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  1. 04-03-2010, 10:52 AM #1
    cab54
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    Default Trying to 'bury the hatchet' with my MIL...

    And I'm NOT going to bury it in her head, in case you were wondering! LOL!

    After-----oh------37 years of taking my MIL's crap...er...stuff, I'm working on making nice and turning the other cheek.

    DH and I (on my suggestion) are taking a ham and fixins over there tomorrow (Easter) since she and FIL and BIL are all in wheelchairs and housebound now. MIL can get aorund a little bit, but not far from her oxygen.

    I figure, she's nuts, she's not nice, but she's just a crazy old lady, and it won't hurt me to try...this ONE more time....to bury the hatchet. Wish me luck.

    OH---I have also been doing a lot of favors for her---cutting BIL and FIL's hair, taking her dog to the vet for shots (her dog and me are buds, anyway), and altering clothes, stuff like that. I've turned my cheek so far, my head is spinning like the exorcist.
    ______
    Cheryl

    "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance, but by our disposition." -------Martha Washington
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  2. 04-03-2010, 12:12 PM #2
    Samigirl
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    I wish you loads of luck. After all those years of giving you trouble, I doubt she will change; but at least you are willing to do your part to mend the relationship. How nice of you to take dinner to them. I hope you have a happy Easter!


    How much we enjoy what we have is more important than how much we have. Life is full of people who have more than they know what to do with, but cannot be content. It is the capacity to enjoy life that brings contentment.---Unknown
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  3. 04-03-2010, 12:23 PM #3
    krbshappy71
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    It is good you seem to be realizing that this is for yourself, for your own sanity. Its not about making her happy its about feeling good about who you are as a person. You don't have to accept her crap and be treated badly, but you also don't have to fight back which in the end probably makes you feel worse.

    Some people just suck, its too bad. I have some in my life and I have been making some changes about how I react to them as well. Its so easy to get caught up in their garbage comments and attitude, so easy to let them bring us down. They can only do so if we let them.

    Big hugs to you and I wish you a good day tomorrow. YOU CAN DO THIS.
    LDR , 2 DD (one left the nest, one rarely home) More pets than money. More love than sense.

    "If you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, march down there and light it yourself."

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    2012 Grocery Budget Reduction Challenge- $100 a month. (down from $150) Hm, might be too low.
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    Yah, I suck at this money stuff, I know. That's why I'm here.
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  4. 04-03-2010, 01:56 PM #4
    mauimagic
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    That's my feeling on how others affect us - our reactions are the only thing that we can be in control of!! Congratulations Cab54 - wise decisions on your part - it may take some practice on your part, but it seems if you're already handling it well.

    Please let us know how it goes - and know that we are all cheering you on and are right there behind you!!
    Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.




    “Decluttering isn't just simplifying your life. It's having a vision, setting new priorities and using those notions to get rid of obstacles.”
    — Peter Walsh
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  5. 04-03-2010, 03:53 PM #5
    craftypam
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    You will be rewarded for your kindness.
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  6. 04-03-2010, 10:25 PM #6
    Palooka
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    Good luck and I think it's very nice of you.

    Great post, krbshappy71.
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  7. 04-04-2010, 08:28 AM #7
    Pemberleyan
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    I admire you -- keep it up! I don't think you'll regret this when she's gone.
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  8. 04-04-2010, 10:35 AM #8
    MrsClaus
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    I do things for my MIL and can put on a smile with the best of them if for no other reason than because of her I have DH.

    I know that I can never change her but I can control my reaction and live my life on my terms. I have to live with myself...not her.

    Hope your day goes well. Hugs.
    Lisa
    Wife to Shawn ('88)
    Mom to Megan ('90), Charlie ('02) & Cassie ('05)
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  9. 04-04-2010, 12:13 PM #9
    SimplyPrim
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    That's very nice of you.

    I do feel however, for me at least, I'd have nipped her nastiness in the bud way long before it got to be a major problem. I remember the old adage that people will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Funny how it works, but when they know you won't take their garbage they tend not to try and serve it up in the first place.

    First time mine said something off kilter I had absolutely no problem correcting her in a nice way BUT she got the point that her behavior would not be tolerated- and now she wouldn't dare try it again (and believe you me this woman is nasty to just about everyone to the point that I wonder sometimes how her husband put up with her all those years)
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  10. 04-04-2010, 02:54 PM #10
    mauimagic
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    Cannot wait to hear how the day went!!
    Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.




    “Decluttering isn't just simplifying your life. It's having a vision, setting new priorities and using those notions to get rid of obstacles.”
    — Peter Walsh
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  11. 04-04-2010, 03:22 PM #11
    frugalfranny
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    Best of luck to you cab54!!

    Please keep us posted on how it went and if you made progress.

    K-happy71 --GREAT POST........but sometimes easier said than done.
    Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.

    January Book List
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  12. 04-04-2010, 08:14 PM #12
    Holding Pattern
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    oops, wrong thread. I thought it was Burying the Hatchet IN Your MIL...
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  13. 04-05-2010, 03:03 AM #13
    frugalfranny
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holding Pattern View Post
    oops, wrong thread. I thought it was Burying the Hatchet IN Your MIL...
    YEOW!!! Now hold on girl!! Just calm down......calm down. Take a deep breathe and let's really think this thing through.......
    Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.

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  14. 04-05-2010, 03:19 AM #14
    Palooka
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfranny View Post
    YEOW!!! Now hold on girl!! Just calm down......calm down. Take a deep breathe and let's really think this thing through.......
    I'm pretty sure HP is a guy.
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  15. 04-05-2010, 09:00 AM #15
    Darlene
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    So how's it going?
    If you don't give her the power to make you nutso she can't. Just consider the source and go on with your days being the person you want to be. You want to be positive and happy go for it and if she wants to join you on your journey that's a bonus. Wishing you all well.
    ~*Darlene*~
    Live Well~LaughOften~Love Much

    "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
    Leo Buscaglia

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