...Life is strange to say the least

**Lady_V** · 07-05-2008, 09:10 AM

I had given up hope of ever adding to the family. Our biggest concern was, we couldn't give both children the same lives. My family isn't in the picture and the Old Man's family is all 'down south'. DD's grandparents live 10 minutes away. We couldn't financially give a second child the same advantages, private schooling and financial security my DD has.

Once again life tosses things at you when you least expect it. Yesterday I spent the day with DD, my ex and his parents. Someone had mentioned that my DD was great with her younger cousin and would be a great big sister. (All eyes turn to me as if I could pop out a child on command

) After a very uncomfortable minute that seemed to last days...

Me: Don't say that too loudly, she's been asking for years to be a big sister.
Ex-FIL: Well, why don't you?
Me: We thought about it, but I don't know if I can even carry a baby after the treatments I went through before DD.
Ex-FIL: You have insurance, it covered it last time.
Me: It's a different insurance now, I don't think it covers infertility treatments. We thought about adoption, but... we don't know.
Ex-Fil: Why don't you really have another child.
(Man, he's good....)
Me: We don't know how we will balance everything. DD has you. (Old Man's) family is so far away. You already know the

my family does.
Ex-FIL: And?
Me: I'm 36, I am having surgery in a few weeks, it would be a while before I can even try.
Ex-FIL: And?
Me: And... and... and DD is already 8.
Ex-FIL: And?
(Does he never give up????)
Me: Hand-me-downs can only take you so far. The private schools don't let me 'hand down' an education. Honestly, I don't want the second child to grow up and hate us because they would have totally different lives.
(I can't believe I even told him that)
Ex-FIL: I want more Grandkids.
(To which I let out a little laugh because I know my ex can't have any, and last I checked... we were divorced)
Me: I don't think (ex) wants any more kids.
Ex-FIL: We want more Grandkids. We'll help you.

After that DD accidentally hit him on the head with the volleyball and I managed to run away...

I couldn't sleep last night... the biggest obstacle has been removed. My ex-inlaws would treat DD's sibling as their grandchild... equals. I am sure there will always be a 'favorite' factor there, but knowing they actually WANT us to have another child...

The day to day things will always be a struggle... but I am older and wiser now. I know how to make diapers, how to sew clothes, how to live a frugal life while still LIVING...

I don't know if we will have a second child... but, I will have fun trying

**Moor** · 07-05-2008, 09:19 AM

well, have fun trying! lol

i really hope that things work out for you.

**emily_hope** · 07-05-2008, 10:49 AM

What generous people your ex-in-laws are. I hope everything works out for you.

**Ilovesewing** · 07-05-2008, 11:03 AM

That's amazing - really! Good luck with whatever happens

**Jamauk** · 07-05-2008, 11:30 AM

See, don't you love it when the universe sends you a big neon sign that smacks you in the head like that?!

Good Luck!!!!

**janelane** · 07-05-2008, 02:20 PM

Wow, that is a really awesome family you have there.

Good luck!

**suebeehoney** · 07-05-2008, 02:48 PM

quite a conversation you had with your ex-FIL there!

Next step is to get rid of ALL baby things from your last pregnancy & child - in my world, that GUARANTEES you will get pregnant and have to go out and buy it all over again!

**Momof3girls** · 07-05-2008, 03:55 PM

Well, that is a lot of support! Good luck with your decision!

**AmyBoz** · 07-05-2008, 04:14 PM

Well, that's an interesting story!!!

**jamie79** · 07-05-2008, 04:27 PM

Good luck to whatever you chose

**JessieMom** · 07-05-2008, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by suebeehoney

quite a conversation you had with your ex-FIL there!

Next step is to get rid of ALL baby things from your last pregnancy & child - in my world, that GUARANTEES you will get pregnant and have to go out and buy it all over again!

This is SO true, lol. We had a yard sale & got rid of all my 2nd child's things 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant with Emmy. I comforted myself by telling myself I didn't want boy stuff for my daughter anyway

I think it is really nice that your ex's family is so supportive. Good luck with whatever may come.

**cissylu** · 07-05-2008, 06:07 PM

Aw that is so sweet ,great people . boy they want more dgk
bad.
good luck with what ever you decide.

**mamamia** · 07-06-2008, 02:52 AM

I guess you weren't so blessed with your ex-hubby, but your ex-ILs certainly make up for him!

They really sound like such kind, loving people and since you had lunch together, I'm guessing again that the relationship between you guys has stayed good. Bet it could be wonderful for everyone!

It's still a BIG decision to have to make though. Hoping all goes well for you!!

Theresa

**TheRootedNomad** · 07-06-2008, 09:13 AM

Ummmm.....WOW!!! They sound like a great set of inlaws.....and that does sound like a sign.

**JustMegan79** · 07-15-2008, 11:40 PM

You are very lucky to have such giving and genuine ex-inlaws in your life. I cant say that I have ever run across anyone who would have the same situation.

Take whatever it is as it comes, knowing that you have support and acceptance, and smile, as you are blessed.

Megan