SAHM getting super depressed

Palooka · 08-01-2009, 06:33 AM

That would be me. My dh works on salary so he is putting in a million hours and so am I. I have lost the desire to cook, put my makeup on, and even clean. etc. The two year old is draining my energy.(not to mention the teen) He is a really good little one, but of course I won't lie that he is going through that stage.

The other night my dh took him outside to play basketball. You should have seen how much I got done in the house and thanked my husband in that short time.

All I want is time to myself and that doesn't mean when he is napping. I want a real freaking day off for at least 8 hours!

Maine Girl · 08-01-2009, 07:00 AM

Do you have a day care you could drop him off for one day a week to give you a break or a play group in your area where you can chat with the other mothers.

Monner 1 · 08-01-2009, 07:14 AM

Oh I remember those days. My oldest just turned 37 the other day and I was thinking about the days that it felt like it would never end. Now 37 years later and I don't know where that time did go. Check in with family and friends or even ask at church just put the word out and use only someone that you totally trust. I was a SAHM in the 70's and lived in a small town and there wasn't the daycare places back then. My sister would watch my son for awhile just enough to give me a break but I had to work around her schedule but when I look back it helped. Best of luck and start taking care of yourself.

Monner

nuisance26 · 08-01-2009, 07:50 AM

~I completely sympathize. I'm getting out of the house for as much of today as I can to get a break from dd. Don't know if it's her sensory-seeking stuff that comes with SPD or the beginnings of ADHD or the age but she's driving me up the wall!
Get a babysitter! You definitely need a day off.~

Karen1 · 08-01-2009, 07:57 AM

My 2 year old went to pre-school at the church. From 9 am to 1.

OH MY ---what a relief.

She learned great things from graet teachers, learned to socialize a bit, made some great kid friends-----and me, those hours were precious.

Drop her off, run to grocery store, run any other errand, home to clean etc. and WHEN it was 1 hour before to pick her up....I stopped. Just laid on the bed, turned on the tv and veggied out. That little one hour stop made my day!!!!

-----that was on a Tues/Wed/Thurs only but it sure helped me big time.

Can't wait til she goes back. She is 4 now and in her last pre-school year. She will go Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs this year. Yippee...another day in there. WEEEEeeeee

YOU ARE TIRED. BONE Tired and it effects you hard. I know, been there.

You need to find some type of support system you can give the young'in too for a bit. Lucky me had Tony's Mom real close down the road. One call for Grandma to take Nicole out to breakfast, she was there in a shot and I had time off...LOL

I am lucky I made it thru easy with people just wanting to pitch in and help.

And honestly, we need a change of scenery and pace. Same old, same old, rushing etc. just doesn't cut it long term. We need variety, diversity, time to get stuff done.

Tony works 12 hr. days. He comes home and plays with Nicole while I get dinner on the table. It frees me up to cook in fast speed without stepping on Nicole in the kitchen and she enjoys Daddy time. Win win for me.

Hope you find something that helps you!!!!!

And finding 8 hrs. off IN A ROW---Hmm...I haven't yet...HA HA HA---let me know if you get that..HA HA

Debbie-cat · 08-01-2009, 08:00 AM

I was in your shoes once too....now I am seeing my son off to live his own life. I wish I was back in your shoes.

frugalwarrior · 08-01-2009, 10:05 AM

My DH has always worked a lot of hours and never had the patience w/ the kids I would have liked anyway.My parents both had heart trouble and health concerns and a 2 year old are a hard combo. I didn't like a daycare so I hired a 14 year old for a mother helper. I left for an hour at a time to hear myself think,go to the park,library,sit in my car,whatever. It's cheap and DD was thrilled to have a "big girls" attention. I don't have a sister or lots of relative who could take her so it was my saving grace.

LeeCee · 08-01-2009, 10:14 AM

my son is grown also debbie cat and I also wish I could go back to those days.it goes by so fast. just enjoy your time with your little one palooka. when they are grown you will wish for that time back everything else is really not important.

ladykemma2 · 08-01-2009, 12:32 PM

vitamins, cod liver oil, A,D,E,C, prenatal vitamins for multi and minerals.

it turns out my exhaustion was due to B-12 anemia, low iron and no vitamin D.

hwmabire3 · 08-01-2009, 06:54 PM

I can definitely sympathize. I only have one kiddo, but she's almost 2 and she drains every ounce of energy in my. And, like you, I don't have any help. Husband doesn't help at all. In fact, his lifestyle hasn't changed at all since our daughter was born.

I dream of nap time, LOL. I let her sleep a couple of hours and during that time I do the cleaning and everything else that needs to be done. I would love to have a day off, too...but that just isn't a possibility for me.

Just think...in a couple of years they'll be in school several hours a day!

bumplett · 08-01-2009, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladykemma2

vitamins, cod liver oil, A,D,E,C, prenatal vitamins for multi and minerals.

it turns out my exhaustion was due to B-12 anemia, low iron and no vitamin D.

this is something to look into -

are you getting your vitamins? are you eating well? can you go to bed a little earlier to get enough rest?

calimomx2 · 08-01-2009, 07:39 PM

It has been a while but I do remember those days and being so exhausted!! I have a good friend whose kids are about the same age as mine so what we did was on Friday (pay day for both of us) after our older kids were in school, on one Friday she would drop her little one off with me and I kept her for the day and the next Friday she would do the same for me. It worked so well for us that we ended up doing it for date nights with our husbands as well!! I was able to grocery shop or clean house or whatever and I got so much done on those days!!

Palooka · 08-03-2009, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hwmabire3

I can definitely sympathize. I only have one kiddo, but she's almost 2 and she drains every ounce of energy in my. And, like you, I don't have any help. Husband doesn't help at all. In fact, his lifestyle hasn't changed at all since our daughter was born.

I can honestly say that my husband's lifestyle hasn't changed one bit either and he was the one that begged for a child. He is a pro bowler on the side and told me the other night that he will be starting another league this fall. Sweet. That means me stuck in the four walls another day.

But then if I complain about it, he just says.."you knew this when you met me." *sigh*

frugalfranny · 08-03-2009, 02:52 AM

I like the trade idea. Do you have a friend that you can 'trade' some sitting time with........that would give you a break and be free. It might even help your little one with someone to play with when you returned the favor.

Hope you find something that will work soon........sounds like you badly need a break. Take care of yourself.......

Iansmommy · 08-03-2009, 11:24 AM

I can relate to how you are feeling. My dh works 24 hour shifts, so I have all 3 of them for 24 hours at a time. My little one is a bit of a handful, he will turn 2 in two weeks. He really tests me most days and I have to watch him at all times. He gets into everything.

I think the vitamin idea is worth trying if you aren't already. I know part of my problem is sleep deprivation (sp). I have a hard time sleeping when dh isn't home.

Hope you start feeling better soon