My MIL is definitely losing a step

**cab54** · 04-13-2012, 10:47 PM

She's 81.

Besides her husband dying a few weeks ago, she has been getting a little confused lately. She was stopped by one of her sons from packing to go 'to the lake' (cottage) a couple of months ago. They haven't had a cottage in over 20 years. Doesn't always recognize people she knew. Etc.

Today, she called my DH and said to him, 'you DID know it's your wife's birthday today, didn't you?' He's like "HUH??"

He explains that my birthday is indeed on the 13th.....but a different month. He hangs up and tells me, and I say----- well she's forgotten about it the last few years.....at least she's trying!! LOL!

**bookwormpeg** · 04-13-2012, 11:39 PM

So sorry...I've watched a friend do this....I don't want to scare you but it gets worse...hang in there.....

**MissSeetonFan** · 04-13-2012, 11:46 PM

Understand. My husband's grandma has dementia. I would definitely have her checked out, and start making plans or see if she has plans for care. The worse the dementia gets the more oversight she'll need.

Sad thing is she is going downhill really fast now. So fast that someone, semi-anonymously (we think it is another grandchild), posted her information on Find-A-Grave because, well, her health is so poor she'll be dying soon anyway. Why not get the memorial up now and just update the death date when it happens. Crass!

**josantoro** · 04-14-2012, 07:33 AM

I think she definitely needs to be evaluated by her doctor. We have a neighbor whose wife is suffering from dementia, twice last year she got in the car and drove off - scary. Thank goodness no one was hurt.

**frugalwarrior2** · 04-14-2012, 09:44 AM

I hope she's not living alone?

**ferhoodled** · 04-14-2012, 03:09 PM

Sorry to hear this.

I remember hearing about some new medications that can help hold off dementia and/or alzheimers for a while. Maybe get her in to the doctor asap so if any of these apply to her she could get started right away?

Here are a couple links I found... http://www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers/pu...ons-fact-sheet and http://www.webmd.com/alzheimers/tc/dementia-medications

I wish you all the best.

**pinecone** · 04-15-2012, 10:09 PM

Sending hugs your way. Her DH was probably her rock and without him the dementia has gotten worse. Yes, have her checked asap then you will know for sure what is going on. A difficult path to be sure. I walked it with DMIL for 7 years.

piney

**mauimagic** · 04-15-2012, 11:03 PM

So sorry to hear this. We have a similar situation with my MIL. DH has moved to her home - another island for ten days at a tine, then back home for three. We have care providers when he's back home. It's rough on so many levels. Please let us know how it's going for all of you.

**frugalfranny** · 04-16-2012, 12:17 PM

Hang in there cab.............it can be a rough road........just don't forget to take care of your OWN health as the stress level goes up!!

Some days you won't be able to get her 'back into your world'.........so be prepared to go to her world...........whatever it is for that day!!!

**oheoh's momma** · 04-16-2012, 02:13 PM

hugs and God bless u it gets worse.....

**max915** · 04-16-2012, 04:26 PM

totally understand my mother is going through the same thing...it is had to see the person you looked up to go through this...

**ShadowMom** · 04-16-2012, 05:17 PM

We are going through the same thing with my father, it has gotten to the point where he had to be hospitalized.

**cab54** · 04-17-2012, 11:39 AM

No, she's not alone, she has recently started to reside at a nursing home---don't get all fiery at me

---it is a NH run by two of her sons, and once owned by her, so she's like 'the queen' there. She was moved there when FIL died, because she wasn't safe on her own.

And she gets checked out by doctors alll the time. They thought for awhile the confusion might be due to her very low Hemoglobin levels. But after several blood transfusions and her HGB. being good again, she's still confused. I'm sure her DH dying is making it worse.

**frugalfranny** · 04-17-2012, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by cab54

I'm sure her DH dying is making it worse.

I do agree with this.

My dad went downhill FAST after my mom died.

The Dr. tried to get him to take antidepressants but he wouldn't do it. He just no longer had anything to live for or get up for in the morning---he had been her caretaker prior to her death. Within two years he was basically "gone" in the mental since.....total confusion.