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  1. 12-24-2008, 11:18 AM #1
    Dancing Lotus
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    Default one last MIL rant

    Last time I promise.... but one more gripe about MIL.

    First she told me not asked me when she called to say she was coming for Christmas. This doesn't just include her but the three kids she has custody of and my Bil's girlfriend. Long story I don't want to get into but the girlfriend is living with her.

    Fine , so you are coming. She told me three different times that they would arrive late on Christmas Day. I was happy with that because that meant that I could have a quiet Christmas morning with my family.
    Well guess who just called to say they were almost here and would be arriving tonight!!!!
    I am not prepared for this. I did not plan to have three extra children here on Christmas morning. I do not have stockings for them or any "santa" gifts.
    I know in my heart that mil won't bring anything for them.
    How can I just sit here and smile while those three kids have to watch mine. It's just not fair to those little ones.

    This just falls right into the middle of the JUST PLAIN RUDE category.
    It's a two day drive so you don't think she could have called me yesterday to let me know they left early?
    OF course we had plans tonight and won't even be here to greet them.
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  2. 12-24-2008, 11:21 AM #2
    Greebo
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    At this point you say, "I'm sorry, but we weren't expecting you until tomorrow, we're not prepared for you, and we won't be home. This motel has vacancies, and we'll see you when we expected to see you, tomorrow afternoon."

    The MIL has no boundaries. That doesn't mean you have to allow it.
    If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.

    Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"

    Greebo    (Nerd Spender): Loving and extremely patiently tolerated husband of ceashels.
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  3. 12-24-2008, 11:38 AM #3
    Cricket1
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    Oh Ann. I would speak up. I'm sorry you're going through this, but to run out and buy the 3 extra kids stuff is just too much.
    Mom to two crazy boys
    and wife to Mr. Wonderful

    "A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around." --Carolyn Birmingham
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  4. 12-24-2008, 12:01 PM #4
    Persimmon Lace
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    I totally agree with Greebo. If you need to feel better about the kids could you grab a few dollar store items and call it good? Doggone it!
    Last edited by Persimmon Lace; 12-24-2008 at 12:01 PM.
    The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. -Thomas Jefferson
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  5. 12-24-2008, 12:02 PM #5
    xtena
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    I'm with Greebo, can DH stand up to his mother?

    How old are the three kids? I know money's tight and you shouldn't be expected to run out and get last minute gifts for them. On the other hand, your posts indicate that you are a kind and loving person. If they are there during gift exchange time, you are probably going to feel terrible watching those kids do without. Do your own kids have any toys, games, and books in almost new condition that they would be willing to wrap up and share if you were to talk the situation over with them? Are there are a few extra dollars or spare change you can scrape up for a couple of dollar store items (ugh, I can't believe I'm suggesting that subject-to-recall made in China dollar store crap, but then even 'good' toys are made in China and subject to recall these days..)

    Best of luck and have a fantastic Christmas regardless of what happens.
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  6. 12-24-2008, 12:06 PM #6
    Dancing Lotus
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    Greebo- I kinda do have to allow it because we have to ask her for a big favor so now is not the time to tick her off.

    Cricket- I'm not rushing out to buy anything, I can't afford to and I don't have the time.
    I'm just sad because I know those little kids will be hurt but I can't let it be my problem. If mil doesn't care then I shouldn't , right? But I do. I care a great deal about children and the magic of Christmas. I'm afraid if Santa doesn't bring these kids anything it will ruin the magic for them.
    I can' say I'm surprised, my husband never even got a stocking for Christmas.
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  7. 12-24-2008, 12:10 PM #7
    FrugalMomof3
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    You can let her know when she arrives that it was totally wrong of her to put you on the spot like that. You aren't prepared for 3 more kids and I really dont think you should have to get them anything.

    If worse comes to worse you could stop at the dollar store and get them coloring books, crayons and tiny stuff like that.
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  8. 12-24-2008, 12:16 PM #8
    Parksfamily5
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    I would either have to tell MIL to come in the evening or I would have to at least go to the dollar store or look through my cupboards to put something together for those children. I would not let this happen at my house. If you can't get something for them then I would definitely tell MIL to wait before she comes. I can't imagine the children watching others open presents. I would call MIL and point blank ask her if she has gifts for them to open. If she doesn't then tell her she has to wait to come in the afternoon or evening. This is an extremely bad situation for her to put your family in. Hope everything works out. Hang in there.


    Heidi
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  9. 12-24-2008, 12:20 PM #9
    Greebo
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnnK View Post
    Greebo- I kinda do have to allow it because we have to ask her for a big favor so now is not the time to tick her off.
    I hope the "favor" is worth it then...
    If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.

    Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"

    Greebo    (Nerd Spender): Loving and extremely patiently tolerated husband of ceashels.
     WARNING: Y Chromosome behind the keyboard. Adjust your listening filters appropriately!

    Three     Two mortgages, two one no car loans, one no credit cards, and a partridge in pear tree!
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  10. 12-24-2008, 01:22 PM #10
    phoeny_moonstar
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    I agree with Greebo on this. I do hope the favor is worth her being rude!!
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  11. 12-24-2008, 01:38 PM #11
    Dancing Lotus
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    Thanks guys, I'm just glad to know that I am not the only one who would be upset about this. Sometimes I think I just get too upset about things like this.
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  12. 12-24-2008, 03:02 PM #12
    MommyBliss
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    Hugs to you!
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  13. 12-24-2008, 03:56 PM #13
    QM
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    Don't you love MILs?! They're always just full of wonderful surprises!
    An obstacle is what comes up when you lose sight of your goal.

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  14. 12-24-2008, 04:06 PM #14
    Katybird
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    It is unforgivable for her to bring children and have nothing for them from Santa on Christmas morning. That is her responsibilty, not yours. If she has the funds to make a two day car trip to come to your house, then she should be able to purchase gifts and a Santa gift for the children in her custody. It makes me furious to see adults like your MIL with no regard for the feelings of children
    “Books are the treasured wealth of the world and the fit inheritance of generations and nations.” --Henry David Thoreau



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  15. 12-24-2008, 06:43 PM #15
    cab54
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    Who are the parents of these kids? Do THEY have anything for these kids to open Christmas morning? Was ANYBODY thinking of them?

    This is just unbelieveable.
    ______
    Cheryl

    "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance, but by our disposition." -------Martha Washington
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