Custody question

**Cricket1** · 05-14-2008, 10:12 AM

I have a friend that is splitting up with her long time fiance. They have a set of 5 year old twins. Her fiance comes from a wealthy family--she has nothing. They came to an agreement about sharing custody. They both work opposite schedules so when she's working, he'll have the kids, when he's working, she'll have them. Since they came to this agreement, she has been trying to save money to actually move out and get her own apartment.

He told his parents and they hired him an attorney. She (my friend) has NO money for an attorney and she called legal aid and they won't do pro bono custody work. She would need $3,500 to get someone to represent her. He swears that he will not change the agreement that they made and he wants to have both of them go sit down and talk to the atty. and come up with the plan. She is nervous because the attorney is representing him and not her.

Any ideas or thoughts on this? I have absolutely no experience with this so I can't help her. TIA

**Cricket1** · 05-14-2008, 10:13 AM

By the way, they are not married and not common law, yet.

**kellydoeshair** · 05-14-2008, 11:20 AM

just make sure she READS anything and everything she signs
sounds like even though a full time lawyer is not in the budget she might be able to hire someone very SHORT term to just look over what the other lawyer "drafts" to make sure there's nothing lurking in there in tricky language
because in almost any state most courts will not just TAKE kids away from the mother completely without an EXTREME situation but if she signs away her custodial rights, that would be tricky to change...

**englishcottage1** · 05-14-2008, 11:37 AM

Although they seem to be in agreement right now, things can be not so nice when it comes to the money matters, etc. Even though she can't find a full time lawyer maybe she can try to find someone that would look over the paperwork with her before she signs anything, yes, the lawyer is working for him and she needs to remember that, perhaps she could try a law school or something? Just to read the paperwork? I know it's hard for her, but she needs to try to think down the road, what does she do when he starts dating again and doesn't want to watch the kids when she works, etc. Also, she can find help on the internet, finding out her rights etc. Good luck to her.

**ktsmama** · 05-14-2008, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by kellydoeshair

just make sure she READS anything and everything she signs
sounds like even though a full time lawyer is not in the budget she might be able to hire someone very SHORT term to just look over what the other lawyer "drafts" to make sure there's nothing lurking in there in tricky language
because in almost any state most courts will not just TAKE kids away from the mother completely without an EXTREME situation but if she signs away her custodial rights, that would be tricky to change...

I agree with Kelly. I think that as long as she reads everything very carefully (maybe even taking someone along that she can trust and who is level headed to read over everything with her) she will probably be okay.

Good luck to her.

**leezza** · 05-14-2008, 01:32 PM

Check the phone book for legal aid, I wouldn't talk with him and his attorney without representation period.....if she can't hire someone to go with her have them mail her the papers and then hire a attorney for only the hours to read and give her advice......I would be very careful and also tell her to get all important paperwork like birth certs, ids, ss cards, passports, ect.... out of the house and into a secure location.

The guy may be OK but it sounds like his parents might have a lot of influence.

JMHO,
leezza