9 year old is driving me crazy vent

**TheRootedNomad** · 11-04-2008, 08:04 AM

It never fails.

I use almost every one of my vacation days/personal days when the boys are out of school so they don't have to spend ALL of thier days off getting up early anyway and staying with my father at my parents house. (Now they still spend a lot of time with Dad I just think they should get to stay home sometimes. I look foward to spending the day off, peacefully, at home with them.

It's never peaceful though. My husband pokes fun at me and tries to warn me when he sees me getting all excited about being off because he generally comes home to a very EXASPERATED wife instead of the joyous one you would expect after getting a day off.

I told them last night that their rooms needed straightened up before they turned on TV or video games this morning. My 9 year old, who is generally, the neat freak and mild tempered one, and only has a few things to put away, is in his room currently howling and slamming things. It is like a toddler temper tantrum. He never threw tantrums when he was little. The last few months though have been atrocious. They are almost every day. I know what I'm suppose to do with them, and how to handle him, it's just very frustrating that I spend my time with them dealing with the whinning and tantrums, at the very least hearing them.

Thankfully, the 12 year old is in a mellow stage at the moment. I do see the teen difiance starting to swirl though and DH and I are attempting to cut it off at the pass. I figure once DS#2 gets the tantrums back under control and returns to normal we'll have a couple of months of calm before DS#1's teenage "stuff" will start to hit.

Sorry to vent on you all so early....I thought the tantrums were done years ago though and it's frustrating to see them back at this age.

**LynnLC** · 11-04-2008, 08:20 AM

I have 10 year old twins and I have noticed the tantrum stage has returned occasionally so I can feel your pain. I have learned the fine art of "tuning out" which at least doesn't send me over the edge. If all else fails - a nice glass of chardonnay works too. lol

**jamie79** · 11-04-2008, 08:29 AM

the tantrum stage is actually a precurser to the tween yrs. Its the hormones shifting already

**VanVivCam** · 11-04-2008, 08:37 AM

that stinks! I hate it when the children ruins a good day! I feel your pain, DD threw a fit yesterday morning before going to school!!! She wanted to wear snow boots (the temps were to be in the 70's yesterday) and i wouldn't let her.

I usually just send DD to her room until she gets over her fits. Then when she can act like a normal person again, I let her rejoin the family!

Good luck and remember to BREATH and Count to 10.

**IntlMom** · 11-04-2008, 09:01 AM

I hear ya loud and clear on that one. My older son will drive the most sane, calm person absolutely crazy!!! Attitude, tamtrums, sulking, you name it. If I didn't learn how to tune it out, I;d be at the funny farm by now.

**always2busy** · 11-13-2008, 12:23 PM

I feel your pain.

DS 14, DD 12, DS 9, and one on the way. I'm so glad they are all in school.

**zakity** · 11-13-2008, 01:04 PM

Oh man... I am right there with you. I have a 12 year old, and two 10 year olds. All three are pubescent. **twitch** All three are boys.

I keep threatening to move out to a nice little pink house with pink lace curtains and flower beds everywhere and a big sign on the door "no boys allowed".

**khjmom** · 11-13-2008, 08:44 PM

My little pink house was my bedroom. I survived the last few years with mulitple teenagers....it was not fun. I started with a teenage dd, with two preteen ds.That moved into three teens...and tantrums, attitudes and whining. Who would have thought teenagers could whine so well? Now that my dd is at college, it is alot better. (She was very dramatic) She now calls me all the time and told me just last week how smart I was...which is funny considering how stupid she thought I was just a year ago. I just learned to go to my room during the dramatic moments and lock the door until I could laugh again. I spent alot of time in my room.

It does get better...

**MomToTwoBoys** · 11-13-2008, 09:58 PM

I think it might be a puberty thing. I know my 8 year old autistic son was going through the worst tantrums. Alot of his were mainly due to his autism and the medication they put him on, since he's prone to throwing a tantrum about everything and can't help it most of the time.

Our 5 year old is going through this horrible tantrum phase now. He comes home, asks for pudding. I tell him no because dinner is soon, he keeps asking. I finally get to where I tell him that if he doesn't put the pudding back, he won't get any for a long time. Today, he slammed the pudding cup into the fridge so I made him go to his room. He came out of the room, said 'Mommy, I know what I did to get put into my room' and I wouldn't let him down until he told me why. He's a smart kid and he knows to fess up when he's done something wrong and the reasons to why he needs to be in his room. He just doesn't understand that no matter how many times you tell him no, he just needs to stop asking.

I completely see how stressed it can make ya, and I'm here if you need some more venting.

**phoeny_moonstar** · 11-27-2008, 05:05 AM

Wow, I am so glad I found this thread! My 8 year old, soon to be 9, DD is driving me nuts with the temper tantrums! Just yesterday she refused to go to school because because I refused to sign off on her homework. The night before she refused to do the homework. It was very infuriating! I just hate to think of the tweens and teens age.

**miss_thrifty** · 11-27-2008, 08:19 AM

i feel for u too. my 12 yr old son is getting nasty at times. cocky is the word.
he seems to love to test the rules more then anyone lately and trying to quickly make more mess and try to hise not put away the laundry . lol
little bugger he makes me angry lol

**chris w** · 11-27-2008, 09:01 AM

My 11 dd is going through this too but I have also noticed that when her behavior starts for the worst I do ask her what has happened at school that day. Usually it is a conflict with someone or a group of people and we talk thru it. But that isn't everytime and yes puberty has started. She now has her first crush on a boy in another class and everyone knows it now due to some other loud mouths in her class.

Hang in there .

**nvmommyx6** · 11-27-2008, 10:24 AM

I feel your pain, We have 7 boy, 9 girl, 12 girl, 13 boy, 14 boy AND OMG there are days I really really wish they had remotes!!!
I'm telling you I live by the points system and rarely have those episodes anymore at all!!!
And one thing I always remind myself while they are going through their "cranial/Rectal inversion" moments is this, " They are destined to see it in their own children later and that is payback enough for me!!!!"