HELP!!! I'm such a mean mom. (Plus ADHD Qust)

**FrugalFive** · 10-12-2008, 12:15 PM

I just made my oldest (6) and the oldest that I babysit (7) run around the outside of the house for ten minutes!

I am just SO SICK of them running through my house. Not only does it make the entire house sound like it's caving in, but there are 4 younger ones that they trample over doing so. I finally just broke! They think I'm crazy now. But, they're sitting in the back room, exhausted, instead of running through the house trampling over the babies.

Anyways, the seven year old has ADHD (BAD!!) and the next three oldest are just generally OVERLY hyper. I'm not talking just being kids...I mean everyday at least SOMETHING gets broke at my house. I'm sick of replacing all this stuff of mine (ex:ceiling fan!), not to mention all my kid's toys are getting broke by other kids! I need advice from parents of kids that are EXTREMELY active or destructive or any other kind of discipline problem you can think of.

The new baby is coming by the end of the week, and I don't want to have to put 6 kids in time out just so that it's quiet enough for her to sleep.

HELP

**lwlynch** · 10-12-2008, 12:35 PM

At my house everything during the day from 7am to 6pm is scheduled and play is right along in there. Just for example. I keep about 6 shoe boxes, in each box is a set of something markers, paper ; stampers ; playdough; crayons, color book; beads; and then play boxes of sets..potatoe head, lego blocks, barbies, western town set, wizard set, farm set. These are all allowed to be choosed from and there is a 20 min playtime, after that they can clean up and switch. There is also outside time, which I have cars, chalk, jacks, jumpropes...and this also is a 20 min. (of course if they are really into it, it can stretch longer.) during the times my little ones need to sleep all that is allowed is puzzles, books, coloring and a movie. It seems so restrictive but it keeps the crazy running down to a slow pace.. Also I put in a homework time and a snack time... more less all summed up..took away all the running and getting into trouble time...
after 6 at my house, it is dinner, bath and bedrooms.. they can then play what they want quietly till bed time... in the summer they usually go outside and swim.
did i help at all or just rambling ..sorry...

**FrugalFive** · 10-12-2008, 03:02 PM

The four that aren't mine, aren't calm enough even for this. All four of them (which makes it sad, cause the youngest is only 1) have serious behavioral issues. Like, the other night, the oldest was pouring drinks for everyone. He sat the pitcher of lemonade on the kitchen floor while he was pouring milk for the two youngest. Well, the three year old wanted milk (there wasn't enough), and in protest of the lemonade, kicked the pitcher over. I don't mean knock it over...KICKED it across the kitchen! Then, last night, the 2 year old took the lid off of her sippy cup and dumped an entire glass of milk on my couch. So, I told her that she could just drink water. Well, she didn't approve of that and dumped the entire cup of water on the floor, and then the three year old copied, pouring a whole cup of milk on the floor. (My poor floors!) So, now they are both limited to drinking only water...and it has to be supervised (no more running around w/the cup). This is the kind of things that I deal with the entire time that they're here!

They've had a hard life (foster care, crackhead mother, father in prison, no stable structure at home, etc) and I try to keep that in mind...but I'm really about ready to quit babysitting them ($1100/mo income and the privilage of being a SAHM). I really do love these kids...but the way they act is ridiculous.

**monkeywrangler71** · 10-12-2008, 04:02 PM

What was so mean? Physical activity is good for kids. It worked didn't it?

I used to make my daughter run to the park and back when she was getting agitated. Physical activity can help children like that calm down and focus. If you are able to work a higher degree of exercise into your daily schedule, you may find the children easier to manage. You need activities that require a fair bit of energy, but not ones that pump you up emotionally (ie. running games that involve racing, not chasing). If the older ones are in school and have to do homework at your house, make sure you exercise them before they sit down for the school work. Try to get them outside for as long as possible during the day.

**zakity** · 10-12-2008, 04:20 PM

Nothing wrong with that. I have three boys (only one is ADHD) do that when they were getting too rambuctious. It doesn't hurt them at all. Boys need exersize. They need to be worn out.

Good job on being resourceful!

I bet that things would improve greatly at your house if running around the house a few times was something that all of the kids did.

And, as for the mean mom part, I have made my guys run around the house in the cold and the rain. They needed it desperately.

**Greebo** · 10-12-2008, 07:48 PM

I was a camp counselor for several years. Boys in grades 6-9. Invariably, mid week, they'd push curfew by talking after lights out later and later. My buddy and I, who were co counselors, knew what to do - - - the same thing done to us when I went to that camp.

Curfew was 10:00. At 10:30, OUT OF BED, GET YOUR SHORTS AND SHOES ON, RIGHT NOW!! COME ON! MOVE!!! And out they went, and up and down the hill that was between our cabin and the ... hehheh the intermediate GIRLS cabin.

Not only did they get worn out, they got the embarrassment of all their girlfriends of 3 days snickering at them the next morning.

Always fun!

**kittykatstrong** · 10-13-2008, 02:30 AM

I have the same problem with my dd if I dont let her "out". On days when we stay home and veg all day are the days that the bathtub gets painted with a finger nail polish brush and soap. They are just testing there boundries and right the bathroom is out for my dd. LOL!

**joyofsix** · 10-13-2008, 07:08 AM

Ok, not only do I have hyper kids I was one. My 2nd grade teacher made me run laps of the playground each morning and afternoon. I thought it was great! I HATED sitting in a chair. I would say physical activity daily, lots. My kids are sent out (yes I watch when the 4yo is out alone) and told not to come back in until whenever. They find things to do. Now in your case, I think I'd be watching all the time because what your babysitting kids might find to do is scary. When you can, take them to a park. You can sit in the car with the baby and watch. And playing in the cold won't hurt them either unless it's bitter.

**staciah** · 10-13-2008, 08:24 AM

How about DUCT TAPE? That is such a wonderful invention! I am just kidding though but I feel for you. I have an ADHD child and I am wondering if my youngest is ADHD too. I hope you get some good advice other than my DUCT TAPE Idea.

PS your not a mean mom!!

**Ceashels** · 10-13-2008, 09:02 AM

Can you incorporate some competitive activities that include running outside?

Art Relay:
Take some construction paper and cut out (one for each runner) components of a picture (tree, cloud, house, roof of house, door of house, window of house, shrub, car, you get the idea).

Set all of the cut outs at one end of the yard.

They must take one piece at a time and tape (its neater) it to a plain unmarked piece of paper to make the complete picture. This paper is located at the other end of the yard.

The first one who completes their picture with all of the cut outs on it correctly, wins.

Each leg of the relay can be a different physical skill, jump, skip, walk backward, or sideways.

Perhaps the winner can pick the next physical activity or take a large jar and fill it with other race type ideas.

Wheelbarrow race
3 legged race
Egg on a spoon race
potato sack race

They sound like old fashioned games but they are frugal, and they burn off the extra energy.

**faw42077** · 10-13-2008, 09:33 AM

I agree with the others, you are not mean! It will not hurt them at all. I am sorry you are having a hard time and I hope it gets better.

**perSue** · 10-13-2008, 09:50 AM

Another fun idea (for kids) is sometimes they want to do "grown up" things... even at a little age.
Do you have a trampette? a pilates ball?
any of these things are SUPER helpful on cold/rainy days - INSIDE. They can jump and roll and stuff w/things that area meant to be used in that manner.

If not, i always see trampettes at my local thrift shops. Try asking around... jumping burns lotsa energy, and can teach kids "sharing".

even those wiffle balls for outside... (i'd recommend against bats tho for now). or those Nerf balls!... they make basketball size/shape, football, baseball... you name it! soft, don't hurt (and don't fly as well as the real thing!).

What about a frisbee?? (see Nerf above)

just keep thinking up (or asking) ideas... these kids will get bored doing the same stuff day after day or week after week. they will pick up on the pattern.

there's also homemade play-do you can make (it's non toxic and VERY easy to clean... just add water!). Get the kids involved... it's "messy" (flour) and fun to use your hands to mix. using food colouring will add extra fun!

Most things can be done outside... the mess is more tolerable and easier to clean up.

Good luck... and stay sane... we've ALL been there!

**MomToTwoBoys** · 10-13-2008, 10:35 AM

Making kids run around the outside of the house sounds like something my mom did for us when we were younger. I got one that's good for ya too:

My sister and I would fight nonstop. I mean, it was like to the point where I pushed my sister through a glass window in the bathroom because she twisted my right boob. One day, my mom grabbed both me and my sister by the ear and literally drug us outside into the snow. "There! Now you two can fight out there! I don't want that

in my house!" would be coming out of her mouth.

I can totally understand the kids being overly hyper and not wanting to sit down or even stay still for five minutes. When my kids get like that, I try to distract them with something that I know will calm them down. I have a separate playroom that's on another level of the house. I just make them go into there and there's things for them to do that'll keep their attention span focused on something for at least half an hour. If it's to the point where they're breaking stuff, I'd talk to the mother of the kid you babysit and see what you two can come up with. I'm sure she's probably at the end of her rope if her kid is so hyper.

Is there any chance to take them to the park? Do you have a fenced-in yard for them to run in?

**nvmommyx6** · 10-13-2008, 11:07 AM

Read this http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/blogs/nvmommyx6/172-children-discipline.html And then print out your house rules, desirable behaviors and undesirable behaviors and then post a board where their points (good behaviors, rule following) earn them privileges and so on, I can send you pictures of my board, This is an incredible program, very structured and able to be kid (any age) friendly!!
Let me know if you need the pictures of the charts and such, I will send them to you ASAP!!

**FrugalFive** · 10-13-2008, 12:49 PM

Thank you for all the tips. Send more if you have them! I'll take anything I can get.

When I went to the bathroom yesterday, I came out and the 2 year old had opened a package of koolaid, dumped the powder onto the (BRAND NEW) carpet, then started spitting in it! It took two hours to get the stain up...and there is still a pink tint to it, if you knew that it was there!

It's just super hard for me, cause my kids aren't like that. When it's just my kids, they sit and color in books or read or play quietly. And when I was a child, I was even quieter than them!

There's a park about a block away, but walking is the only way to get there, and by the end of the week there will be SEVEN kids (my 3rd will be here by Friday), so even though though the 2,3,6,&7 yr olds can walk..that leaves me w/a (walking)1yr old, a (non-walking) 1yr old, then the new baby.

I'm just gonna have to try and give them more energy-using activities to do at the house.