Cute tribute to mothers.

[frugalfranny]

Got this in an email and thought it was really cute......I probably heard them all.......and said some of them myself!!


I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet.."

3 My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15.. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:


25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[Palooka]

Ha! Too funny. Thanks for that.

[pollypurebred39]

Funny!!! Thanks!

[fernykins]

Yep my mother use to say some of them to my sibling and I.
Fern :-)

[McD]

I remember my oldest brother getting a string caught between his nose and mouth (because he was trying to show us that he could, in fact, put a strong up his nose and pull it out of his mouth) and he was gagging and choking.

My mom yelled, "If I have to take you to the emergency room to pull that string out of your nose, I am going to kill you!"

I suggested she just leave out the emergency room altogether and to get with the killing part. All that got me was a thump on the back of the head.

[larabelle]

These were just toooooooo funny and yes I can remember my mom saying some of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[larabelle]

I remember my oldest brother getting a string caught between his nose and mouth (because he was trying to show us that he could, in fact, put a strong up his nose and pull it out of his mouth) and he was gagging and choking.

My mom yelled, "If I have to take you to the emergency room to pull that string out of your nose, I am going to kill you!"

I suggested she just leave out the emergency room altogether and to get with the killing part. All that got me was a thump on the back of the head.

Oh I laughed out loud to that!!!

[Brat]

Thanks so much for the laughs..I have used most of them myself..Guess that makes me old...Kids tell me I am older than dirt most of time...

[frugalfranny]

Loved your story McD......cute.

These brought back some memories for me too........my dad muttered a few of them too.

[ubumartin]

I just want to know how you got MY LIST! Thanks for sharing I was laughing through the whole thing thinking about all the silly things I have said to my kids over the years! And my mother did warn me about #25. Luckily my kids are nothing like me! They are good kids! I tell my kids it skipped a generation and they better watch out!

[frugalfranny]

I think number 7 was my dad's favorite line.

Living on a farm, I heard so many variations of 20 that I couldn't recite them all!!