*sigh* I'm just not sure where to put this. I don't even know if what we're considering is appropriate. But, here goes:
My inlaws were a one income family. FIL worked, MIL refused unwilling to work. FIL retired 10-12 years ago, far too early for their age and income. But they said they could make it work, so we gave them our blessing.
So, now they've been retired for some time. About 2 months ago, we were driving through town and saw them collecting bottles from the side of the road. Dh called them that night and asked if everything was ok. They assured him that it was and poo pooed his concern.
Three days ago, BIL (DH's brother) stopped by and in conversation mentioned that he's putting MIL and FIL in for fuel assistance, so be prepared for backlash. We said "Is it really that bad?" He said, I was over there and went to wash my hands and the water was cold. Come to find out their hot water heater was on the fritz, so they've been running it for showers and dishes only, then shutting it off.
So, BIL replaced the water heater out of his pocket. While he was there with the plumber, FIL can't get the car to start. Mice had chewed some wires. FIL mentions, "Don't know where we're going to find the money for this" Eventually I guess they found the money, I think they borrowed it from DH's Grandmother, but I can't be sure.
So, it comes down to I think the IL's need a stipend from month to month or need better money management. I can't be sure, I know they are getting probably just above MA poverty level for income, so they don't meet some assistance requirements. I asked BIL if he knew their income and he said "Probably low to mid 20k"
So, we're bridging a bit of a gap this week with an experiment. They are getting a Delivery from Peapod. It's grocery delivery. We ordered them food for healthy and nutritious meals for the next 2 weeks. We're thinking if we can relieve their food budget a bit, they might be able to survive better. We're thinking of doind this bi-weekly. We're hoping they will accept it without too much grumbling. I know if we were to bring groceries by, they would refuse them and be embarrased. However, Peapod is delivering to them as if they've ordered it.
I don't think the IL's would take budgeting advice or let us see their income and expenses. They tend to be of the mindset that children (even adult) are best seen and not heard. I would really like to get into their ledger and see if we can make their dollars stretch, but I don't think that is going to happen.
So, do you have any advice? Do you think what we've done is appropriate? I'm feeling at a loss, we didn't realize things were this bad. Thank you in advance.
My inlaws were a one income family. FIL worked, MIL refused unwilling to work. FIL retired 10-12 years ago, far too early for their age and income. But they said they could make it work, so we gave them our blessing.
So, now they've been retired for some time. About 2 months ago, we were driving through town and saw them collecting bottles from the side of the road. Dh called them that night and asked if everything was ok. They assured him that it was and poo pooed his concern.
Three days ago, BIL (DH's brother) stopped by and in conversation mentioned that he's putting MIL and FIL in for fuel assistance, so be prepared for backlash. We said "Is it really that bad?" He said, I was over there and went to wash my hands and the water was cold. Come to find out their hot water heater was on the fritz, so they've been running it for showers and dishes only, then shutting it off.
So, BIL replaced the water heater out of his pocket. While he was there with the plumber, FIL can't get the car to start. Mice had chewed some wires. FIL mentions, "Don't know where we're going to find the money for this" Eventually I guess they found the money, I think they borrowed it from DH's Grandmother, but I can't be sure.
So, it comes down to I think the IL's need a stipend from month to month or need better money management. I can't be sure, I know they are getting probably just above MA poverty level for income, so they don't meet some assistance requirements. I asked BIL if he knew their income and he said "Probably low to mid 20k"
So, we're bridging a bit of a gap this week with an experiment. They are getting a Delivery from Peapod. It's grocery delivery. We ordered them food for healthy and nutritious meals for the next 2 weeks. We're thinking if we can relieve their food budget a bit, they might be able to survive better. We're thinking of doind this bi-weekly. We're hoping they will accept it without too much grumbling. I know if we were to bring groceries by, they would refuse them and be embarrased. However, Peapod is delivering to them as if they've ordered it.
I don't think the IL's would take budgeting advice or let us see their income and expenses. They tend to be of the mindset that children (even adult) are best seen and not heard. I would really like to get into their ledger and see if we can make their dollars stretch, but I don't think that is going to happen.
So, do you have any advice? Do you think what we've done is appropriate? I'm feeling at a loss, we didn't realize things were this bad. Thank you in advance.