Issues concerning a neighborhood child friend of DS6

**MomToTwoBoys** · 01-12-2010, 11:30 AM

Over the Christmas break, the grandmother of the girl next door passed away. She was the one who stayed at home with the little girl, but now that she's no longer in this world, the little girl next door has no one to watch her in the mornings.

Her parents leave her at home by herself. She's only in second grade.

This morning marks the second morning that she has come over to our house before school to walk with DS6. I don't mind because I'd hate to see her be stuck out in the cold. But that's the issue; the weather has been nice here, but what about when it gets cold again?

I'm concerned for the safety of this girl. She's not old enough to take care of herself, yet her parents let her stay there by herself in the morning. What makes it more sad is that this girl doesn't have a key to her own house in case she gets locked out and there's nowheres for her to be. What happens if there's a fire there and she doesn't know what to do? What happens if she falls or gets hurt in her own home and there's no one to give her medical attention?

I'm about two phone calls away from contacting Child Services, but I don't want to seem like I'm overstepping my bounds. Regardless of how much I hate her parents, I'd hate to see the child be hurt.

**ritabelle** · 01-12-2010, 11:47 AM

I'd have to say something to someone, definitely. Maybe talk to her parents about it? My daughter is in 2nd and she doesn't ever stay by herself. We do talk about "what would you do if?" to teach her what she should do if there's some situation she's not been in before, but that's it.

**YankeeMom** · 01-12-2010, 11:54 AM

Since she's there anyway, why not offer to watch her in the AM before school?

**Greebo** · 01-12-2010, 12:01 PM

I'd talk to the parents first about making a formal arrangement. If they are unresponsive and continue to be neglectful, I'd absolutely call CPS.

**baxjul** · 01-12-2010, 12:01 PM

I would talk to the parents, and offer to watch her in the morning for them. Otherwise, I would definitely call someone. It's for the safety of a child, and if the parents get mad, too bad.

**Josephhgoins** · 01-12-2010, 12:10 PM

I agree, I would offer to let her play with your son in the morning. It may be that the parents have little money and feel they have no choice. I am of course assuming that she is a well mannered child, if she isn't maybe you could help in that department too.

I know they say good fences make great neighbors, but I am of the school of thought that warm hearts goes much further.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 01-12-2010, 12:12 PM

I'll have to get DH to talk to them because I don't get along with the mother at all. I'm not certain what time they leave in the morning. I just know that their main vehicle is gone before I get up and I get up at about 7:30.

What also concerns me is that what happens if I'm not around and this happens? I know that the neighbors on the other side of me leave at about 7:45am and both of their kids go to the same school. Their oldest is 11 and I know that their mom wouldn't leave him alone with his sister and she's 9.

It just makes me sad that they're so neglectful and they've always treated her like she's an inconvenience. This is the same little girl who bullies DS6 when others are around if she doesn't get her way.

**JenMarie** · 01-12-2010, 12:53 PM

I think I'd report them... They are obviously neglectful and since you've had problems with them, helping them would probably blow up in your face at some point.
Six is way too young to be home alone, and probably illegal.

**pollypurebred39** · 01-12-2010, 01:28 PM

Momtotwoboys, This is a wonderful opportunity to show this little one some love and affection. Something she apparently does not get a lot of. Mornings in your loving home could be the one great thing in her life. Something that she'll carry with her and possibly bless others with in her adult years.

You clearly care about her, and that will shine through if you bring her into your home on school mornings. We don't often get opportunities in this life to change someone's world in such a hands on way, often times it's through food pantry donations, or a check slipped in an envelope for a worthy cause. This could be as much of a blessing for you as this precious little one.

**mombottoo** · 01-12-2010, 01:44 PM

Years ago a classmate of my oldest son would show up in the morning at our house before school. I just thought he was coming over to walk with the boys to school, which didn't make sense since he would end up backtracking to get to school. Finally, when asked my son told me he was left alone in the mornings to fend for himself since the sibling who had been responsible for him had moved up a grade which meant going to a different school at a different time.

Long story short, we let the boy come over, fed him breakfast and sent him on his way to school with our boys.

Even if I dislike a child's parents, I'm not going to take my dislike out on the child.

**JenMarie** · 01-12-2010, 02:11 PM

It would be great if you could help out the girl and everything would turn out nice... but ... we don't know these people... you do. What if you are watching the girl and she gets hurt at your house... are they going to sue you?
I have a crazy neighbor who neglects her kids. She had some of their cousins over to play and wasn't supervising. They started throwing rocks at my son. This was eight kids (some older and some younger) ganging up on one from across the street. DS picked up a stick and threw it at them and hit one of the older ones that ended up getting stitches. The next thing I know we are getting hit with a lawsuit. Thank God one of the younger kids fessed up to throwing rocks first and they dropped it. So, I hate to be nasty, but I will not let those kids come over ever again. It's not fair to them, but there is no way I'm taking any chance of having to deal with their mother again.

**shortstack** · 01-12-2010, 02:13 PM

What will they do during the summer? Will she be home all day by herself? The reason I ask this is that something very similar to your story happened here with my neighbors.

**Shelli_wnj** · 01-12-2010, 04:19 PM

I want to say "watch the little girl for them" but others bring up important points as well. Are you going to be watching her all summer long? are you going to have problems with her influencing your son? My advice is to pray on it, talk with your husband about it, then make your decision. But if you don't watch the little girl, then I would call children and youth. Something needs to be done, it just may or may not be you doing the caring.

**AnW819** · 01-12-2010, 07:53 PM

Wow...my brother is in 6th grade and I would never leave him home alone! I would say something to the parents and if it happens again, I would go further. That is so sad

**Lori63** · 01-13-2010, 05:59 AM

Call CPS now. I work in an elementary school with tons of neglected kids, and a paper trail needs to start now.
Maybe they can help them solve the problem-the little girl needs to be taken care of.
Good point about summer.
I totally understand your wanting to help her, but you also don't want to get 'stuck' with another child.
How sad!!!