MIL, picky eating, and my sanity!

**Joshin** · 06-14-2011, 12:17 PM

My MIL and her sister are going to be here this afternoon for a fun-filled week. They are still 9 hours away but she has already pushed my buttons. This woman is a picky, picky, picky eater, as is her sister. She called me this morning to give me a list of foods they would not eat and told me to "plan dinner accordingly." Gahhh!!

In my house, the general rule is "you eat what you're served or go hungry." I made homemade pizza for tonight, who doesn't like pizza right? "Oh no!" she says, "we don't like Italian food! You better come up with something else." This is after DH had assured me that pizza was a safe choice for both of them as long as I didn't put veggies on it.

This woman thinks she's a princess. Well guess what? In my house I'm the freaking queen! I've half a mind to make what I usually feed my family and if they don't like it they can go out and find their own food.

The food is just one issue I have to deal with for the next 7 days. How will I get through this?!?

**shortstack** · 06-14-2011, 12:29 PM

That is very rude. I am also a picky eater and vegetarian to boot so I always bring my own food with me where ever I go. The last time I stayed with a relative they actually picked at me because they ended up with more food at their house after I left than before I came lol

Can you do a kind of potluck dinner for your next dinner? You provide some and she and her sister do the same. That way it's not all on your shoulders and you know for sure they like at least part of the meal?

**KimZ** · 06-14-2011, 12:35 PM

Can you cut the pizza in to small round circles and call it crackers and cheese?

then they can't call it pizza!

My House has picky eaters also ... but I'm with Shortstack... if you don't like what I am serving bring your own food for dinner

**Darlene** · 06-14-2011, 12:39 PM

I don't mind taking someones tastes into consideration but a list, no way. She's/they are being pushy and rude and should be staying in a hotel with room service if they want to call the shots. You get through this by you and hubby being a united front. Talk to hubby before they get there & he had better be backing you up by letting them know that her/their demands cross the line if they put up a fuss. Shame on them!

**xtena** · 06-14-2011, 12:57 PM

I'm appalled by their rudeness.

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-14-2011, 12:58 PM

Well since going veggie based it's been a bit awkward both having company and going somewhere.I am afraid of being viewed as a picky pain in the ---. I try to be flexible and when I'm out I will eat things that I probably would not eat at home but I think of it as being reasonable and not wanting to make others uncomfortable.

Case in point.
I had company two nights ago. She was asked to bring desert. She was asked not to bring ice cream because we don't eat dairy. So she brought cupcakes.. seems safe enough. However they were cream cheese icing. As a back up she brought frozen Fruit bars, the second ingredient was cream.. as in dairy. I didn't have the heart to tell her so I ate a cupcake but scraped off the icing into the trash when she wasn't around.

When I am invited somewhere I bring a dish. Large enough to share with everyone. No one has noticed that I only eat what I bring and maybe a few other safe things the host has provided. I once ate a hot dog bun with no hot dog on it, just stuffed it so full of veggies it looked full and not a person noticed.

My point is, your MIL is not being reasonable. Why should she expect everyone else around her to be so accommodating to her needs?A polite guest makes do and when it's really an issue you offer to cook or bring your own. I would talk to her and tell her that you really don't what to cook for her and would she like to help you prepare dinner? When I have out of town guests I will take them to the grocery store with me.

**Joshin** · 06-14-2011, 01:01 PM

Thanks guys. She is pretty much a carnivore, and we only use meat as a condiment or side item. She wants burgers, steaks, roasts and meatloaves, and we just don't eat those sort of things. This picky eating thing is just the tip of the iceberg with her. She is very narcissistic and thinks the world should revolve around her. DH and I moved 2,000 miles away from her on purpose when we were first married, lol!

My DS6 butts heads with her, too, but he is young enough to get some enjoyment out of it still! DH is generally non-confrontational, but she usually sets him off, too. Very interesting to see this personality shift in my normally laid back husband!

**ladykemma2** · 06-14-2011, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Joshin

My MIL and her sister are going to be here this afternoon for a fun-filled week. They are still 9 hours away but she has already pushed my buttons. This woman is a picky, picky, picky eater, as is her sister. She called me this morning to give me a list of foods they would not eat and told me to "plan dinner accordingly." Gahhh!!

In my house, the general rule is "you eat what you're served or go hungry." I made homemade pizza for tonight, who doesn't like pizza right? "Oh no!" she says, "we don't like Italian food! You better come up with something else." This is after DH had assured me that pizza was a safe choice for both of them as long as I didn't put veggies on it.

This woman thinks she's a princess. Well guess what? In my house I'm the freaking queen! I've half a mind to make what I usually feed my family and if they don't like it they can go out and find their own food.

The food is just one issue I have to deal with for the next 7 days. How will I get through this?!?

give her a list of your planned meals and tell her to plan accordingly.

**craftypam** · 06-14-2011, 01:57 PM

I know this typing/text thing gets people in trouble because you don't really know how to take the typed word sometimes. So let me preface this with JUST KIDDING!!!!!!! We will all be praying for you so that you won't be killing her in the next 7 days.

Seriously good luck to you; I cannot imagine having such rude and ungrateful guests; must less 7 whole days!

**OOwl** · 06-14-2011, 02:03 PM

Why not just tell her you're sure she'll want to make a trip to the grocery store when she gets there since you don't usually stock meaty fare and tell her you're looking forward to watching her cook.

**Joshin** · 06-14-2011, 02:41 PM

Thanks for making me smile, everyone

I'm going to try and avoid throttling her, since I'm too pretty for prison

What's funny, is I had planned out the meals to be more meat-heavy this week. I have a roast and a whole chicken on the menu (the kids are going to think it's Christmas!). The point of the pizza is since they are driving 950 miles today, we really don't know when they'll show up so I wanted something to just throw in the oven that cooked quickly once they got here, figuring they'd be hungry after two days on the road.

DH told me to serve the pizza. If they have an issue with it, they can make sandwiches for dinner. He said he'd take her aside and let her know he expected better behavior from an adult in front of his kids, lol! (yes, dealing with her is really like dealing with a child).

I already know they'll hit the grocery tomorrow for chips, soda and candy. We don't have those sort of things and we aren't going to start buying them! I made a big container of caramel corn for them to snack on. It's the whole refusing to meet me halfway that drives me mad. The whole week will likely be this way (always is). I'll come up with an idea of what to do, they'll agree, I'll set it all up, and at the last minute they'll change their mind.

At least I can escape for a bit every day, poor DH can't! I still need to work while they are here, so I'll be escaping daily to set up my office in the local Starbucks. DH is a full time house husband, so he has no "out."

Thanks for letting me vent, I already feel a little better!

**ktsmama** · 06-14-2011, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by Joshin

Thanks guys. She is pretty much a carnivore, and we only use meat as a condiment or side item. She wants burgers, steaks, roasts and meatloaves, and we just don't eat those sort of things. This picky eating thing is just the tip of the iceberg with her. She is very narcissistic and thinks the world should revolve around her. DH and I moved 2,000 miles away from her on purpose when we were first married, lol!

My DS6 butts heads with her, too, but he is young enough to get some enjoyment out of it still! DH is generally non-confrontational, but she usually sets him off, too. Very interesting to see this personality shift in my normally laid back husband!

This is one of the main reasons I am no longer married!!!

Good luck. Sending you calming vibes for the next 7 days.

**lottaLove** · 06-14-2011, 02:55 PM

You should check this book out of the library and leave it beside the bed where MIL will be sleeping

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Good-Houseguest-Etiquette-staying-someones/dp/0615272584"]Amazon.com: The Good Houseguest; The Etiquette of staying in someone's home (9780615272580): Havelock James: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41yawQcC0%2BL.@@AMEPARAM@@41yawQcC0%2BL[/ame]

**frugal is fun** · 06-14-2011, 03:04 PM

I think the idea of showing her your meal plan is a great idea, that way they will know ahead of time so they can choose to eat elsewhere. I was also going to say sandwiches are a good second choice for when ever they arrive.

with the meal plan, rehearse a line ahead of time like "I thought I would show you what I have planned for the week for meals so you can decide ahead of time where you would like to eat, here are a couple of menus from local restaurants in case you choose to eat elsewhere" might be a little pushy but should clearly get your point across.

How old are these women? If they're over 75 I can see where you might want to accommodate them but if they on on the younger side they are capable of acting like adults and being considerate of you and your family.