Some parents UGH

**josantoro** · 02-09-2012, 07:38 PM

unfortunately, some people don't even recognize that those words are unacceptable to most people. It is so much a part of their vocabulary - like if someone asked you to stop saying "the" you would have a hard time doing it.

Very sad state of affairs - I have a friend about 60 and she uses the F word a lot, somewhat shocking as she is otherwise an intelligent and nice person.

**mombottoo** · 02-09-2012, 08:32 PM

Vulgar language has become very acceptable by some people in our society...I find it more so amongst younger people than older people. They use the "f" word and every derivative thereof as nouns, adjectives, verbs, pronouns and the rest.

If I get my cackles up I look at the offender and say, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?". Usually shuts them up or they wander out of my ear shot.

My son (the one with the TBI) has broken brakes...which means he uses very colorful language sometimes and makes very inappropriate comments....when he does I remind him what's appropriate and what's not. Hopefully one of these days his brakes will kick in again until then we just have to go with the flow.

**McD** · 02-09-2012, 09:06 PM

I use the eff word all the time. I'm nice and intelligent.

But I also have a filter on my language. I don't cuss around my kids or other people's kids. I don't swear at customers. But I say the eff word A LOT. It's a great word.

**forHISglory** · 02-09-2012, 10:19 PM

We were at a wresting tournament over the weekend (yes, my grandson is going to state, thank you!), and not only was one particular parent cussing loudly, he also walked into the ring and threatened the umpire (or whatever they call the guys in striped shirts at wrestling matches). They had to stop the match while the forcefully ejected the guy. Good role model, eh?

**josantoro** · 02-10-2012, 07:49 AM

please don't even allow me to commence on parents at kids' games. I am not enchanted with the whole idea of organized (run by adults) sports for kids under a certain age.
I grew up in the 60's, we got together and played kickball - we picked teams, "referee-d" our own games, and somehow managed to survive and have fun. If any kid's parent had showed up cheering them on, we would have thought they were from MARS.

Kids today are being taught not to make a move unless an adult tells them too. They are losing initiative and the sense of PLAY.

ETA - I was usually the LAST kid to get picked for a team as I was not, and still am not, very athletic. And no, it did not crush my spirit and self-esteem into a crumpled heap. I was good at academics and music and I knew that.

**nvmommyx6** · 02-10-2012, 08:55 AM

That particular parent was NOT at the game last night! Thank the Lord LOL
The kids all played great too.... I also cheer on the other kids I know even if their not on my son's team, when they play well I cheer them on when they dont I cheer them up!
Because it is the right thing to do!

**mombottoo** · 02-10-2012, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by McD

I use the eff word all the time. I'm nice and intelligent.

But I also have a filter on my language. I don't cuss around my kids or other people's kids. I don't swear at customers. But I say the eff word A LOT. It's a great word.

Glad to know your brakes aren't broken

. But, you proved my point. Younger people tend to use the "f" word as a common use word and they think nothing of it. Instead of saying WTH, they say WTF...means the same thing pretty much. And, since some people consider the "f" word a common use word they think nothing of letting it fly out of their mouths no matter who is within ear shot. Personally, I'd rather hear someone say "I don't give a shit", than "I don't give a f**k" but, that's just me

.

**McD** · 02-10-2012, 09:19 AM

I wasn't trying to prove or disprove your point. I was responding to the below quote, which makes it seem as if only unintelligent, mean people use the eff word.

Originally Posted by josantoro

Very sad state of affairs - I have a friend about 60 and she uses the F word a lot, somewhat shocking as she is otherwise an intelligent and nice person.

A lot of people have no sense of their surroundings when talking. I had to request Dubya and I be moved to another table at Applebees because a group of women were talking about their sex lives in very graphic details.

**mombottoo** · 02-10-2012, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by McD

I wasn't trying to prove or disprove your point. I was responding to the below quote, which makes it seem as if only unintelligent, mean people use the eff word.
"quote missing"
A lot of people have no sense of their surroundings when talking. I had to request Dubya and I be moved to another table at Applebees because a group of women were talking about their sex lives in very graphic details.

Well thanks for your help any way

. I'll go one futher...a lot of people have no sense at all and I think those women were totally uncouth. I generally only use the "f" word when I am very angry and I remember quite a few years ago after finding out the assistant principal put his hands in my daughter's pant's pockets I was quite fluent in the "f" bomb and every derivative thereof while reaming the assistant principal a new ass. He says, "Mrs. B, you really have to watch your language as he's looking at all of the teenagers who stopped dead in their tracks. Me? I looked around and said, "What? You think these kids haven't ever heard the word "f**k" before?"...needless to say he kept his hands to himself after that.

**bent** · 02-10-2012, 10:33 AM

I personally do not get the whole parent involvement in their kids sports other than driving, providing snacks, and cheering... myself I was never into sports really don't get the whole 'big deal' some parents make over their children participating in sports to help 'boost' their self-esteem (winning is everything attitude) I always have thought it was to have fun doing something the child enjoyed, and isn't it the parents job to build up their kids esteem not tear it down because they aren't 'perfect at sports, or whatever' (every morning I tell dd to do her best in school- it all I want for you to be YOUR best) ...way back when the highschool principal who was also the football coach approached my mom about having my brother play- when he was 16 he was 6'4 and about 220#'s... he really talked up the game and what all it could teach her son (ohhhh his first mistake was that lol) teamwork, responsibilities blah blah blah- she asked db and he said 'mom, they cuss the other team on the field' HE chose not to participate she just upheld his decision for 4yrs db was pressured to join up (seems he would have made a good tackle boxer). some parents /coaches get way to competitive for my taste- when dd was 6 i was going to enroll her in basketball so we went to a few of the 'practices' of the older group 10-12yr olds before we had to decide the same person was coaching both sets of kids and they way he motivated (screamed at every mistake made it scared dd very much and she's never been one to be afraid) he was loud and in the kids faces... we left the practice and never looked back.
I know there are lots of great coaches out there and kids do benefit but there's other things that I think are more important for kids to learn than how to be on a winning team.
as to the cursing my kids dad has a horrible potty mouth and when ds was 2 his favorite expression when he was mad/upset was B@stard!!!, dad and I had a sit down and I told him your a creative guy come up with words that you know what your cursing but our babies wont. Merf and Farfenziffle are still my favorites, I once read a quote "Using profanity is a sign of a weak mind trying to express itself" so i stenciled it on a coffee cup and gave it to dh, he wasn't very appreciative but it got my point across but now that the kids are older 14-12 I've noticed when he visits he curses more so I gently remind him that we don't do that in this house..... we spell curse.

dd's current 'WTFudge' and ds's 'what the H' and a few more that the kids use with each other I don't know what they mean cause its usually said under breaths. they can express themselves but if it happens within my hearing the loose privileges so it's interesting when they are 'fighting loudly' then all of the sudden I hear rampant whispering...
If we are out in public and I see other children/parent using behavior/words that are inappropriate I use those episodes as a teaching example (usually in a loud enough voice that I get the attention of the parent/child/ren- "LOOK at that what would happen if you said/did that?" ''this is an example of how not to try and get your way''.
McD- that's very sad that happened to you and your son.

**erinalexmom** · 02-11-2012, 07:27 AM

I agree that some parents are just generally crazy. I don't think its just sports. Look at science projects that the parents "help" with (yeah right! "help")
"My kid is an honor roll student."" My kid reads two levels above their grade."" My kid can do something better than your kid." None of the adult accomplishments belong to the adults. Its never "I was promoted at work, I won a blue ribbon at the county fair for my blueberry jam, I am top in sales this year" Its what their child can accomplish.
Then don't get me started on parents involving themselves in childish fights amongst the girls! Parents taunting a poor child on facebook till the child kills themselves! The only time I have ever got involved in a fight amongst children was when I was the adult who could step in and save the child from being taunted (and this wasn't even my own child but I feel all children should be protected from being bullied)
Since when did our society revolve around children? We as adults need to be adults! We need to show children how to make proper choices in behavior and morals. (instead of being on their behavioral level) Many adults are just very tall children!

**josantoro** · 02-11-2012, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by McD

I wasn't trying to prove or disprove your point. I was responding to the below quote, which makes it seem as if only unintelligent, mean people use the eff word.

I use the F word all the time myself, in the privacy of my home with only my DH present. I didn't mean to imply that only unintelligent, mean people use it - I was just saying, her general demeanor is such that it is a bit shocking when I hear it. Picture it coming out of your grandmother's mouth, that kind of thing.

I do think you need a little intelligence to know when it is appropriate. Maybe I should feel flattered that she feels she can "let her hair down" around me.

**WV_mom_of2** · 02-11-2012, 09:16 AM

In my area I find that these types of parents create children who act the same. My son played on the middle school basketball team when he was in the 8th grade. There was a boy on the team who was nothing more than a bully. He bullied everyone, my son, girls, teachers, it didn't matter who it was. His parents are the same way. If he got in trouble for anything mom was at the school yelling "oh no, not MY kid" and getting his butt out of trouble. Everyone was afraid of this kid. During basketball season he was suspended from school THREE times yet allowed to not only play on the team but start every game! At the games he would enter the locker room at halftime and throw things and scream at the other players telling them how horrible they were, cursing, etc. And he was allowed to stay on the team! His parents are the same way. In the stands screaming, being ugly, cheering when other players fall, etc.

I should mention that this kid ended up committing a crime and going to Juvie for a year. He is back now and hopefully he's learned his lesson.

**nvmommyx6** · 02-11-2012, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by WV_mom_of2

In my area I find that these types of parents create children who act the same. My son played on the middle school basketball team when he was in the 8th grade. There was a boy on the team who was nothing more than a bully. He bullied everyone, my son, girls, teachers, it didn't matter who it was. His parents are the same way. If he got in trouble for anything mom was at the school yelling "oh no, not MY kid" and getting his butt out of trouble. Everyone was afraid of this kid. During basketball season he was suspended from school THREE times yet allowed to not only play on the team but start every game! At the games he would enter the locker room at halftime and throw things and scream at the other players telling them how horrible they were, cursing, etc. And he was allowed to stay on the team! His parents are the same way. In the stands screaming, being ugly, cheering when other players fall, etc.

I should mention that this kid ended up committing a crime and going to Juvie for a year. He is back now and hopefully he's learned his lesson.

There are plenty of families around here like this, it is a true shame too. These poor kids being raised this way, they'll resent their parents when they get out into the real world and cant act that way without epic failure!
When my children comment on these kids and those situations I explain to the to feel sorry for those kids because their being raised without any Love, genuine care or concern and without "reality" and when they get out into the real worlld their lessons will be beyond HARD...When my kids see this kind of behavior, they appriciate the "reality" we raise them in!
It's very sad to me to know the hardship they have in store for them thanks to their ignorant parents