Need opinions & advice...

**happimommi** · 01-27-2009, 01:57 PM

Would you be concerned to find out that your 5 yr daughter's new Sunday School teacher is married to a convicted sex offender. (this man was convicted on sexual relations with a child under the age of 13 and served prison time, listed as a sex offender). What would you do? This man attends church with his wife and nobody else seems to have a problem with it. To me, this raises all sorts of red flags. Why put the children in a situation where they may be harmed?

QM · 01-27-2009, 02:17 PM

Is there a Sunday School superintendent who checks in on the classrooms throughout Sunday School? Do the classes keep their doors open or partly open for anybody to peek in?

Just because the Sunday School teacher is married to a convicted sex offender, doesn't make the Sunday School teacher a threat IMO. I would bring up my concerns to the Sunday School superintendent and have him/her follow strict guidelines (doors open, occasional supervision, etc.) I also would NEVER let my daughter go to their house for a visit alone or sleepover, but that's a given I hope for anybody.

Side Note: Our church has to have a fairly current criminal records check on every SS teacher. ...Not their spouses.

**nuisance26** · 01-27-2009, 02:35 PM

~As long as he is not directly involved in the children's programs then he's doing nothing wrong.
Nearly every person that steps into a church has something ugly in their past. The only difference between them and this man is that you know something about his past. You don't know the whole story and you don't know his heart.
Sin is sin regardless of which ones we think are worse. If God has forgiven him than it's up to you to not hold his past against him either. Easier said than done, I know.
A private talk with your pastor may help you sort this out. He and the SS superintendent(if there is one) should be discreetly informed of this man's past so both the kids and the teacher's husband are safe.~

**IntlMom** · 01-27-2009, 02:38 PM

Ok, I'll be the odd "man" out.....no way on the face of God's green earth would I let MY children be in that classroom - that just make all the "mommy hairs" on the back of my neck stand straight up!!

QM · 01-27-2009, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by nuisance26

~As long as he is not directly involved in the children's programs then he's doing nothing wrong.
Nearly every person that steps into a church has something ugly in their past. The only difference between them and this man is that you know something about his past. You don't know the whole story and you don't know his heart.
Sin is sin regardless of which ones we think are worse. If God has forgiven him than it's up to you to not hold his past against him either. Easier said than done, I know.
A private talk with your pastor may help you sort this out. He and the SS superintendent(if there is one) should be discreetly informed of this man's past so both the kids and the teacher's husband are safe.~

I completely agree with everything nuisance26 said. Talking about your concerns privately with your pastor or SS superintendent is a great idea.

I'm sure you'd be very surprised if you knew all the past sins people at church have done. All born again Christians are covered with the blood of the Lamb. I'm not sure if he's saved or not, but if he is he is a new creature (as per the Bible).

**MommyBliss** · 01-27-2009, 03:18 PM

I understand everyone else's points of views, but I wouldn't allow my child to be in that classroom.

**elphie** · 01-27-2009, 03:24 PM

There is a BIG difference between loving someone without judgement and allowing your child to be placed in harms way. I would make it very clear that this man has no business anywhere near the children's classrooms. Of course he should be welcomed into the church, of course he should be treated with respect, but of course he should NOT be trusted with the children. Would you let a convicted embezzeler be the treasurer? Of course not, it isn't about judgement, its about common sense.

**nancycg56** · 01-27-2009, 03:25 PM

He has served prison time for sex with an underage child? No way, no how. Better to be safe than sorry.

I understand everyone else's replies, though. I'm all for second chances but not when small children are involved.

I'd be more apt to let it go IF he didn't attend church, too.

**Momto2Boyz** · 01-27-2009, 03:28 PM

Is he ever in the classroom? Usually, part of probation for sex offenders whose crimes related to children, are that they are not allowed to be near anyone under the age of 18. If he is in the classroom, he could be violating his probation. And more than likely, if he served 13 years, he is probably still on probation.

Having said that, I don't think that she would be a threat, and as long as he is not coming into the classroom or near the kids, I don't see a threat it in. Would I let my child in the class? I honestly don't know. I would speak with the pastor, and just voice your concerns and see what happens. Explain that you are wrestling with it, and looking for guidance and see what his advice is. Either he knows and will preach forgiveness and assure you that he won't be near the children, or you will be informing him of this, and that is a good thing too!

**dcompton** · 01-27-2009, 04:05 PM

He's not the teacher, his wife is. My thought was Momto2boyz'. Why would be even be in the classroom? If he is, he should not be. If he isn't, why be afraid of the wife?

Is his background known in the church? If it is, I would assume that the matter have been weighed. How long have they been married? How long has the wife been a teacher of children in the church? Lots of things could be involved in the decision to let her teach young children.

I agree with someone else - the children should not be invited to the teacher's house, ever, but presumably, a classrrom in a church is a very public venue with lots of people around who would notice is something seems not right.

**Cricket1** · 01-27-2009, 08:32 PM

First, I cannot imagine staying married to a convicted sex offender, but that's not what is up for discussion. If I was in this situation, I really don't think I'd be comfortable doing this. I understand that SHE was not the offender, but I'm just being honest with how I feel.

**Dixie** · 01-27-2009, 10:16 PM

I gotta agree with Intlmom, I wouldn't let my child in that class.
I also agree with Cricket, I could never be married to a sex offender, in the first place. To be honest, I would have to question her (the SS teacher's) judgement, regarding that decision.

QM · 01-27-2009, 10:17 PM

Originally Posted by Momto2Boyz

...Having said that, I don't think that she would be a threat, and as long as he is not coming into the classroom or near the kids, I don't see a threat it in...

I agree. She is not the offender...he is! If he's not going into the classrooms or near the kids, then I too don't see a threat in it. Speaking to your pastor would be a step in the right direction in getting the answers you need, however.

**momof2joys** · 01-28-2009, 12:17 AM

I would for sure talk to the pastor or director of Sunday school, it could be quite possible no else knows of the past of this person!

Although I agree and disagree with everyone here, I don't think that the teacher herself is a threat, but then it makes you question her thought process??!!!

I personally wouldn't let my child back in the classroom until I have talked with the pastor or direct of Sunday school!!

**Bajasarah** · 01-28-2009, 12:27 AM

I understand the concept that she is the teacher, not him so it shouldn't make a difference but for me it is just too much and there is no way I would let my child be in the class. Like someone else mentioned, I would seriously question her judgement because she is married to a child molester - I cannot even wrap my mind around the idea of that being a good choice and would truly see it as a flaw in HER for thinking it would be ok to be with someone like that.