Any Homeschoolers out there?

**Shelli_wnj** · 08-24-2009, 09:53 AM

I wanted to homeschool so badly this year, but husband doesn't want to. kids start school next week and I am so very scared for them. I want to convince him that we are making the wrong decision, but he won't have it. I would love to hear your homeschooling stories

MY kids are only 4 and 6 (well the little one is 2, but he's not going to school) but preschool and kinder is hard for me to accept! Thanks
Shellie

**nuisance26** · 08-24-2009, 02:15 PM

~I'm homeschooling 'officially' this year. The last two years, I homeschooled with the unschooling method. Just a lot of reading to the kids, playing together and fun, no-pressure learning. Ds spent the last year teaching himself to read and write. He's not fluent or consistent so we're working on that with real curriculum this year. I have no educational objective for dd this year, just fun, learning play.
What are the biggest reasons you want to homeschool? What are the biggest reasons your dh doesn't want to homeschool? Are you scared for your kids for any particular reason?
It took years for me to convince my dh that I was capable of teaching our own children. He was apprehensive with the idea because he was unfamiliar with it.
I suggest you ask your dh to read some books or articles about homeschooling. When you are both informed about the topic you can have a more satisfying discussion about it.~

**MaryCarney** · 08-24-2009, 03:04 PM

We have been homeschooling for 23 years (yikes, that makes me sound old!!!) and wouldn't have it any other way. Our two oldest have graduated from homeschool , gotten in to their first choice of college - one is an RN and the other is an FAA certified aviation mechanic- and lead happy and productive lives. When we first started, I answered the 'what about socialization' question almost hourly, it seemed

What are your husband's objections in particular???

**Shelli_wnj** · 08-24-2009, 04:03 PM

In particular, and in order, the objections are
1. She actually WANTS to go to school, so let her.
2. Are you capable of teaching them everything they need to know AND keep up the house
3. Homeschoolers aren't well adjusted, they NEED to be with other kids their own ages in order to develop properly
and my favorite 4. I went to PS and turned out just FINE.

If you can hear the sarcasm in my voice I am sorry. Our marriage is strained to begin with, and now he is telling me I can't do this either.

**xtena** · 08-24-2009, 04:46 PM

My husband was reluctant too; I think the only reason he finally 'gave in' is that our school district is so horrible and got worse last year. I won't go into details but he finally let me pull her out last year, a few weeks after second grade started. Even now, both he and she make 'noises' about going back to school. He'd actually prefer her to attend elementary school then do homeschooling in the later years as the influences and potential for drugs and violence get worse. But when I remind them of the B.S. we had to put up with and how bored DD would be (she is reading four or five years ahead of grade level and at least one grade ahead in math) they back down.

I don't have the 'answers' but I know from personal experience how the intense desire to homeschool, when one parent doesn't agree, can put pressure on an already strained marriage.

Hasn't he ever read Lord of the Flies? Maybe he needs to reread it. Being around dozens of kids the same age doesn't necessarily help kids develop normally. Schooling American Style is certainly not 'the norm' from an historic perspective. It is a 20th century construct aimed at developing a docile working class.

Clique forming and bullying is getting worse and worse among girls and starting at an ever younger age.

Is the school capable of 'teaching them everything they need to know'? And how does one define 'everything they need to know' anyway?

Have you read homeschooling books? Met other homeschoolers that you can introduce to your DH to prove that their kids are healthy, happy and well socialized?

More questions than answers, I know. Just breathe, if it's only kindergarten I'm sure she'll be fine and maybe you can work on him slowly over the next year or so and convince him that you are more than capable of continuing the education that you have been providing your dear ones since birth.

**Shelli_wnj** · 08-24-2009, 05:34 PM

I wish it was "just kindergarten", but as I taught her kindergarten last year, this is a repeat because the school system deems her "developmentally underage" and thus is making her start at K instead of 1st grade. And here it's up to the school, not the parent. PA has some messed-up schooling and homeschooling laws!
I just want to teach her to get up to speed on reading, learn to write better, stay ahead of the game at math, stay interested in science and ecology.... her interests are at all different levels, and I just know school will stunt growth in some places and make her feel inadequate in others. I need to write this down, there is no way I am going to be able to say it to hubby better than that!

Thanks for helping me "talk it out"

**2ndGenGranola** · 08-24-2009, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by Shelli_wnj

3. Homeschoolers aren't well adjusted, they NEED to be with other kids their own ages in order to develop properly
and my favorite

I'm sorry but I just have to laugh when I hear this one. Just because the word "homeschool" has the word "home" in it doesn't mean the kids are locked up in isolation all day. It only happens that way on TV shows with bad stereotypes. I've actually been considering laptops for the van and joking about internet access for the van. (We use computer curriculum). As it stands now we only "get" to be home on Mondays and that may change if we get into the basketball group.

**Shelli_wnj** · 08-24-2009, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by 2ndGenGranola

I'm sorry but I just have to laugh when I hear this one. Just because the word "homeschool" has the word "home" in it doesn't mean the kids are locked up in isolation all day. It only happens that way on TV shows with bad stereotypes. I've actually been considering laptops for the van and joking about internet access for the van. (We use computer curriculum). As it stands now we only "get" to be home on Mondays and that may change if we get into the basketball group.

That's why its my favorite objection! I really think he was just grabbing at straws here - last year, we did a church group every other tuesday, library group every monday, homeschool co-op every other wednesday - on top of my daughters dr apptments and the fact that she wants to do 4h this year, I doubt we'll ever be home

I love the laptop and sattelite internet for the van idea

**bumplett** · 08-24-2009, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by Shelli_wnj

In particular, and in order, the objections are
1. She actually WANTS to go to school, so let her.
2. Are you capable of teaching them everything they need to know AND keep up the house
3. Homeschoolers aren't well adjusted, they NEED to be with other kids their own ages in order to develop properly
and my favorite 4. I went to PS and turned out just FINE.

If you can hear the sarcasm in my voice I am sorry. Our marriage is strained to begin with, and now he is telling me I can't do this either.

1. I'm sure she "wants" lots of things, but that doesn't mean that it's best for her.

2. Yes, you are. There is plenty of time to "keep up the house" - it just takes organization skills.

3. It's called a play group.

4. throw out the "school isn't what it used to be when you and I were kids"

there - hope that helps.

((but I don't homeschool, I'm just sharing an opinion

**Shelli_wnj** · 08-24-2009, 06:43 PM

Thanks for the support, bumplett!

**Nishu** · 08-24-2009, 10:21 PM

If your oldest is in Kindergarten, you'll have plenty of time to get things done. My 2nd grader typically took less than 2 hours to get her daily work in. I've heard folks say that K is about half an hour a day of sit down, academic work.

This is probably the BEST time to try homeschooling because at this age it's actually pretty hard to screw up their education. You can dance around with your kid and sing songs and then sit and read a few books and call it an education.

Homeschooling appealed to my husband's libertarian ideals, so for us it wasn't even an issue. You just have to find something in it that appeals to your husband.

**zakity** · 08-25-2009, 12:18 AM

1. She actually WANTS to go to school, so let her.
2. Are you capable of teaching them everything they need to know AND keep up the house
3. Homeschoolers aren't well adjusted, they NEED to be with other kids their own ages in order to develop properly
and my favorite
4. I went to PS and turned out just FINE.

1. So, if she wants to jump off a bridge, you should let her to that too? Hey, I bet that she would love to have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. How about that?

2. Yep, I have been doing it for years. I even worked at night and homeschooled and kept the house. You have them help you and call it "Home Ec". They need to learn out to do all that stuff to function in life. My guys all cook, do laundry, and clean and do lots of stuff like that.

3. Too bad you don't live closer. He needs to meet my guys. People always comment about how nice, sweet, and well-mannered my guys are. They are extremely well-adjusted. They actually get ticked at people because people treat them like they are stupid because they are kids.

One of the twins wants to be an Egyptologist and we go to these Egypt talks when they have them. He is 11. He sits through these college/adult level talks. The people are all amazed that he, being only 11 (10 when he started going), that he can sit through these talks for one and understands and "gets" it.

4. Yeah, I went to PS, DH went to PS. I didn't turn out ok and neither did my husband. He has a learning issue that was never caught. I was bored and no one could figure it out. I learned almost nothing from PS. Most of what I learned was from reading books.

Whoever said that the schools aren't what they were are so right on. When I was in school, my class was a large class. There were three classes instead of the usual two for each grade. We had about 25 kids in a class through elementary school. When I went to sign the oldest up for K many years ago, this was spring sign up and he was like the 25th kid in the class. And, they said that he would get another handful (they were guessing about 5) throughout the summer and fall.

All three of my boys are the ones that would need the extra attention for either some learning issues or because they would need extra work. The teachers don't have time for these kids that need extra help. They don't have time to answer questions. And, they only teach to the test now.

Also, homeschool students always test higher than public school students.

My guys are only 13, 11, and 11 and we are talking about getting a SAT practice test and let them take it and see how they would do on it.

**mom2bobsarah** · 08-28-2009, 08:32 AM

I do not currently homeschool because I know I am not organized enough to do it, yet. I hope too in the near future, I just know my limits. My SIL has homeschooled all 5 of her children and they are more well adjusted than most school educated children, they range in age from 10-22. My husbands cousins have also hs all their school aged years, I remember meeting them for the first time, the girls were about 7 and 9 and they were able to carry on educated adult conversations like any other adult, I was amazed. You have to be willing to be able to integrate them with things like sports, play groups, etc. You can google homeschooling and see that there are lots of groups that get together (depending on your area). I know when my nieces and nephews were younger my SIL had groups near her that got together to do field trips and stuff. There are many options, but it is hard to get your DH on board. My SIL also had that problem, for YEARS! She is a strong woman and she HS anyway against her DH's wishes for awhile until he realized that it was much better for them. Good luck to you.

**Maine Girl** · 09-01-2009, 05:48 PM

Shelli,

i hope you get to homeschool your kids and your husband changes his mind. I am not a mom yet but i feel that kids who are homeschooled get a great education and opportunity to learn more from there environment than just books alone.

**joyofsix** · 09-01-2009, 09:09 PM

I just asked my dh why he agreed to HS for my 8 and 5 yo. He said it was when he figured out that the then 2nd grader was getting A's and didn't know his math at all. He didn't cause problems so he just got pushed along and no one realized how lost he was. As for kids their own age, sports, 4-H, church, clubs, scouts. Lots and lots of ways to provide that. My oldest kids do go to PS (their choice) but lots goes on there I do not like. Spend a whole day there and your eyes will be opened wide. (And I live in a small, rural area. My hair curls when I think about a metro area.)