbed' way of thinking. I say to myself "When you are on your deathbed, Cheryl, do you want to think how fabulously organized your cabinets were and how many hours you 'wasted' cleaing them? Or do you want to remember that you smelled the roses, and felt the wonders of drifting off into that twilight sleep in the middle of an afternoon, or stopped to just sit in a chair and think how blessed you are?"

**forHISglory** · 05-08-2008, 02:35 PM

I'm an oldest child, too. Didn't think about it when I posted, but it is true that I had responsibilities that none of the others had.

I like the "deathbed" test! Of course, knowing me, I'll rise up in the coffin and begin to tell everyone how to arrange the flowers! LOL!

**mom2matty** · 05-08-2008, 02:36 PM

The minute I think I might actually get to sit and rest.........someone needs something!!

I also have a very hard time sitting still for any length of time.....there is always something that has to be done and while I'm not anal about anything........I just feel better once it is all done!

**cab54** · 05-08-2008, 04:18 PM

forHISglory--

I can just see you laying there and whispering out of the corner of your mouth--"You're not REALLY going to put those orange lilies next to those purple snapdragons........ARE you??"

**annymoll** · 05-08-2008, 04:35 PM

I work during the day and I sleep at night. During the day I stop for a few minutes, sit down, have something to eat or drink. I stop for lunch.I do not nap during the day.I would not sleep at night if I did.

**AmyBoz** · 05-08-2008, 04:35 PM

I'm not a rester. I know, I know...take some "me" time, etc., but the truth is, if you are trying to rest, but you are thinking of other things, are you really enjoying it?

I'd rather just do the stuff that needs to be done, and not worry about rest. If I'm lying in the tub thinking about all of these things that need to be done, that's not relaxing. Forcing yourself to rest is just not restful.

So, I don't rest. I do go to bed early (after the kids are in bed, obviously) because I need to get up early, and I get my rest there.