ADULT CONTENT!! marriage question

lucy979 · 12-12-2002, 06:23 AM

Ok, this question is very personal. My Dh and I have been married for almost 5 years but we have been together since we were 11 and 13. Now my question is how do you keep your sex lives 'fresh'? I feel like we are in a rut. I miss those passionate days (I know this is bad) before we were married.

Now we just say 'Let's go have sex' and we do. No teasing beforehand, no kissing well, not much anyway. I just miss all the excitement from before. How can I get that back for us?

Um, thanks guys. I know this is really personal.

dz_blonde_girl · 12-12-2002, 06:58 AM

Someone posted this site a while back. Maybe there is something that will help. I think that is a common problem.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/

tigo · 12-12-2002, 04:35 PM

We try to do a lot of things that may not seem linked to sex, but they are. We hold hands, snuggle, slow dance (even in the supermarket to the cheesy music), kiss, and call each other throughout the day for no real reason. Getting in tons of touches and loving gestures keeps the home fires stoked.

We also spend time alone from each other and the kids so we can grow as people. If we did everything together, what would be new and exciting to discuss with the other?

kimbee · 12-12-2002, 04:47 PM

My husband and I have been together for 13 years also and I know how you feel. We really try to spend time alone and DATE each other. The dates don't have to cost much, or anything for that matter. It usually helps us.

tunasalad · 12-12-2002, 05:19 PM

Married 30 years here. Date.....date.....date.....date. Do fun stuff. Go places. Make a lot of memories. Eat Cinna-buns and spend the night at the Holidome.

mylittle4 · 12-12-2002, 05:55 PM

I am blunt, but I do not mean to offend anyone. I saw watch some porn.

mommy2three · 12-12-2002, 06:06 PM

i know how you feel. we have been married for 5 1/2 years and are going through the same thing!

we never do the little things anymore. i was reading one of the articles at that site posted above and it made me cry. i think we really need to work on our relationship too!

aylasmommy · 12-12-2002, 06:42 PM

well i'm glad i sent my answer via PM

But I'll give my two cents here too for the others that say they have the same problem..

basically don't be afraid to get uninhibited with each other, try new things, be spontanious, get creative with your foreplay, sex doesn't always have to be at night, or always in the bedroom either, ice cubes are always fun...whipcream..chocolate sryup cherries...and not in a bowl!

set aside time for yourself to relax and unwind...so that you are relaxed and can put more energy into you and him. Pamper yourself in at least one way each day, pamper him in the small ways that tells him you really care (making him a treat when he gets home, doing that one thing you hate to do without nagging about it, etc..)

if you don't have a kama sutra book (i hope thats the right name) try getting one of those..

sensual massages are always good

If you have one near by, go to an adult store, wrap what you get, and surprise him one night

If it's a lack of communication that needs solved, get you guys some time alone without the tv or computer first..take a walk, or a long drive ...those are the things that help my dh and i since we are sort of forced to talk about something that's on our minds, and not just commenting on whats on tv etc..

Spoon feed him!

Unbutton a couple more buttons on your shirt than you normally do (when he's around)

Get some form fitting shirts/sweaters that are lowcut,(not slutty but just enough to entice) to wear when he gets home..
I only say that because I know i've heard a few ladies say they just wear just t shirts all the time, so maybe this could spice some things up (if it applies to you of course , but think about it, would you wear t shirt/sweatshirt and sweats on your first date with your dh?)

I wish you ladies the best of luck

Hopefully one thing I said might help a little, and i really hope i didn't offend anyone, that is not my intention at all

mommy2three · 12-12-2002, 06:50 PM

thanks aylasmommy! you really have some good tips!!

Phaedrae · 12-12-2002, 08:04 PM

Try the 101 Nights of GRRRREAT Sex: secret sealed seductions for fun-loving couples available thru BN.com

MANDERS · 12-13-2002, 01:18 AM

Thank you heather,i think we all needed that.Sometimes we say oh he's not romantic blah blah blah blah,but sometimes the truth is neither are we,we have different lives then we did when we were dating and so our sex lives are different,but if we want the change we are the ones who have to make the change.Trust me girls there just happy with just getting it.Does the phrase "ya wanna do it" sound familiar?Well if it does atleast i'm not alone.GUess i need to relive my dreams i have in reality.

lucy979 · 12-13-2002, 02:51 AM

Thanks guys! Those are all great suggestions! I just might ahve to try some of those this weekend!