another couple is splitting up in our family

[Dutchie]

I have heard via the family grapevine that dh's brother and psycho's marriage is on the rocks and they will 'probably' be splitting up.
You will maybe think that I shouldn't listen to the grapevine but this source is my mil and she would never, ever say something like this if it weren't true. The reason why she doesn't say 'it is definitely happening' is because she always hopes that maybe things can be worked out.

The really weird thing is that even though I really, really dislike psycho and will be glad to be rid of her in the family (is this good English?), I still feel a little sad but I think it is more the general fact that once again there is a failed marriage in our family (bil's 3rd failed marriage) and once again there will be a child in the middle of things (he already has 2 from his first). They were marrried for 4 years.
We had also heard on the day of our son's wedding (Sept. 12th) that our only niece and her dh are splitting up after only a 5 year marriage.

[Nada.Leona]

They say if you get past the first 9, you get past the "me me me" stage of your marriage and get into the "us us us" stage. The problem is that many couples divorce before year 7, believing that "this isn't working, you're not doing this, I'm not getting this, yadda yadda yadda" and they divorce. Then they get remarried and repeat the process all over again.

Sometimes a marriage just wasn't meant to be. My ex-husband and I were together over 8 years. And it seriously just wasn't working. Nothing about it was remotely right. We've both since remarried and I believe we're both happier for it. My DH is a wonderful, loving, gentle and caring man and I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Doesn't mean he doesn't drive me insane! Doesn't mean he doesn't frustrate me! Doesn't mean he doesn't make me want to pull my already-too-short-hair out!

But if you can get past the first 10 years, the general consensus (by people paid way too much money to think this stuff up) is that your marriage greatly improves as you begin to think in a "we" sense instead of an "I" sense.

*says the lady whose been married all of 19 days.*

[Dutchie]

Originally Posted by Nada.Leona

They say if you get past the first 9, you get past the "me me me" stage of your marriage and get into the "us us us" stage. The problem is that many couples divorce before year 7, believing that "this isn't working, you're not doing this, I'm not getting this, yadda yadda yadda" and they divorce. Then they get remarried and repeat the process all over again.

Sometimes a marriage just wasn't meant to be. My ex-husband and I were together over 8 years. And it seriously just wasn't working. Nothing about it was remotely right. We've both since remarried and I believe we're both happier for it. My DH is a wonderful, loving, gentle and caring man and I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Doesn't mean he doesn't drive me insane! Doesn't mean he doesn't frustrate me! Doesn't mean he doesn't make me want to pull my already-too-short-hair out!

But if you can get past the first 10 years, the general consensus (by people paid way too much money to think this stuff up) is that your marriage greatly improves as you begin to think in a "we" sense instead of an "I" sense.

*says the lady whose been married all of 19 days.*

I was actually the most affected by the separation of our niece and dh since they seemed like such a suited couple - they never argued or were in a bad mood. My sil (niece's mother) told me the main reason for the split and it really breaks my heart.
They both want kids desperately but they can't - he has almost no swimmers, if you KWIM. (I hope that this way of mentioning it doesn't offend anyone but to be quite honest I don't of a better way to put it.)
It seems that a lot had to do with a birth defect and he had surgery to correct as much as possible. However he refuses the follow-up treatment. She doesn't understand why he won't do this for her and thus the strain etc. and the split.
Adoption is not an option since in Holland the maximum age to adopt is 40 and he is 41 (she is 8 years younger).
I feel so intensely sorry for them both since he will not talk about it to anyone (therapy was suggested but he refuses) and therefore she has said that it is over. She won't waste her time - her words.