what in God's name makes people think it's okay to be so rude?!?!

**kellydoeshair** · 10-25-2010, 01:00 PM

dd is now 18 months and admittedly she is smaller than average
she is in the 20th percentile in height and not really on the weight curve anymore, although she is close!
when people see her out and about they are amazed at her because they think she is 12ish months but when I tell them how old she is they ask me what is wrong with her
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!
what in the WORLD makes people think it's okay to say things like that?
granted at this point it is just upsetting to me, but she is SOOO aware of everything everyone says soon she is going to understand what they are saying
and she will also understand if I end up kicking someone in the shin...
arg
sry
/rant....

**druthb00** · 10-25-2010, 01:09 PM

See, me being my smart mouthed self....would want to say something along the lines of, "Well currently, nothing. But I wonder what will happen if other people's bad manners start to rub off on her."

**shoiji** · 10-25-2010, 01:09 PM

Just tell them she is petite like mommy. That ought to shut them up.

**imagine** · 10-25-2010, 01:13 PM

My daughter was/is in the lower percentiles
I remember what you are going through.

She is in fourth grade and even people that know us time to time think she is younger than she is. Most days she doesn't catch on that others think she is younger than she just take their compliments on how smart she is. LOL

She only catches on when some one says When you are in X grade.

Example: "Yes it will be fun to start orchestra when you are in the fourth grade. I bet you are looking forward to that day." To which she replies "I am in fourth grade Started playing my violin a few weeks ago and yes it is fun" She thinks it is silly that they get it wrong and think she is younger than she is.

It obviously bothers me more than it does her.

**TheresaRHPS** · 10-25-2010, 01:14 PM

Aww...I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I too, have a little one, lol.

My son is 13 months old, and is below the 5th percentile. We've spent the last few months going through tons of tests...from celiac disease to cystic fibrosis to everything in between. It appears he's just gonna be little. He was born almost 2 months early and his father's side of the family is filled with small people.

We've had some strange commentary but, luckily no one has ever asked what was wrong with him, because I would surely have replied in a not-so-nice manner. However, it still feels kinda bad when people just assume he's around 7-8 months old, lol. People are always amazed at how many teeth he has, his ability to walk, his vocabulary, or why in the world I'd be giving him table food and whole milk at "his age." I try to politely explain that he's older than he looks, lol. Most of the time they ask if he was a preemie, and I answer yes, and leave it at that.

**kellydoeshair** · 10-25-2010, 01:15 PM

awww thanks guys!
and I TOTALLY love the thing about other peoples bad manners! bwahahaha *evil face*

**kellydoeshair** · 10-25-2010, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by TheresaRHPS

Aww...I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I too, have a little one, lol.

My son is 13 months old, and is below the 5th percentile. We've spent the last few months going through tons of tests...from celiac disease to cystic fibrosis to everything in between. It appears he's just gonna be little. He was born almost 2 months early and his father's side of the family is filled with small people.

We've had some strange commentary but, luckily no one has ever asked what was wrong with him, because I would surely have replied in a not-so-nice manner. However, it still feels kinda bad when people just assume he's around 7-8 months old, lol. People are always amazed at how many teeth he has, his ability to walk, his vocabulary, or why in the world I'd be giving him table food and whole milk at "his age." I try to politely explain that he's older than he looks, lol. Most of the time they ask if he was a preemie, and I answer yes, and leave it at that.

ack dd was four weeks early too so I usually just tell them she was early and they go on their way :-/ I feel you though
dd has a gagillion teeth okay 14 teeth but still lol people go wack when they see inside her mouth

**sjohnson3278** · 10-25-2010, 01:30 PM

My protective mommy instincts would have replied "what is wrong with you" however that would be as rude as them. I'm sorry you have to go through that. I don't understand why people must always think something is automatically wrong if it isn't their idea of what is "normal".

**Greebo** · 10-25-2010, 01:52 PM

Are they actually asking, "What's wrong with her?" or are they asking "Is there something wrong with her?"

Just wondering...

**mommy4ever** · 10-25-2010, 01:57 PM

Sorry to hear that people are so blatantly rude

there is no excuse for it. I get it too. I was once out with my 2 girls and my adoptive niece who is Filipino, and was asked if she was from a new marriage.

I told them no, my husband was ok with it..lol.

Like really, what if it was simply a friend of the family?

Have a few retorts or sugary sweet replies for these people. If nothing else you'll feel better for it to quiet them down.

**Momto5RN** · 10-25-2010, 02:06 PM

my youngest dd didnt even hit the curve at the 5% range until she was 6 yo.
when people woudl ask how old she was i just told then and added that she is teeny like i was- it intercepts the stupidity

**McD** · 10-25-2010, 02:08 PM

Been there, done that, going through round two that.

I made small babies with big beautiful bald heads. Wesley was always in the 10-15th percentile for height/weight and then his head was in the 90th percentile. Maggie is in the 10th-15th percentile for height/weight and her big old head is in the 98th ppercentile.

I have had people make comments on their size a lot. Typically, I just say, "Yes, she's petite or he's a little smaller than a lot of kids his age but he's fiesty enough to make up for it."

If people keep pushing it, I say, "Well neither my husband or I are very big people."

If they continue pushing the issue (as in telling me I need to start feeding them better like some 50ish year old bat in the grocery store did), I thank them (ever so sweetly of course) for their advice, but explain to them that as their doctor has deemed them to be healthy as horses, I would prefer not to make any changes to their diet without consulting a medical professional.

And let me just say, that as someone who is only 4'10 1/2, the comments NEVER stop. I have been asked why I'm so short, did I know I was so short, was I malnourished as a child, do I have spina bifidia, etc. etc. etc.

(had to edit the height. I was rounding....

)

**Missy** · 10-25-2010, 02:09 PM

i got that my whole life. I only missed out on being labled with dwarfism by two (ish) inches. Talk about a tough road. I got by from knowing that my momma loved me and that I was pretty good at other things that my height didn't become an issue.

( I did have other skeletal and muscular issues as well)

It probably bothers you more than it does her. I now it did my mother. But I learned to cope, make friend with people who lov(ed) me, and grew up with very few scars from it all.

**zakity** · 10-25-2010, 04:33 PM

**snort** Try having twins... You would be amazed at people's audacity.

And, having a larger child, well, you still get "stupid people" comments. The oldest is 14 (15 in February) and I have been getting the "when is he getting his license" question for two years now. I am 5'4", DH is 5'7", Beakerbutt is 5'11" (the last time we measured him). I get lovely comments about his height too. I am tempted to tell people that I had an affair with a basket ball player and to please not tell my husband.

When Beak was 2, he was in size four clothes. Everyone always thought he was a bratty child because he was acting like a 2 yr old and they thought that he should be older.

I used to get that with one of my nephews also. He was a large kid too. He and I were at the mall one day when he was three and he was throwing a fit, one of those huge "lay on the ground and flail around and whine" type. I had so many people comment that he was way too old to be acting like that and that I was a bad parent. I was like, "he is 3 and I'm auntie, not mom". Then, of course, you get the comments about how large are the parents since he is so big and such. I always loved how it immediately went from "you are a bad parent" to "how great of you to give his mom a break".

I have determined that the general public are idiots. I also figured out some not-so-nice comments to make back to them when they asked stupid questions. I even taught my twins to tell people they were dizygotic. People shut up really fast when a kid says a word that is over their heads.

Side note:
Dizygotic = fraternal = two separate eggs that were fertilized near the same time.
Monozygotic = identical = one eggs that splits into two babies.

**Inkstain82** · 10-25-2010, 04:38 PM

Look at it this way: If everyone around us is doing things so obliviously that horrify us, we are probably doing stuff to them and not realizing it as well