feeling a wee bit sad

[Dutchie]

I'm feeling a wee bit sad this evening.
My middle child is leaving home.
We haven't had an argument or anything like that but he is 21 and has been wanting to branch out on his own for a while.
He has found a great little appartment and will be moving in within about a week.

This is our 3rd child to leave (even though 2nd son may be coming back) and it doesn't get any easier.
I had a lot of trouble getting used to the other 2 leaving but this seems to be more difficult.

I love all of my kids equally but I have always had a special place in my heart for this son. The day after he was born he had to go to hospital because we have rhesus and blood group problems (DH is A+ and I am O-) and therefore he had to go 'under the lamp' for a few days. Ever since then he has been my little baby (he is 6 feet 6 inches LOL).

When he was 13 we discovered that he had epilepsy and we went to h... and back with him but now I can say (I hope with certainty) that that is all behind him. He has been free of meds. for almost 6 months and is doing great. According to his neurologist he has grown out of it (possible with the type that he had).

He is truly very excited and we have worked very hard getting his appartment sorted out and clean.
I am very pleased for him but sad at the same time.

We still have two children at home (with the possibility of son 2 coming home too) but still he will leave an emptiness.

[LastDragonfly]

Aww Dutchie, I feel for ya....I know it's bittersweet, but I'm so happy he's choosing to leave under love instead of frustration and anger..

Don't worry he will miss you, (he wont tell you, but he WILL miss you) I'm sure he is aware of his special bond with you...
Hugs girl

[MommyBliss]

Hugs to you, Dutchie! You just sound like such a wonderful Mom. I know mine didn't miss me when I left.

[mom2matty]

Dutchie!! I'm going to be facing this for the first time in a few months when my oldest (21) moves out and away to do her Masters work in another city! I'm dreading it like crazy!!

[fernykins]

Dutchie it never get easier.. I miss all my kids ad you would think I would like the peace and quite..lol Son #2 just moved out and son #3 moved back home with his family........ Its never easy to let go...... You are a mom and its in our nature to want to hold on to them and keep them safe,,,,,
Fern

[cab54]

Dutchie, I can't believe I didn't see this thread before now.

I have been going through the same thing. When my boys went off to college (about 5 and 7 years ago) I was fairly OK with it. They were having a lot of clashes with their dad, and they seemed to need to be on their own, a little. AND I knew I would see them on holidays most of the time, and part of the summers.

For the last two years, my oldest (now 25) has been out west (we live in Ohio, and Michigan in the summer)in Washington state getting his masters. Now, he got a job in California. I am SOOO glad he got a job in this economy, but now he is permantently 1800-1900 mi away. He won't be home often. We can go out there and visit, but he will have to work.

The younger son (also 6'6" !!) has been in Indiana (not too far away) for 5 years, and now will be in grad school in Florida. So they will both be FAR. Now, I am starting to realize how far away they are---in their lives, AND geographically. I think you'll know what I mean when I say that no matter HOW close we are to sons, it isn't the same as I see the relationships with some of my friends and sisters and their DAUGHTERS. Sons start being their own 'little man' at about 11-12 yrs. old. I know mine love me dearly, but they are MEN, and so they don't want to be too clingy.

Thank God for IM, email, and phones.

[PrairieRose]

It's not an easy thing......I think you are 'normal'. My best advice? Cry when you need to but understand it's natural and has to be. You don't really want them to live at home forever....now do you? Hang in there.... it does get easier and you eventually find things to appreciate about life becoming easier for you...but that stage takes a while to get there.

It'll be ok---

[jamie79]

Those days are coming soon for me. I hope I take it as well as you are

[Debbie-cat]

Oh Dutchie, I am so sorry. I dread the day when my son is going to leave as well.