Ahhhhhhhhh, when do I get a moment's peace?

**MomToTwoBoys** · 07-19-2008, 09:14 PM

All I hear all day long is, "Mommy, do this with me.". Trust me, I love my kids to death but when all I hear is them begging me to do things with them and not getting a moment to myself, it really drives me crazy. Today, I took Dakota to the store to buy him school clothes. I then had DH pick me up and instead of staying in the house, I went outside to clean up the backyard. It needed to be mowed too, so I sort of did both. I am just plain tired out when I realize that I needed a rake. I walked again to the store, put up with the crap there from people I didn't even know, then came home at 4. I went back outside after having a drink of water to do the backyard and I realized I wouldn't have time to do the back, side and front yards before dinner. I pop the leftover rigatoni in the oven to heat up, go outside and manage to do the back yard (including weed trimming the side near the fence). I come back inside and I am just beat. The first things I hear out of my youngest is, "Mommy, will you play with me?". I tried to tell him I was just too tired and sick, but instead I gave in and went to play two games of Treasure Hunt With Dora (it's like Chutes and Ladders). I then call my mom to find out about her plane ticket and Dakota's constantly begging me to give him attention. I get off the phone, get dinner served, come back to sit down and I have Matthew (the oldest DS) throwing a constant fit. I forgot to also mention he's the autistic one and all he does all day long is scream, yell and talk to himself but at a level that makes you just want to pull your hair out. It's literally like someone's beating him up but no one's even touching him.

Anyways, Dakota wants me then to color with him and I tell him I just want to rest. My right ear hurts and my balance is totally thrown off, plus I was sick to my stomach. I just didn't want to be bothered. I sit down with Dakota and he wants me to draw everything from a star to people and when I tell him I just want a minute to myself, he throws a fit saying, "Well FINE! I DON'T WANT TO COLOR!" and starts crying.

OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE TODAY! That was going through my head. I listen to both kids screaming, fighting, yelling and begging for things all friggin day long and it's to the point where I don't want to be here all day anymore.

And you know what makes me feel bad in all of this? When Dakota comes over to me and says, "Mommy, I'm sorry that I was being bad today.". That stuff really breaks my heart and I tell him about why I needed time to myself, and he understands, then I promise him I'm taking him to the park tomorrow.

Sorry, I just needed to rant.

**Dobby** · 07-19-2008, 09:25 PM

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

I wish I had some suggestions for you... After spending all day at the daycare with screaming kids and being on my feet all day, the last thing I want to deal with is whining and fits at home. For a bit after we get home, I tell my DD (just turned 6) that I need a few minutes of quiet, and I turn a favorite cartoon on for DS (2). I know, electronic babysitter, but I swear it saves my sanity.

Do you have any preteens near you who can help? Before my oldest was big enough, I used to have a little friend down the road come over to 'babysit'. She wasn't old enough to do it on her own, but she would occupy DD when she was little, play with her, etc, while I stayed in another area of the house and got some quiet 'me' time. I didn't pay her much, as I was home and the responsible one, but DD got someone closer to her age to play with. Just a thought.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 07-19-2008, 09:53 PM

It's funny; most of the kids in our immediate neighborhood are around Dakota's age (and that's 4). My oldest DS has a hard time making friends because kids don't understand why he acts the way he does. I'm sure it'll get better when Dakota goes to school and makes new friends, but we're sort of stuck for now.

**Jamauk** · 07-19-2008, 10:01 PM

A lot of people think I'm nuts, but I offer to watch my friend's kids all of the time!

DS is 5 and about once a week I have one of my friend's drop their kid(s) off. The other kids keep DS occupied while I get to do the dishes in peace (or play on FV)

Then, when I need to get errands run or a dr appt or whatever, my friends will keep my kids because I volunteer to take theirs so often.

**Frugal Nurse** · 07-19-2008, 10:03 PM

I always needed that 15 minute of transition time when I got home. NO BUGGING me allowed. After I had time alone in my room - I came back out.. with a smile.

But, try to look at this way,

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up we have learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby, cause babies don't keep.

My mom helped me out here...
Coloring is a VERY therapeutic relaxing thing to do.
All you need to do is 'sit' there - that's nice
hold a crayon - 'smells good' and easy to do. No manpower needed.
move your hand rhythmically on the paper - that's soothing

Sort of changed my way of thinking.

I hope you feel better though.

**cmdarlin** · 07-24-2008, 08:57 AM

We all have days like that. Wish I were closer to help give you a little time to yourself.... Sometimes we just need Calgon to 'take us away'.....

Debbie in Missouri

**McD** · 07-24-2008, 09:06 AM

I feel the same way sometimes, especially after playing the single mommy game with Wesley while Zac was gone. I guess I figured after Zac came home I would get a little more peace but nope.

last night was the first time in 3 months (no exaggeration) that I was able to take a bath without Wesley coming to visit (i.e. throw his toys into my tub).

**Megareader** · 07-24-2008, 09:16 AM

Your story sure does take me back! Dd is 19 now but I do remember the days like yours. Dh's job regularly takes him out of town so I functioned like a single parent. And let me say, no matter if your dh is in town or not, taking care of children is hard work. But it is special times. Now I can look back on those "crazy days" and smile. The only advice I have is to enjoy every day with your kids, they really do grow up fast.

**FrugalMomof3** · 07-24-2008, 09:20 AM

I know how you feel, My DD is home all the time and she's 12, I try to get her to call her friends but she would much rather be up my butt, lol.... being that she is 12 she's not too bad but when the kids were much younger, they got on my nerves all the time... I managed but giving them something to keep them occupied like a craft or something. Wasnt that bad I guess.

Now's the time since my kids are 18, 17 & 12 that I WISH they were younger, it's like they dont need me anymore

**GM97** · 07-24-2008, 09:25 AM

When i feel like I'm ready to explode, I turn the tv off and I ask them to play a game with me on who can stay quiet longer, whoever wins will get a quarter or a cup of ice cream. works all the time!

**IntlMom** · 07-24-2008, 09:36 AM

MomToTwoBoys:
How are you doing today? I totally feel your pain. I have two 10 year olds, one with some issues not far off your sons......tiring doesn;t even begin to cover it!!!!!
Just wondering how you were doing the last few days.

**Momto2Boyz** · 07-24-2008, 09:45 AM

Ok, not only do we have parallel screen names...I think we may have parallel lives!

My night was almost a mirror image of yours last night. Mowing, yard work, phone calls, kids, hubby, the whole 9 yards!

My saving grace last night, was that some twins that live down the street came over to play. So I sent them all out into the backyard to play baseball and the twins kept my kids out of my hair for almost 2 hours. Hallelujah!

I wish I had some saving grace advice for you...but no. And if anyone gives you any magic advice, you'll have to pass it along! But just know you aren't alone, we are in a similiar boat here. It literally is a 24/7 job and you NEVER get a break. I tend to stay up late at night, after the kids have gone to bed, just to get a little bit of peace and quiet!

We have a kid's cupboard in the kitchen, that is full of kids activities and that sometimes helps. When I need to sit for a few minutes, I just tell them to hit the closet and find something to do. It is coloring books, paper crafts, painting (which they can do once I set everything up), board games they can do themselves, etc. It usually keeps them occupied for about 10 minutes!

Well, head to the park today, and take a good book or magazine and maybe while the kids are playing, you can steal a few minutes for yourself!

**hugxlaughxsmilexlove** · 07-24-2008, 11:23 AM

I have my bad days.. I gate my kids in their rooms - doors open and I can hear EVERYTHING they're doing.. and I just sit here on my couch and stare out the window. Sometimes I'll lay in my bed (right next to their rooms too) and close my eyes for 5 minutes.. sometimes I'll clean myself up. We all have our "I need a freaking minute to myself before I have a meltdown" moments.

And then there are times when I try to get chores done around the house and I can't because my kids want to read a book, or color, play-doh, etc etc.. then it's.. the chores can wait because my kids will only need me for so long..

In a few years you'll have all of the peace you need.. your kids won't "need" mommy and you'll find yourself needing them.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 07-24-2008, 02:58 PM

Well I wish I could say today was a better day, but DS9 is behind me right now jumping up and down on one of the black leather sofas having a tantrum. They're getting worse lately and for reasons that I'll never know. He's broken both leather couches on one end and when I talk to him about why he's having the tantrums, he'll either start crying or he'll act like nothing's wrong. It's like a light switch with him. We have him on Risperidol because it was getting bad, but it's as bad now as it was before we put him on the medication.

DS4 has been pretty good today, but still can't get it into his mind to stop being bossy to DS9. When DS4 does that, it makes DS9 upset and DS9 has done everything from sitting on DS4's head to punching him in the stomach to shaking his head. I feel like a referee sometimes and to think I get to be around this for the rest of my life, it makes me really sad. I can't handle this anymore...

**Frugal Nurse** · 07-24-2008, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by GM97

When i feel like I'm ready to explode, I turn the tv off and I ask them to play a game with me on who can stay quiet longer, whoever wins will get a quarter or a cup of ice cream. works all the time!

This is funny!! I've done that too.

Ya know what else I did.. once or twice - maybe.
Is.. I turned the clocks ahead so they thought their bedtime arrived and they went to bed.