Do you spank your child?

**celina** · 08-30-2010, 10:04 AM

i try very hard to NOT JUDGE OTHER PARENTS and the methods they choose...

yes i've spanked....but i get more grief for time outs in public places that anything else.....we all need to let parents be parents without fear and maybe then we'll be disciplining our kids instead of letting a bunch run wild

**Inkstain82** · 08-30-2010, 10:35 AM

I was spanked as a kid until I was old enough to understand other forms of punishment. I don't have a problem with it if anyone chooses that route.

But so far, we've stuck with our choice to not spank or hit our one-year-old. Though he makes it tempting.

**cab54** · 09-01-2010, 02:51 PM

Not anymore, they're a lot bigger than me. LOL.

But I did when they were kids. It had to be under the following 'guidelines' for me:

Not until they were about two, or could understand what they were doing.

ONLY on the bottom.

NOT when I'm angry/upset/frustrated/whatever.

For REAL 'infractions' of the rules. Rules being something they've been made aware of beforehand. (if you do that again, Johnny, you'll get a spanking!) And yes, a 2 year old can know what you mean.

In order to get them to STAY in the time out chair/corner.

In order to keep them from running in the street/out in traffic/playing with fire/ touching the stove/ tormenting the neighbor's mean dog/ or doing anything else that's dangerous and they're testing you with....

That said....I can count the number of times I had to spank each of my two boys---- on one hand. OK, maybe the older one would take two hands, LOL....he was a real little stinker.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 09-01-2010, 03:20 PM

I also don't believe that spanking your child leads to aggression issues at an older age. Case in point:

I was punished a lot as a kid. I did things like cussing, talking back to my parents, etc and I grew up in a VERY strict household. If I cussed, I got a bar of soap in the mouth. If I talked back to my parents or fought with my siblings, I got a swat on the rear hard enough to leave red marks. It wasn't just by hand, either. It was by hand, tree limb, paddle, wooden spoon, etc.

Fast forward to being 32 and I have anxiety issues, which are fueled in part by how my kids behave. I used to spank them, but I found out that didn't do anything. There are some days where my kids act the same no matter what. The other day when we were in Ikea, DS6 had a meltdown over a smoothie. DH tried the sweet talk route, which didn't work. I took the more disciplinary route and left without the smoothie, which worked.

I will say this:

I do not advocate spanking these days. People are always in an uproar over what you do and parenting is a lot more scrutinized by others than it was 30 years ago. It all depends on the child. One form of punishment doesn't work for every one of them.

I've known people to be raised in a household where spanking was the norm and they work really hard to make sure that that isn't the norm for their own children.

**Telephus44** · 09-01-2010, 03:58 PM

We use it rarely, and only when it's an extreme safety issue (running into the street, about to touch the hot stove, etc.) or when a time-out doesn't work (we try that first). I can't count the number of times we've done it, but maybe once every 3 or 4 months. The time-outs actually seem to be more effective now that he's older (and he's about to turn 4).

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 09-01-2010, 04:45 PM

I absolutely spank. Not often and not a beating that's for sure but a swat on the butt is a discipline technique I won't hesitate to use. My daughter will also back talk and cuss and I do swat on the mouth. My mother used to make you sit with soap in your mouth and my dad used to belt spank. I turned out just fine. Thankfully around here everyone I know spanks. If your kid acts up and you don't spank her, someone else just might at any store around here.

**Keildra** · 09-01-2010, 05:15 PM

To each parent their own, and I agree that every child is different. Sometimes spankings are necessary, not spankings out of anger but spankings out of love. I think if my daughter ever does anything that needs a spanking I will spank her on her bottom only and explain what it was for.

One thing I don't agree with is certain counties and states have made it illegal for parents to discipline in public. I don't understand that because I do not believe a 2yo will understand why their getting punished at the end of the day for something they did that morning.

**Bobby Rodgers** · 09-01-2010, 06:54 PM

Very rarely but yes I have before when the situation warrants it. The important thing is to not do it as a reflex. That doesn't really teach anything. And whenever I did do it I explained why I did it. Luckily when they were very young they were angels. Weird lol.

**brennasmom** · 09-01-2010, 08:03 PM

Never. Never would.

**lisaflex** · 09-01-2010, 08:22 PM

no, no, and no....won't happen in our house.

why not take away computer time? daily tv time? lots of other ways to discipline imo

**PinkTulip** · 09-01-2010, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by MomToTwoBoys

I also don't believe that spanking your child leads to aggression issues at an older age. Case in point:

I was punished a lot as a kid. I did things like cussing, talking back to my parents, etc and I grew up in a VERY strict household. If I cussed, I got a bar of soap in the mouth. If I talked back to my parents or fought with my siblings, I got a swat on the rear hard enough to leave red marks. It wasn't just by hand, either. It was by hand, tree limb, paddle, wooden spoon, etc.

Fast forward to being 32 and I have anxiety issues, which are fueled in part by how my kids behave. I used to spank them, but I found out that didn't do anything. There are some days where my kids act the same no matter what. The other day when we were in Ikea, DS6 had a meltdown over a smoothie. DH tried the sweet talk route, which didn't work. I took the more disciplinary route and left without the smoothie, which worked.

I will say this:

I do not advocate spanking these days. People are always in an uproar over what you do and parenting is a lot more scrutinized by others than it was 30 years ago. It all depends on the child. One form of punishment doesn't work for every one of them.

I've known people to be raised in a household where spanking was the norm and they work really hard to make sure that that isn't the norm for their own children.

This was pretty much my childhood except my mother did a whole lot of yelling along with hitting, spanking, hair pulling, etc. I will say that is was not a happy household. When I turned 14 I started hitting back...enough said. It took me many years to speak to my mom after I left home at 18. I just really do not want our house to be like this...

Anyhow we do talk now a lot and I have no hard feelings.

**Persimmon Lace** · 09-01-2010, 11:19 PM

That's not spanking. Spanking is on the bottom. The other is just smacking.

**ansley** · 09-03-2010, 09:47 PM

I feel it depends on the DC. When I was a kid I didn't care if I was grounded, went without supper or etc. I did care if my dad took his belt off.

I have 1 DC that I can talk to, 1 that I have to take his games away and 1 that nothing gets his attention but a belt. I can swat him on the bottom and he will tell me it didn't hurt. I can take things away and he will just find something else. I can't send him to his room because that would not be a punishment. My mom says he is just like me.