Our 5yo needs surgery. :(

**MomToTwoBoys** · 01-07-2009, 02:58 PM

We were sort of hoping he didn't have to go through it, but it's time to make the decision and we've done so. We've been taking him to the eye doctor religiously for the last five years, given that there's a family history of eye problems especially on my side of the family. Today's appointment was the deciding factor behind the surgery. The main problem is that not only is his right eye stronger than the left, but he's leaving one eye stationary and turning the other eye to see. If it's something on the left side, his right eye will stay straight and the left will turn. He's also going cross-eyed with both eyes while wearing the glasses.

The doctor said it'll take an hour and be a day patient procedure. He's going to weaken the muscles on one side of both eyes and then tweak the other muscle to help them both work at the same time in the same direction. He says that most kids his age who get the procedure done don't need corrective surgery until at least their 20s. I had surgery when I was 5 and then again two years ago.

It's so hard to describe surgery to a 5 year old and he gets really scared of something he's unfamiliar with. Any advice to help me explain to him what they're doing?

**madhen** · 01-07-2009, 03:03 PM

I don't have kids, so I guess the only advice I can give is what I did with both my mother and my sister when they went in for operations: just stress the positive and be really upbeat/cheerful about how great it is that everything will be "fixed". Maybe take him to the hospital beforehand to kind of show him around, so it isnt' overwhelming to him when he goes for the surgery. Very tour-guidey approach and almost envious he gets to do such a neat thing. My mother is in her 70's and had her first operation about a year ago, and that is what kept her from getting freaked out. (And she freaks out VERY easily.)

That, and my best wishes to your son!

**Milly** · 01-07-2009, 03:17 PM

My 5yo grand-daughter ended up in Riley Hospital in Indianapolis for surgery on a pierced cornea. Thank heaven they could repair it and she didn't lose the eye.

One thing they did that really helped her emotionally was to give her a 'bedtime buddy', a little stuffed animal that would stay with her during surgery. Of course, they removed it during the surgery itself, but it was given back to her before she woke up in recovery. She still takes it to bed with her two years later.

You might ask the hospital about their protocol on such things.

**MRAHoffman** · 01-07-2009, 03:23 PM

take care and God bless.

**IntlMom** · 01-07-2009, 03:26 PM

btdt...my special needs son has his eye surgery for his "wandering eyes" at age 2.....the surgery was not a problem at all........
hope all goes as well for you as it did for my son.

**Sara Noel** · 01-07-2009, 03:45 PM

No experience with this or advice. Just wanted to say I wish him the speediest of recoveries.

**Starlight9803** · 01-07-2009, 04:03 PM

I'm sure it will be fine. DD had similar surgery for her lazy eye when she was 4. Just warn him that the eye will be sore (like a bruise) and a little scratchy. It helped DD to know what to expect when she woke up from anesthesia. Also after surgery, a cold, wet washcloth pressed to the eye can help relieve some of the itching and burning, at least it did for DD. HTH and good luck.

**YankeeMom** · 01-07-2009, 08:12 PM

I have no advice, really. I just wanted to offer support. I know how scary it is to have your child have to have surgery. My youngest had open heart surgery when he was 6months old. I remember being grateful that he was a baby and wouldn't remember it.

Dh had surgery when he was 5 or 6 and really doesn't remember it either.

**LuvMyHubby** · 01-07-2009, 08:28 PM

I don't have any advice, just offering well wishes and a speedy recovery for your son.

**Michelle** · 01-07-2009, 09:11 PM

I had this surgery when I was ~2 yrs old...and that was 36 yrs ago. It was easy for me then (so I'm told; I don't remember

), and medicine has come a long way since then.

Wishing him an easy surgery and quick recovery. And hugs for you as the Mom who will worry no matter how much reassurance you get. It's what we Moms do best.

**Cricket1** · 01-07-2009, 10:06 PM

Oh, I soooo feel your pain. My youngest son (also 5) will probably have his first surgery this summer (he'll need four total) and I'm nervous already. The hospital that he will be in has a tour they do the day before surgery so they can teach him about the different places he'll be in the hospital and they'll "practice". Maybe your hospital does the same thing?

**Jskell911** · 01-07-2009, 10:24 PM

Oh boy. I am so sorry. My son has had 2 dental surgeries and we were pretty honest as far as preparing him for what he would experience. We told him the doctor would give him some "silly juice" (Apple juice w/ a sedative) and that would make him dizzy and act goofy, he would fall asleep and wake up when everything was all done and we would be right there with him.

He did great with the first one (I freaked because no one told me the anesthesia would cause his heart rate to drop dramatically at first!), the second time he woke up beligerant. SO, you might also want to keep in mind that YOU may need some preperation too.

Good luck! I have a cousin who had the same surgery and his mom said it was really an easy experience.

QM · 01-07-2009, 10:32 PM

(((HUGS))) Last June, our 4 year old daughter needed surgery for her ptosis that she was born with, and she's going to need another surgery (to correct it even more) at any time. (We're on the waiting list.) I know the stress it is bringing your baby to the hospital for a day surgery. Prayers are being sent up as I type.

**writtenonmybody** · 01-07-2009, 10:39 PM

I'm sorry he has to go through this and you too. I had eye surgery when I was younger than 5. Probably around 4 years old. As far as explaining to him what is happening, as you know you'll need to explain to him in his terms for understanding. What I would probably do is explain to him that he will be having surgery and the basics of that. Don't go into to much deal about what it is and so on. He won't understand it. The basics he needs to know.. Eye surgery to help him use his eyes better. What happens (basics) of surgery. You'll go to sleep for a bit (or whatever) doctors will fix your eye. You may be uncomfortable for a couple days but Mommy is here to help you through that. Explain to him your role because most of all he just wants to know he'll be safe and ok. I know you're upset about him having to do this. Kids read their parents better than we think. They know when we're sad, troubled, angry, happy etc. Try to seem positive about this, show him there's nothing to fear and that you will be with him every step of the way. may even go as far as getting him excited about after the surgery.. Ex: When you're feeling better we will _____ insert his favorite thing to do with you and the family. Get him thinking about the future and something to look forward to after.

I wish you and him the best of luck! You're in my thoughts.

**Nishu** · 01-07-2009, 11:08 PM

No advice for you. I just hope the everything goes smoothly for you and for him. I have trouble watching my kids get shots... I can't imagine how tough it must be to explain this to him. Good luck.