Rant/Rave(long)

aylasmommy · 12-22-2002, 01:34 PM

First I do want to mention the great things my dh has done lately, like the tile he put in, and he went along with my idea to paint the hallway, he's been extremely understanding towards my crazy moods and has lately just been all around a much better guy to be around

Which is why I guess it surprised me that yesterday, my birthday, why he would hide out in his bedroom paying bills while we were 'celerbrating' my birthday(eating the dinner)? It felt lonely with him not there.

I really wanted him to play a game with us, but again he did not and chose to pay bills and work on rebates instead

I mean, he has a 5 day weekend, why did he *have* to do it all on my birhday and when my family was here celebrating it? Maybe he did feel out of place but he never mentioned *that as a reason, just that he had other priorities to take of

ALso a couple days before, i was wiped out, i'd been entertaining my sister, taking care of ayla and trying sooo hard to get everthing cleaned in between..I had done a ton of cooking too since heidi wanted one thing, ayla another and carl of course wanted something different too

So I had a BUNCH of dishes, my tiny dishwasher was full, the rack above that was full, my sink was overflowing and i was on the brink of a meltdown i was so overwhelmed..I begged with my dh to please help me out, even if it was just a little...when he didn't, even though he saw how overwhelmed i was..i just lost it..I only wanted him to come be with me to help me kwim? Just so I wouldnt feel so alone in the swamp of dishes..well after we fought and i went to bed, he finally washed a bunch of the dishes..then used THAT to guilt trip or blackmale me with the next day, and again i had to remind him all i wanted was him to come be with me while he helped and I worked on them.

And my last little heartbreak of yesterday was not having a cake or blowing my candles out of anything, and not having anyone sing me that happy birthday song...it was just weird..I had asked for donuts that morning, instead of a cake, so he wouldn't have had to even make a cake, or buy an expensive cake, just half a dozen donuts would have fed everyone...argh I know it's selfish of me, because he did do something really sweet that morning..but I just wish I'd gotten to spend time WITH him instead of him giving me the roses and candles and then thinking that his job was done so to speak

I mean i'm happy and I shouldn't complain, but lastnight when i went to bed and asked him why he didn't join in with us, or why he didn't get the donuts or a cake ..his answer is what made my heart break "i had bills to pay, other priorities to take care of"

bamamomto4 · 12-22-2002, 01:51 PM

awww Heather I am so sorry!!

Men can be such jerks sometimes.I think every woman here has a jerk of a husband sometimes!
Vent all you want...we're here for you

Wish I could've sent you a cake! But I can make you some cookies and ship them

Jerseygirl · 12-22-2002, 02:29 PM

MEN!!! They generally lack the ability to prioritize, its a dna thing.

Mom23boys · 12-22-2002, 02:52 PM

Quote:

MEN!!! They generally lack the ability to prioritize, its a dna thing.

LOL Jerseygirl! I agree.

I am sorry Carl didn't get you your donuts or a cake Heather. I don't think men stop to think how emotional women are. My DH had to learn over the years, that those days are important to me.

Sending you a big hug.
((((((((((HEATHER))))))))))))

bamamomto4 · 12-22-2002, 03:02 PM

I agree with Michelle~ Men have to learn these things.Dh-bless his heart-is still learning and we've been married almost 14 years!!He tries though

Dixie · 12-22-2002, 03:21 PM

Happy (belated) Birthday! Here's a cyber cake for you.

I just don't think men "get it".

{{{hugs}}}

AmyBoz · 12-22-2002, 03:31 PM

I'm really sorry about your birthday, Heather. Big, belated birthday hugs to you!

Michelle · 12-22-2002, 04:54 PM

Sheesh. What a horrible way to celebrate...or not to celebrate i should say. I'm sorry that happened Heather. I agree with Kellie, it's got to be a DNA thing.

Darlene · 12-22-2002, 05:05 PM

I'm sorry that happened to you yesterday,that wasn't nice. I'm with the other girls on this one about the DNA theory. Hope today was better and I'm sending you a b'day hug.{{Heather}}

aylasmommy · 12-22-2002, 05:29 PM

thanks everyone

You're making me feel better

I tagged along with him to a computer store today I was so depserate to spend time with him

I asked about the donut again, and he told me to just go out and buy one ...so he can go and get his chinese food and computer stuff, but he can't just get me a lousy donut?

oh well

I think I might just make myself some carrot cake today and eat it in bed, ALONE

heaven · 12-22-2002, 06:33 PM

Oh Heather sweetie I am so sorry he did that. It has to be a DNA thing. Happy late birthday dear.

mrscornbread · 12-22-2002, 06:55 PM

Heather, men really dont have a clue most of the time regarding the things that hurt us the most or even the things that are so important, they just dont get it. I would bet you that donut that he has no clue how you are feeling. I have been with mine almost 17 years and he brags on how much he knows me, but not really. I'm sorry. Can you hear me and dd singing to you now?

CountryMom · 12-22-2002, 09:33 PM

That was pretty crummy of him not to celebrate your birthday with you. Almost make me want to suggest that you go to the bedroom and read during HIS birthday dinner.

captclearance · 12-23-2002, 12:45 AM

i understand how you feel, but you have one that loves you and is good most of the time, they get moody too.... They do not allow themselves to admit it ..... (that's a woman's domain)
Just try to let it go, I don't think he has any idea what he did, he's just a man after all..... Happy Birthday Sweetie !!!!!!!!

TheCottageRose · 12-23-2002, 02:29 AM

Bless your heart...they really are ignorant of many things. And when they have things on their mind, their little plans to lay in motion, they quite forget that their SuperWoman just needs to be a little girl at times. Cradled, comforted, and catered to just a little.

He really can't help it.