Question for those with Daughters?

[Rhiamon]

DD 8 has been complaining of chest pain and when I got her to show me where it is in the breast area. She then came crying out of her room because she said she has bumps around them. She is only 8. So I took her out and got her some of those tank top type bras. They look like a bathing suit top almost, because she said her clothing is rubbing and making the pain worse.
I was 9 when I hit puberty and I think that she won't be very long. Once a month she complains of her tummy hurting I started tracking it and sure enough it is about the same time every month.
DD intellectually is above average but emotional is about 7 maybe a little younger. I explained what is happening to a degree but still have not spoken to her about all of what puberty entails because I don't want to scare her.
So moms when it came to your daughters was there a book you read to them or did you just discuss it? I can't figure out how to explain it to her so that she does not get terrified. I know her and even what we have discussed upsets her because she says she does not want to grow up.

[Momto5RN]

american girl has an excellent books describing changes etc -

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-American-Girl-Library/dp/1562476661/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1326893592&sr=8-2"]Amazon.com: The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl) (American Girl Library) (0723232076666): Valorie Schaefer, Norm Bendell: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51fCIIws5-L.@@AMEPARAM@@51fCIIws5-L[/ame]

[ferhoodled]

My daughter is 11 and so far no signs of puberty. I feel she is fairly well prepared for it though since she and her friends all read the American Girl book, "The Care and Keeping of You" at around 8 years old. It was very informative and easy to read. She liked to go to her room and read it in private or with friends, but she didn't want old Mom around when she read it. I do sneak "girl lessons" in as often as possible, keeping them short and sweet, mostly when she is a captive audience in the van, lol.

Also, have you tried the camis at Justice (probably at other places too) that have a light shelf type bra in them? Just enough for modesty but not a "real" bra. My daughter loves them and they look great to layer under light tshirts, etc. Don't know if you're familiar with Justice, but they have 40% sales on everything almost half the time and the other half they send out coupons and such if you are on their list.

This girl parenting is hard! I am definitely not ready for puberty...

[WV_mom_of2]

I second the book recommended above. And try to put a positive spin on things. When you grow up and have a period, etc it's your body getting ready so you can be a mommy some day, etc.

May I also recommend that you do a lot of detail with her? I don't mean details about sex or things you think she isn't old enough for yet. But detail about the period and how to deal with it. Buy a bag of small pads and show her where they are. Tell her those are for her when she needs them. Tell her that the people in her life know about these things (daddy, grandma, aunts, female teachers, school nurse, anyone who is in her life on a regular basis and whom she may be staying with or who might need to pick her up from school) so if she should start and you aren't around it's ok to quietly tell her teacher what's going on or to ask Daddy to get her pads down. Tell her if grandma or an aunt needs to pick up from school because of her period it's ok to tell them and to ask them to stop and get her some pads. Then get a pair of her panties and one of those pads and show her how to use it. The more prepared she is the less scary it will be.

Once she does start track it so that she can be prepared each month. My mom told me NOTHING. One of my older cousins told me and scared the crap out of me. My mom wasn't one that you could really talk to. One day I wore a pair of red courdary pants to school and a few of the little fibers got into my panties. I was scared to death. When I called my mom in she laughed at me and then went to the library and got books for me to read. That was it, no real talking about it. She didn't teach me to track it and I started at school several times and made a mess and it was so embarrassing. There were times I couldn't get her to come and get me and I'd have to tie my jacket around my waist until time to go home.

Once my daughter started developing I knew it wouldn't be long before the period started. I got her the book recommended above and she read it and then we had many discussions about it. She started on her 11th birthday. She was fully prepared and it's never been a big deal. She has never been embarrassed to buy them for herself, etc. I bought her one of those little cloth makeup pouches with a zipper. We tracked her periods and about a week before it was due to start we'd put a pair of panties and a couple of thin pads into that makeup bag and she'd put it in her purse or backpack so she was prepared.

One thing I wanted to add- I made an issue of telling and reminding her that not all parents tell their kids about these things at the same time. It's not something we talk about with friends or tell our friends. It's their parents place to tell them. Once they get older and the other girls bring it up, then it's ok to talk about it.

[mamachop]

I agree with momto5RN. "The Care And Keeping Of You" by American Girl is a very good book. However, with that said, there are some topics in the book that are too detailed/advanced for a an eight year old girl. If you can, borrow the book from a library or purchase it and maybe read over the certain parts you want to discuss with her.

[frugalwarrior2]

Yeah that was a good one. I would however seek the advice of her medical professionals on how to go about explaining that she will grow up. My DD was the tallest and developed full breasts at 10. She wasn't self conscious but the other girls gave her a hard time. I was caught off guard when she started her cycle at 10 1/2. Apparently,it runs on the other side of the family that way as I was 13. And the mood swings at 9!

[brennasmom]

I got my DD the book shown above. I gave it to her to reference/read as she wanted.

[krbshappy71]

Talk talk talk. Go over the book together, don't just hand it to her. Body changes suck but getting older is a privilege denied to many.

[brennasmom]

I have also told my DD to write me a note if she has questions that she is embarrased asking. I don't want her to not ask because she is too embarrased.

[forHISglory]

I didn't have a daughter, but I do have a granddaughter. She is transitioning very quickly right now. I have always told her: 1. I will always tell you the truth. and 2. I will always love you, no matter what. So we have had a very close relationship, and that is so true right now. We talk openly about how she will soon join "The Big Girls' Club" Her mom has talked with her also, so she is actually anticipating all the changes. I think the healthiest way to approach all this is to just keep having the conversation and put it into a favorable light.

My mother just gave me "the book", and told me how awful it all was. I was horrified and didn't want any part of growing up. She told me I had no choice!! So I determined that if I had a girl, that I would do it differently.

[McD]

Well son of a gun. While reading through this thread, I realized that I am going to have to handle all of this with Moo Cow.

Ugh.

[dancemommy]

We used the American Girl book too. My older daughter is 13 and younger is 7. It seems like 4th grade is when it all starts happening around here from looking at my girls and their peers. Good luck!!

[dancemommy]

I second the cami's from Justice (they have them at Target too). Great for layering. Most of the girls in 4th grade and up wear at least that under their shirt. I"m sure some 3rd graders do too. It is a great pre-bra item- not intimidating or embarrasing- just looks like you meant to layer your clothing.

[leighcat]

My daughter just turned 9 and I am hoping she will be a late bloomer like the women on my side of the family. She has an older brother who already took sex ed. We are very open talking about everything so luckily she knows what to expect.

I was 14 and my mom and sister were 15 when we started our periods so I have my fingers crossed lol!

Anway I am glad you asked this question because there is some great advice here.

[dwnloom]

Something that hasnt been mentioned......when my daughter started, she just kind of spotted at first...she had read the above mentioned book and we had many conversations.....she still didnt associate the spotting with starting her period.....the spotting was just a slight bit of color...but she had on white shorts..fortunately, this happened at home....we were able to take care of it before she had a real problem.....After the fact we had more conversation and she was expecting something similar to a bloody nose....sorry to be blunt....but thought i should share....