DD9's teacher called - she is having trouble in school:(

[Daisygirl]

I got a call from the school yesterday. DD9 has had some trouble in school in the past. SHe is a really sweet quiet little girl, and last year we were blessed with a wonderful teacher who realized she was having problems. She is so easily distracted it is unbelievable. She was sent for testing and has CAP (Central Auditory Processing Disorder). She was provided with an FM machine by the school board, is on an IEP, receives scribing help and the teacher is good about keeping her on task.

Fast forward to this year - same teacher, still fabulous. Grandpa died this summer, and I know DD has had a lot of sadness over this, and it may or may not be related. She has taken disorganization to a whole new level. I had hoped that by quitting my job and being home with her more, that she would do better but it seems worse. She has not been turning in her homework, lying about having homework and hiding the notebook that her teacher and I write back and forth to each other in. Sometimes she DOES her homework and then "loses" it. Her room is chaos like you have never seen. I try to stay on top of it, but with a new business, I don't have time to clean it for her every day. We shoveled it out on the weekend and it took the two of us, working steadily , 4 1/2 hours to put it to rights and it still wasn't perfect. Her teacher told me they muck out her desk every day and it is an utter disaster each time.

Let me admit right here, I am not the world's most organized person, I have to write myself notes constantly to keep track of obligations and my house is not the tidiest you ever saw - it is a constant effort to keep organized. I label things like crazy, which helps a lot.

I can't really talk to my X (her dad) about it, as he will just say it is my fault and start the blame game. I have set up a homework area at home and at the store, I look for her organizer (the notebook between her teacher and myself) and I quiz her about homework every day. I don't know what else to do to help her succeed. I think there is something going on with her besides just the CAP.

Does anyone have some thoughts on this?

[ladykemma2]

i am a teacher

i am also an adult ADDer

it helps me to pack my canvas bag with all needed things the night before, including finished "homework" and anything else for the next day and put it by the front door. i pack my lunch the night before and get my clothes ready the night before too.

[ladykemma2]

for ADDers, if she is one, i found the book messies anonymous to be key in figuring out why i couldn't keep up with clutter and cleanliness.

i lack something in my brain that allows me to be organized and i have to treat my 46 year old mind like a 5 year old to do chores - "and NOW we'll clean the living room for five minutes -ready set go, ok?"

for me letting mess pile up causes me to shut down. so the 4.5 hour cleaning marathon that you all did last week wouldn't work.

try this: lets declutter this sqaure meter. then take a break, and then we'll declutter that square meter.

in teacher talk we call this "chunking the work".

[Daisygirl]

Very helpful! Yes the 4 1/2 hour marathon caused multiple whining meltdowns. I'm checking out the link right now. Is ADD related to CAP or is it possible there is more than one issue here?

[ladykemma2]

Very helpful! Yes the 4 1/2 hour marathon caused multiple whining meltdowns. I'm checking out the link right now. Is ADD related to CAP or is it possible there is more than one issue here?

separate issues i think.

her brain is different. mine too.

for example, i had let my car get disgusting gross but didn't have time to deal with it until the thanksgiving break. i went outside to deal with it and immediately got overwhelmed. i had to coach myself adult kim to little kim. it took several hours to psych up.

OK, just get the windex and for today all you have to do is the windows inside and out. tomorrow we'll clean the dashboard and the sticky steering wheel and get the trash and clutter out....

today's chore is to get the little vac and vacuum out just the front seat area...

the trick is to take the ADD and make it your best friend. "i can do ANYTHING for five minutes!"

[nodmicks]

We have had similar problems with our oldest on and off through school (he is a junior). To be honest every time we think we have conquered it it pops up again.

I'm off to read Ladykemmas links.

[ladykemma2]

We have had similar problems with our oldest on and off through school (he is a junior). To be honest every time we think we have conquered it it pops up again.

I'm off to read Ladykemmas links.

it doesn't get conquered, it's like going to AA. have to do it everyday for the rest of your life.

buy the book messies anonyous. sandra's website doesn't give the information that you need.

edit: the book is called The New Messies Manual The Procrastinator's Guide to Good Housekeeping by Sandra Felton

[nodmicks]

it doesn't get conquered, it's like going to AA. have to do it everyday for the rest of your life.

buy the book messies anonyous. sandra's website doesn't give the information that you need.

I'll see if I can snag it through the inner library loan program.

I'm organized, dh is super organized at work (not at home), youngest ds is organized but the oldest is not.

He did much better with 4 years in a Science charter school because so much was on the computer or actually hands on like his dna lab work etc. I am sorry he went back to regular high school this year.

[ladykemma2]

I'll see if I can snag it through the inner library loan program.

I'm organized, dh is super organized at work (not at home), youngest ds is organized but the oldest is not.

He did much better with 4 years in a Science charter school because so much was on the computer or actually hands on like his dna lab work etc. I am sorry he went back to regular high school this year.

ah, he is a science brain like me! does he do well with "hands on" activities. he would make a good chemist or lab technician.

[ladykemma2]

I got a call from the school yesterday. DD9 has had some trouble in school in the past. SHe is a really sweet quiet little girl, and last year we were blessed with a wonderful teacher who realized she was having problems. She is so easily distracted it is unbelievable. She was sent for testing and has CAP (Central Auditory Processing Disorder). She was provided with an FM machine by the school board, is on an IEP, receives scribing help and the teacher is good about keeping her on task.

Fast forward to this year - same teacher, still fabulous. Grandpa died this summer, and I know DD has had a lot of sadness over this, and it may or may not be related. She has taken disorganization to a whole new level. I had hoped that by quitting my job and being home with her more, that she would do better but it seems worse. She has not been turning in her homework, lying about having homework and hiding the notebook that her teacher and I write back and forth to each other in. Sometimes she DOES her homework and then "loses" it. Her room is chaos like you have never seen. I try to stay on top of it, but with a new business, I don't have time to clean it for her every day. We shoveled it out on the weekend and it took the two of us, working steadily , 4 1/2 hours to put it to rights and it still wasn't perfect. Her teacher told me they muck out her desk every day and it is an utter disaster each time.

Let me admit right here, I am not the world's most organized person, I have to write myself notes constantly to keep track of obligations and my house is not the tidiest you ever saw - it is a constant effort to keep organized. I label things like crazy, which helps a lot.

I can't really talk to my X (her dad) about it, as he will just say it is my fault and start the blame game. I have set up a homework area at home and at the store, I look for her organizer (the notebook between her teacher and myself) and I quiz her about homework every day. I don't know what else to do to help her succeed. I think there is something going on with her besides just the CAP.

Does anyone have some thoughts on this?

is she kind of day dreamy, not hyperactive?

[nodmicks]

ah, he is a science brain like me! does he do well with "hands on" activities. he would make a good chemist or lab technician.

He wants to do forensic science. When he went back to regular high school for his junior year (now) the charter school said he needs to come back next year to do his senior year to finish his research because it will majorly help with college.

hummm I wonder if the science brain works with the disorganization? Got a theory. My very organized ds is a math brain.

[Daisygirl]

is she kind of day dreamy, not hyperactive?

Very... I send her up to get dressed in the morning and go up to find her sitting on the floor in her undies, playing Barbies. I ask why she is not getting dressed and she says "I forgot"

Part of this is me - I have been pretty depressed lately with losing dad and have not been wildly energetic myself. My house, while not exactly chaos, is not very well organized right now. I've been working on her room this morning (picture the CDC suit and helmet) and I have been labeling all her storage containers to hopefully make it easier for her to find things without dumping everything out on the floor.

She's normally such a sweet kid but she has been kind of snarly and agitated lately - I know this is stressing her out but she just doesn't know what to do about it. I'm so glad the teacher called!

[ladykemma2]

He wants to do forensic science. When he went back to regular high school for his junior year (now) the charter school said he needs to come back next year to do his senior year to finish his research because it will majorly help with college.

hummm I wonder if the science brain works with the disorganization? Got a theory. My very organized ds is a math brain.

yup, nutty professor?

[IntlMom]

This is an interesting discussion. Karen, sorry you are having to add this stress to your already hectic life. Believe me, I understand.

laddykemma, thanks for the input, your information is GREAT!

My son deals with the hyperactive ADHD (so, by default, the rest of us deal with it also!).

His room, backpack, school area, desk, homework, clothes, area he eats, etc.............they are all a disaster!! Seriously, how messy can one person be???

But, I get it. I get that his brain is different. If it wasn't, the adderall he takes would wire him up, instead of slowing him down. (thank you adderall!)

Anyway, Karen, I'm sorry that you are struggling. You are not alone.

keep your chin up!

[ladykemma2]

Very... I send her up to get dressed in the morning and go up to find her sitting on the floor in her undies, playing Barbies. I ask why she is not getting dressed and she says "I forgot"

She's normally such a sweet kid but she has been kind of snarly and agitated lately - I know this is stressing her out but she just doesn't know what to do about it. I'm so glad the teacher called!

ok, here's what to do. learn all you can about the short attention span brain. get that book i told you about.

don't need a doctor, don't need a diagnosis.

this is going to sound kinda nuts but stay with me. caffeine.

caffeine will create the focus and energy you are looking for. (along with breaking chores or homework into five minute chunks and staying on top of things) . Can you get her to drink a cup of full blown coffee in the morning? or, half a tablet of no-doz. walmart sells a bottle of 90 for 3.99. I'm serious. and then again at 3 in the afternoon when she gets home.

Please give her time to have the caffeine related bowel movement before the bus comes.

you will see a spectacular difference in this child.

I have told some of my trusted adult students 18 year olds to do this, once we were in a trusted relationship or told their parents. remarkable, immediate difference in behavior and grades. and goal setting. such focus.

also cod liver oil capsule and b-complex.

why pay for ritalin when coffee is free?

here comes the thumbs down...