Adult kids, marriage and grandchildren

[Momto5RN]

my oldest is 23- i look fwd to grandkids but dont try to marry him off and its funny but most of my cts at work are seniors and they would say mid 20s is too young even though they married at those ages or younger - as they say the world is different now .

some people like to brag but so it cant be called bragging they do it by inquiring if your kids are doing what theirs are as if they are really interested -

[annymoll]

We have a son that is unmarried in his late twenties.He lives alone. I feel marriage is a commitment and I am glad he is not jumping into something that he may regret later.I feel personally better unmarried than in and of of marriages and shack ups.I am snarkier than you. When I get asked about his relationship status I always turn it back around. " This is marriage or shack up Number What now for your little Jimmy?"

[Dutchie]

My oldest son is almost 30 and is married to a woman who is almost 32. They have been trying to have children for over a year but I can only say thank goodness that it hasn't happened since she is an alcoholic. We don't have any contact with them for many many reasons but I am glad that a child hasn't been born there.

Then I have a son of almost 26. He moved into a new apartment last Sept. 2010 and to be quite honest I thought that he and his long time girlfriend (3 years) would probably move in together. I asked him about this and he said that he wasn't ready to do this. 2 months ago he broke up with her.

My other 2 sons just moved into their own apartment and one of the sons has had a girlfriend for almost 18 months and I do believe that they are getting more serious. However, they are both still at university and are both working part time and at the moment they are happy with the way things are. They are both almost 25.

My son of 22 is enjoying life and work. He is busy setting up a new business with his boss and has just got back together with his old girlfriend. She is in medical school and won't be finished for another 4 years.

Our daughter is 20 and is just enjoying life and university and her part time work.

I agree with what the Muse said. In Europe there is a different emphasis on the kids and getting married and/or having kids is something you do when you are older.

Most of my kids' friends are still single and only one of them has a child.

[krbshappy71]

my oldest is 23- i look fwd to grandkids but dont try to marry him off and its funny but most of my cts at work are seniors and they would say mid 20s is too young even though they married at those ages or younger - as they say the world is different now .

some people like to brag but so it cant be called bragging they do it by inquiring if your kids are doing what theirs are as if they are really interested -

I totally agree with this and what I don't understand is how breeding has turned into bragging rights, yknow? Is it a generation thing for my mother?? She is in mid to late 60's. Is it a small town thing? She was raised in the country, very small towns. I just don't understand the pressure of it all on people. And upon my children who were so young at the time!

I must be from a different planet or mind set. I just really don't need grandchildren. What is the huge status thing put on that???

[Libby]

I think it is great they are focussing on their careers and having fun now before and if they do decide to get married. They will never have any regrets on jumping into marriage too quickly!

Totally agree. There is no 'correct' order on when to do things in life. Too bad not everyone can understand nor respect this.

As I posted in a different area of this forum, my own mother has been pestering my daughters since their early teens about getting married and having children. excuse me, I would like my daughters to FINISH FREAKIN' HIGH SCOOL FIRST HOW ABOUT THAT PLAN????

BINGO!! My oldest sis did a real # on doing the married and kids thing. She's gone and done everything you're not supposed to and well this has kinda paved the path for the rest of youngin's. Anytime anyone ever tried to play 'the game' with either of my parents - they all let those people have their say and then defended us with "Whats the rush? Let them be "x" years old and live the age appropriate life" and let us do our own thing. (after all, they knew of all that could go wrong having already lived through it once. They surely didn't want to relive it 3 more times)

Think Dug the dog in the movie Up, yell SQUIRREL!! but basically they can't play that game unless you participate.

LOVE that dog/movie

and what I don't understand is how breeding has turned into bragging rights, yknow?What is the huge status thing put on that???

Hmm...breeding for bragging rights could end up in failed marriages and children who grow up confused and feeling unloved/unwanted?
Sounds like Jerry Springer to me.

[cab54]

I would like to see about trading my mother in law for you.

On a serious note, please pat yourself on the back and give yourself major credit for being such a good parent. You know how many other folks in your sons' generation get a lot of pressure for their reproductive choices?

I'm 30 and married - but I got married at 29 and after knowing my husband for only 5 months - so up until I was 29, I got a LOT of "when are you going to settle down?" from my father, my "settled" friends, etc.

My mother says she doesn't think I should have children, because she thinks I'll have a better life without them. (I honestly believe she would never have told me that, though, if she didn't know that I don't want to have children. She's not THAT insensitive haha.)

My mother in law nags me about "where are my grandchildren?" whenever we see them. I'm dying to say "In your imagination" but I don't have the nerve.

Pressure, pressure. Thank goodness for parents like you who let their kids find their own path! I never thought, when I turned 29, that on my 30th birthday I'd be married and have a MIL asking me about grandchildren. You never know what will happen - or how quickly everything can change. But you raised them yourself so you know you can trust them to make the right choices for them.

Sounds like you'd a good DIL, greek. I hope your MIL lays off of you soon.

DH and I were 6 years trying to have our first baby. No idea why. MIL asked me every time I saw her "are we all going to have to explain to you HOW?" Bwahahahaha, that is SOOOOO funny, MIL. I'll bet I could teach you a thing or two, bwahahahaha....... (B*tch!) Maybe the stress I'm under being YOUR DIL is messing with my hormones or something, hahhahahahaha...... () She's 81 now, and still says that to me. Sigh.

Needless to say, I learned what kind of MIL NOT to be from her highness.

[mh3rdwheel]

My dd Dessi I tried telling her a long time ago to first go to school get and education and a good paying job before getting married and having kids. she didn't listen dessi got married at age 19 had Kain at age 21, neither she nor her husband worked, (they still don't), then this year Evan was born, Dessi just started back to school, she will be 24 in June.


Her husband brady does not help with the children, nor housework, he plays, video games, he is 30 years old, smokes doobies with his mom and leaves my daughter to do everything.