What do I do?

[debbiepete]

We went camping last weekend with friends of ours and it was LOUSY!!!! She is on depression meds and some other stuff for her moods. and her kids!! I dont know where to start. Her son just turned 16 and has been locked up more times than I care to remember. Well Saturday was the pits. She moaned and groaned, complained and wined amd moaped ALL night.
I cant take it any more, how do I tell her I will not go thru that gain?
Please tell me if I am wrong

[captclearance]

Your not wrong, sometimes we have to let people know what we think.... Give them a wake up call....It is unacceptable for someone else to rain their misery on someone else !!!!!
I understand depression, I suffered with it for years, I never let it be an excuse for being rude or unkind ....Shame on her, maybe it's time she knew........

[debbiepete]

She sent me an apology this morning and said she cant wait for the 25-26th when we are suppose to be going again. But thats my birthday and I sure dont want the same thing to happen again. I am so confused

[captclearance]

I am glad she apologized, but consider weather you really want to spend your Birthday that way..... Ask yourself is this likely to happen again ???? Maybe you should tell her that dh wants to be alone for your BD........

[debbiepete]

I wish I could but the reservations have already been made, and worse than that, the hubbies are good friends. I guess I;ll just have to bite the bullet

[Jerseygirl]

You could always play sick at the last minute and tell them to go ahead and enjoy their family time

[tnschaffer]

We have some friends that I like to hang out with...but their kids drive me INSANE!! We have had to stop doing anything with them if it requires children. I havent said anything to her...she thinks her kids are great. So I am kind of in the same situtation. How do you tell someone, you dont want to hang around them because of the way they or their kids act?

Good luck in your decision. Sorry i cant be more help.

[gw72356@fullnet.com]

I suffer from depression-I wouldn't go somewhere with some one just to whine,I'd stay home. She has no right to do that to you. If it is your birthday,you should call the shots. A simple "no" I have other plans,so cancel the reservations,hubbys can visit on their birthday! Biting the bullet-gets you no where,I did it for years,at least not on your day. Enjoy it!!!

[i.m.cheap]

I would not spend my birthday with people that bring me down. Reservations can be cancelled.

[MJsLady]

I agree. Of course being a i would tell dh to go himself but that i was not wasting my 1 day of the year that is SUPPOSED to be all about ME coddling some weepy woman!
I mean, come on Deb, this is your day, dh needs to put YOU ahead of his bonding buddy!
But we all know I am a mean old witch anyway!
PS I do not mean to indicate that thewoman's depression is not real and not important, just that Deb is entitled to enjoy her trips without having to deal with it. Going along and being weepy is rude beyond belief to me.

[Patchworkgirl]

I agree with MJsLady, this is one day when you have a right to be selfish. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? Maybe he doesn't realize how she is acting. I'm for cancelling your plans and planning something different- without these friends!!

[KathiS]

If I felt I just couldn't get out of this situation, I would start some good old behavior mod with that gal. When she starts to moan and groan, change the subject or find somewhere else to be. When she talks about positive things, give her your full attention. At least you would feel like you were working on making things better. Once you break the cycle of her negativity, spending time with her might not be as bad. Hope you come up with a solution that doesn't cause you to have an awful birthday. You deserve a good one. Best of luck.....Kathi

[Michelle]

Debbie...what did you end up doing? I'm assuming you told her somehow that you weren't going because I saw a post about having a birthday dinner tonight...fill us in on the details of what happened.