Completely over potty training

**reginaastralis** · 09-21-2008, 11:58 PM

While I LOVE my three year old ... I'm over it at this point.

About a month ago, she was in preschool full time. She was COMPLETELY potty trained. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I withdrew her from school a) To save money (I'm a single mom who waitresses, I'm not exactly banking in the current economy. And b) I am working more nights so I actually want to see my child.

For the first week or so out of school, we were great, no accidents. Since then, she's completely regressed with the potty. She refuses to go, doesn't mind wetting underwear, says she "wants to stay in poopy pants" all day.

Are you kidding me?!?

She'll be four in Jan. She knows when she needs to potty, knows how to do it ... but won't. Her "excuse" is that she "didn't have a chance to go potty." I don't even know what this means!

About three weeks ago, she also started getting completely freaked out with the automatic sensor at some potties. I don't know if this is the reason she won't go, even at home ... but I'm pretty stressed. I've considered taking away things, like her being able to watch her favorite movie ... but that just seems mean. I don't know what to do at this point ... please, help.

**Lady_V** · 09-22-2008, 01:02 AM

Changes can and most likely will result in some sort of 'potty regression'.

Unfortunately, you just have to keep getting back up on that horse. Bringing her to the potty several times a day, monitoring her behaviors for tell-tale signs, etc.

If she is having a lot of 'accidents', and it seems as if she really can't make it to the bathroom, you may want to consider a call to the pediatrician.

**reginaastralis** · 09-22-2008, 01:07 AM

I don't know if I would call it "accidents". She'll come in and tell the adult she see's (either me or my parents) that she was "too busy" or "didn't have a chance" to go to the potty. She usually hides when she is doing it.

Sigh ... I don't know. Love the kid ... thinking about selling her to the circus.

**janelane** · 09-22-2008, 01:14 AM

I used to be scared of the flushing when I was little, like it would somehow suck me down, even if I was across the room, lol. I know emptying them is gross, but maybe her own little potty chair would help, then you could move back onto the big toilet again when she gets the not-going-in-her-pants down again?

Of course there could be something deeper going on. Does she miss preschool? My DH tells the (now hillarious, of course, looking back on it) story of the opposite, totally hating going to his sitter's house. For awhile he got into the habit of saving up his poo and then letting it go in his pants, right as his mom was unlocking the door to get into the house after picking him up. He was ticked at her, and that was how he decided to punish her.

**cab54** · 09-22-2008, 09:47 AM

I'll bet it's the change, like Lady_V said. Maybe she misses the socialization with kids her age.

And also---peer 'pressure' (not wanting to be different from other kids her age) might get her back to staying clean and dry. I know it sounds as though you have enough to do, but is there anyone she used to play-date with? Before preschool, maybe. A neighbor kid who can come over and play once in awhile?

Kids like to be 'big' in front of other kids. And it might make up for her being away from her preschool mates.

I remember my DS#1 showing a neighbor friend (who didn't have a dad at home) how to go standing up, when they were 3. It was cute. Except they hosed down the wall behind my toilet.

Oh,well.

**cheriede** · 09-22-2008, 10:07 AM

My 3rd girl just became potty-trained about 6 weeks before her 4th birthday. She never had any desire to go and she finally went because she was busting (litterally) out of the diapers. Since she couldn't keep the diapers on because the tabs would bust open, I decided to strip her down. She FINALLY went and has been going everday since then. So, I feel your frustration.
One of the automatic toilets did flush while my child was sitting on the potty and she became terrified of them. She's still hasn't outgrown it and I'm not sure she ever will..LOL! This is my ten year old and this is still an issue for her 7 years later. Who would have thought!!
I'm not sure if the automatic toilet is the reason why your daughter has regressed or if it's another issue. If it is the automatic toilet, you give your daughter a pad of Post-it notes. Everytime she goes to the bathroom, she can put one over the sensor to keep it from flushing. When she's ready for it to flush, then she just removes the Post-it.
Hopefully this will be a short-lived. I wish I had more advice to offer you. Hang in there!

**joyofsix** · 09-22-2008, 10:19 AM

Any change will mess a kid up. I would (and trust me, I haven't potty trained mine all easily)
#1-lots of hugs, kisses, attention -Maybe she longs to be a 'baby' again for attention
#2-It sounds dumb, but kids jazz on sticker charts or smilies or whatever for good behavior. They don't even need a treat at the end.
#3-I'd set a timer for every hour and take her to the potty.
#4-For ds#3, it became is job to clean himself up. He had to change and take care of the dirty pants. I gave him no emotion about this, good or bad. It was just his job. I kept a bucket for his dirty underwear next to the potty and wipes for him. He had to carry the bucket to the washer. Oh, and a bath every night. He trained in three days after that.

**reginaastralis** · 09-22-2008, 12:40 PM

Thanks for the advice ladies!

I'm obviously stressed about this, which I know Juliette is feeding on.

I am going to get very serious about going potty ... and take the accidents as they come.

My mom says she "never had a problem with any of us going potty" but my sister is only 10 and I remember her hating the potty. Just like Juliette. Hmm ... maybe it's hereditary.

**MoonMommy** · 09-22-2008, 01:32 PM

My only advice is to try to find something she likes (maybe M&M's) and every time she "listens to her body" and makes it to the potty on time, she gets a few M&Ms (like 3-5). Do that until she goes a week or so without any accidents and then give her the reward for doing a good job listening to her body all day. After about a week of that, she might be back on her way.

however, whatever her reward is (like M&Ms) she only gets it for "listening to her body". So...no M&Ms any other time of day. The reward needs to have power or it won't work.

My DS was horrible to potty train. He still has issues with automatic flush toilets and how loud public toilets are and he is 6.5. My DD was easier to train, but now she is starting to exert....something. With my DS, I eventually realized that a lot of his hangups, he was doing it for attention and I told him "you know what, you know when you need to go. If you don't go, then you will either mess your pants, or you will end up at the doctors. Either way, it is up to you and you are old enough to go to the bathroom on your own without me telling you to do it." It worked. Amazingly.

I may try that with my daughter. We shall see.

**ATLCheap** · 10-03-2008, 10:56 AM

I'd do the bare butt approach--no clothes on her bottom in the house until she poops in the potty again. She's old enough that it would probably irritate her to be naked, so she'll get the message rather quickly.

That said, if it's not as intentional as you think it is, I'd opt for a potty schedule, making her try every 2 hours like clockwork.

Good luck,
Jenn