Some days families just plain old SUCK.

**mommy4ever** · 12-30-2008, 11:03 AM

So, in October, I told mom that I didn't want to have a houseful this year. Last year I had an extra 6 people stay here for a week. My SIL expected to be waited on hand and foot. Having 8 kids in the house, 3 newly adopted from an orphanage with parents who just wanted a break from them wasn't very fun. I was nanny the whole time.

I told her I was happy to host a family supper or lunch and have a day together, buy having my kids give up their rooms for a week of their vacation was too much. She was fine with that. We had discussed the 27th.

She was to come down end of October to visit. I had planned on taking the day off but couldn't, she was disappointed, then she planned to come over but with no time frame that weekend, and ended up all the kids had sports and we were busy and had to cancel. She's been in a huff ever since.

I have spoken to her once since then. We called on her birthday, she never answered or called back. I have called once a week since, she doesn't call back. We received a package last week from them. But no call.

She didn't send a card for dd5 b'day, didn't call. She always calls.

On Christmas they didn't answer the phone we left a message letting them know the kids want to say Merry Christmas. No call back. My brother didn't call for Christmas. He moved in July, I've had ONE email from him since, and that was because I told him I had a package for the kids. He sent the new address, but no phone number.

I'm sick of the games. I won't play them anymore. I'm sorry I didn't want to have house guests for the 13th year in a row. That I wanted a Christmas morning alone with my kids. I've NEVER had that since having kids.

And it was WONDERFUL! We stayed in PJ's until mid afternoon. We played with new toys, games and gadgets with no worries about a cousin breaking or stealing it(we had issues a few years with that). There was no fighting. It was a nice quiet Christmas. If my parents don't get that. We always had Christmas morning with just our family growing up. I like it. There was company by lunch time, but the morning was always ours.

As to my brother, he needs to stand up to his wife and grow some cahones. She's a control freak and a lazy one. He does everything, house work, cooking, always has. He needs to stand up of he's heading for a heart attack. But that's his problem. He's 43 and can handle it. They haven't even given me the kids b'days, she's such a control freak. Whatever.

I am at the point where I'm not calling, emailing. Heck if we were to move, I wouldn't even bother trying to reach them.

I'm done ranting. I'm just disappointed in them. There are 4 grandkids here that adore them. I have no idea what dad is doing, likely working and not even aware mom is in a snit. But I don't even have his cell phone number

This isn't cool.

**nvmommyx6** · 12-30-2008, 11:48 AM

But on the bright side you had a wonderful Christmas it sounds like!!
I'm sorry your family are being that way!
((HUGS))
Mommy

**mommy4ever** · 12-30-2008, 11:50 AM

My Christmas was wonderful! Just don't get them. ANd really at this point, I'm getting to the point of NOT caring.

**PrairieRose** · 12-30-2008, 12:03 PM

I'd suggest you buy the book 'Boundaries' and read it. Follow the suggestions and then 'let it go'. It's not easy, I work on this with my extended family all.the.time. Seriously.

**LuvMyHubby** · 01-01-2009, 07:20 PM

Hmm, I can't speak about your brother but I wonder if it isn't Christmas that hurt your mom's feeling as when you spoke with her she seemed cool with it, but more that she be upset that there was no time for the planned visit beforehand. Is it possible that she was really looking forward to that visit and having time with you guys? She may simply have thought you were blowing her off on purpose or that you didn't want her to come and spend anytime. Simply put, her feelings may be very hurt and instead of saying outright she is choosing to hold it in a perhaps hold a bit of a grudge or maybe she just needs time to lick her wounds and feels if she says anything it may be the wrong thing.

I've been there. My daughter is growing up and has her own life and while she doesn't have children, we as her parents are at her mercy on when we get to see her and I can tell you a few times she has needed to cancel plans, my feelings were terribly hurt even if I knew in my head that she didn't change them because she didn't want to spend tiem with me.

If this isn't something your mom is prone to doing, maybe just give her some time and see what happens. However, I am glad that you were able to have a quiet Holiday with you children.