what in God's name makes people think it's okay to be so rude?!?!

**shoiji** · 10-27-2010, 07:12 PM

I also can't help but think that reality tv doesn't help the situation. Seeing people just blab away not caring about consequences makes people think they can say whatever they want.

The other day I was trying to get off the bus. The bus actually came to a stop. Two women in front of me get up like they are leaving and blocked my way because they were asking the bus driver questions. I said excuse me I am trying to get off the bus. The lady say oh ok. They she gets all indignet and tells me I should have gotten off the bus from the rear. Apparently she had to look like she did nothing wrong and I was all at fault. I could have just walked away but I said What ever, give me a break.

**Keildra** · 10-27-2010, 09:15 PM

I've been told that I must be over feeding my baby because she's only two months wearing 6 month sizes. but she was born big, it's just a thing that's going to happen no matter what your baby looks like.

**Dutchie** · 10-28-2010, 05:23 AM

I think it must be a North American thing since although I had 'different sized' children, I never, ever was approached by anyone asking impolite questions.
I have also never heard of this happening here at all.

How dare these people be so impolite???

My son was in the top 5 percentile regards height and weight since birth.
I am 5' 4" and he is now 6'6".
Our daughter was extremely small (can't remember the exact percentages). She stayed that way till she was around 13 till she 'blossomed' (as my mil calls it).
She is now 19 years old and is 5'8' and a normal weight.

**cab54** · 11-03-2010, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by freebs

LOL god, makes, people , rude....lol. I understand when my dd was 3 i would have people argue that she was only 1.5-2. When my dd was still an infant, she started crying when i was in a check outline and was in the process of checking out, the checker said"I could never handle that i would have to put it in front of a train or something"

Whoa! That was----I don't even know what to say.

I had the same problem with my BIG babies. I am 5'2", but was a gestational diabetic and had almost 10 pounders. I got things like, "Boy, he's gonna be a porker, isn't he?" (about an infant that wasn't at all fat). He is 6'6" now, and slim. His Dad's side are all tall/big people. When people see me now, next to my Taaaalll son, they laugh and say 'SHE'S your MOM?' We laugh now.

People are just jerks sometimes.

**getforfree** · 11-03-2010, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by Keildra

I've been told that I must be over feeding my baby because she's only two months wearing 6 month sizes. but she was born big, it's just a thing that's going to happen no matter what your baby looks like.

My 3rd baby was growing really fast for about 8 first weeks and gotten very chubby. Even though she was average size 7lbs 15 oz at birth, she was also wearing 6m clothes at 6 weeks. I was brestfeeding her as much as she wanted. My MIL was saying that I am making her fat. How can you say that about your own grandbaby? I was got so upset and tried to feed her less, but she would scream if I don't giver her milk. Now she is 14 mo, wearing 2T clothes but she is kinda skinny and I am still brestfeeding her and she is a very happy baby.

**valerian** · 11-03-2010, 01:11 PM

I feel for you...two of my boys are small for their ages. My 12-year-old is finally getting taller and his feet are getting big, but he's so skinny I can count his ribs. He was my smallest at birth at 7 lbs. 6 ozs. He finally wears a size 12. My youngest is nine and has always been so small. He wears a size 7 finally! I thought he'd never get there. A while back, he was so small that all of the older girls at school wanted to carry him around like a baby in their arms and his teacher finally had to tell them to stop; that he wasn't a baby. He was the smallest in his class and looked like he was four or five up until he was seven. People always think he's much younger than he is. My dh is 5'6" and I'm 5'5" and we're both thin. Our oldest..now that's another story...he's over 6 ft. and still growing! He takes after my dh's Dad and brother and my brother and uncles. They were/are all tall.

**mom2three** · 11-04-2010, 09:52 AM

From another perspective. I am of various sized children. If I see a small child, I might ask if they have always been small. My 4 year old has always tracked around 10%ile and appears to be like her father's family (nan is 4'11", aunt is 5'1"). My6year old was taller and lost both height and weight due to celiac disease. If I notice other issues (bloated tummy,bad teeth, runny nose, etc.) I might ask if there is a family history of celiac/autoimmune disease or if they have issues sleeping because that is my experience. Some people are concerned, some are just rude. I tend not to comment if I see a large child as there are several in the family and small or large, I tend to look at how a child is acting developmentally, not size.

**McD** · 11-04-2010, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by mom2three

From another perspective. I am of various sized children. If I see a small child, I might ask if they have always been small. My 4 year old has always tracked around 10%ile and appears to be like her father's family (nan is 4'11", aunt is 5'1"). My6year old was taller and lost both height and weight due to celiac disease. If I notice other issues (bloated tummy,bad teeth, runny nose, etc.) I might ask if there is a family history of celiac/autoimmune disease or if they have issues sleeping because that is my experience. Some people are concerned, some are just rude. I tend not to comment if I see a large child as there are several in the family and small or large, I tend to look at how a child is acting developmentally, not size.

I'm sure you mean well, but if some random stranger in a public place started asked me about my child's sleeping pattern, I'd be weirded out. Way weirded out.

**farmgirl_82** · 11-04-2010, 12:13 PM

My husband used to get these comments all the time. He graduated high school at 5'3" and 103 lbs. His junior yearbook photo he looks like he is 7 years old - he was 16. No joke. Once he went to college, he grew 6" and gained some weight. Now at 34, he still looks younger than everyone in his graduating class.

Currently, our DS is on track to be as small as he was during his school years. The doctor's kept telling me that DS was mal-nourished, but they never saw him eat - he eats everything in his path. I just had to tell the doctor that it's genetics and to back off.

**Rhayne** · 11-04-2010, 12:39 PM

I was born almost 2 months early and have always been small. I'm sure my mom got a lot of those dumb comments too. I'm only 5 foot 1 inch. I remember in school when they'd line us up for class pics, they'd lines us from shortest to tallest and i was always first or second in line.

**nuisance26** · 11-04-2010, 12:49 PM

~My babies were all overdue and grew fast their first 6 months staying in the 75-90th percentile. They then slowed to a crawl which did concern their doctors. They finished their first year in the 5-7th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I got a lot of comments about them being big babies and then later on they were mistaken for much younger. It's like a previous poster said, genetics.
I haven't gotten comments as rude as I've seen here though. I hate feeling like I have to explain why my kids are so petite.~

**mom2three** · 11-04-2010, 03:09 PM

I would not ask without putting it in context i.e. I had a really small child, she was ill, and didn't sleep well until she was 3 1/2. I would never just blurt things out. Generally my kids are with me and people make positive comments.

**mndtrp** · 11-05-2010, 12:39 PM

I've never been one to make unsolicited comments about anyone's child, from pregnancy on up. It doesn't seem like the benefits outweigh the consequences.

"Oh, you're pregnant!"
"No, I'm not, jerk." *slap*

"Your son is kind of big, stop feeding him chocolate covered chips."
"His father is 6'6", 240 lbs. He'll be stopping by your house later."

"Your daughter was looking good on that Girls Gone Wild commercial."
"I'm going to kill you now."

**kita** · 11-06-2010, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by mndtrp

"Your daughter was looking good on that Girls Gone Wild commercial."
"I'm going to kill you now."

I have a friend who is a pastor who changed churches and was caught in a dilemma. One of the older youths was chatting up his eleven-year-old (but looked seventeen) daughter. He didn't want to create a stir because nothing untoward had happened. The young man hadn't asked her out but the pastor was pretty sure that was his intention. So the pastor broke one of his cardinal rules and gushed about his family in his introduction to the church. He managed to insert into the three paragraphs that his daughter was ELEVEN about four times. No more problems after that.