ohhhhhhh ..... I am NOT happy

**aylasmommy** · 01-08-2003, 04:25 PM

I could just SCREAM I am so mad, actually I did cry lastnight after dh told me...

He bought ANOTHER guitar!!! It cost 700$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was crying mainly because he never told me he'd be buying such an expensive guitar...he said he's already ordered it from ebay

UGH!
Okay, so he says he's selling things to pay for it...BUT he doesn't know where the pinkslip is for his motorcycle and the guy who wants to buy the other thing lives in JAPAN in an army base ? has no way to really GET it

THis is so frustrating because HE KNOWS how badly I want my teeth done too! PLUS we have a little over 1000 to pay off on our credit card!!!!!! AAAAARGHHH

we had had a discussion and I thought he said he wasn't going to buy any more

WAAAHHHH

**babynurse** · 01-08-2003, 04:28 PM

I am so sorry, I really don't know what to say. Men can be so stupid sometimes!! I feel for you hon!

**Darlene** · 01-08-2003, 04:34 PM

Sometimes it seems like you're talking to a wall, huh? Sorry he didn't listen to you Heather.

Hope he does sell some things to help pay for what he just bought.

**Mom23boys** · 01-08-2003, 04:38 PM

Heather, I am so sorry that your DH went behind your back and purchased something so expensive. I don't think men stop to think before they act!!!! I wish there is something I could do to help.

I am sending you lots of hugs!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Heather))))))))))))))))))))

**nealy** · 01-08-2003, 05:04 PM

I think I would have a heart attack if my Dh did that, you are a very patient woman. We have an agreement that we have some spending money but anything over 20.00 needs to be discussed and both parties have to consent. If we didn't do that I would have a 2000.00 computer in our office. LOL.

Nealy

**PennyPinchinPam** · 01-08-2003, 05:06 PM

I'd be very ticked at my dh. You have every right to be upset.

**crdurham** · 01-08-2003, 05:13 PM

You have every right to be mad Heather. You work you butt off to be frugal, watching every dime; and he goes out and does something like that WITHOUT even consulting you. I know you have to be totally frustrated. We discuss big purchases and then save up for them. Like when my dh wanted a drum set, I said that was fine and he saved up the money by working overtime.

I am so sorry for you Heather. I hope that he is right and gets the money by selling stuff he has. Hope you feel better to.

**tigo** · 01-08-2003, 05:14 PM

DH does the same thing. He got the check from the insur. company totalling out his car after his wreck. He spent the entire check on himself. (I was bent because I pay both car notes, the insurance and lost pay taking him to and from the doctors. Did he ask if I needed anything? Nope - just spent it all).

**grneyegrl** · 01-08-2003, 06:20 PM

u should stop waiting to get your teeth done and just do it..and when hubby finds out just say"well u didnt consult me on your last major purchase and i didnt think it was nessaray"sp sorry.

**aylasmommy** · 01-08-2003, 06:41 PM

Thanks everyone,

it made me so mad that I almost wanted to tell him, 'look it's either the guitars or me', becuase he spends sooo much time on them!

he doesn't spend much time with us because he always has a new project to work on with those dang guitars

Oh lets see how many does he have now? 13 I can see, not counting the one he just bought

Plus the drum set and all the nice stuff he had to buy for that...and a 100$ stool he HAD to have that we don't have room for...I swear I feel like I live in a garage studio the way all this equipment is taking over the living room

I think it's great that you guys have those discussions before major purchases...I tried to talk dh out of buying his 2000$ laptop, but he stomped around like a big baby and made my life miserable until I finally let him

ugh! I feel like he doesn't even make an effort to be a couple!

I told him after he told me about the guitar "Ohhh so THAT"S why you were being all nice and cleaning house huh!?" Lol..i bet it was, even though he didn't admit it...but wow I feel totally invisible...and of course he just acts like I didn't hear him tell me about it..YEAHHH right! If he KNEW he told me, he would have KNOWN that I would get upset and say no! lol what's he thinking!?

The only reason I'm not still totally furious, is I'm REALLY hoping he'll see the light and try to resell it on ebay

I can't believe he'd go and make a purchase like that!!

OH and another reason I was crying is because we STILL haven't had a vacation or honeymoon even! That money could have been a real nice(short) vacation for the two of us...his mom gave us 1000 a while ago to spend on a vacation, and he even spent all that on himself! We don't even have a front door SCREEN from the money his mom gave him for that, because again he spent it on himself..shoot i hope doesnt' spend ayla's education money they are giving us now!!!

I really should just take our credit card and get my teeth fixed without him knowing

**heaven** · 01-08-2003, 06:43 PM

I am so sorry heather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hon, I don't have an advice for you hang in there hun. I think that if your teeth being fixed will make you feel better just go do it!!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally amazed at how better i feel now mine are done.

**bamamomto4** · 01-08-2003, 07:01 PM

Sorry your dh did that.I would be just as mad !!! I wouldn't talk to Steve for a week and when I did it wouldn't be anything nice LOL!!

I agree with you though,take the cc and do what you want to do! Make him see how it is when you go behind his back and do something!

**captclearance** · 01-08-2003, 07:42 PM

**guest2** · 01-08-2003, 07:44 PM

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I'd go and buy savings bonds for your daughter's education with the money that you are being given for that purpose. That way he can't get full value for them now, but they will be there for your daughter later.
You are in control of the grocery budget right? Well, I think I'd just tell him that since he spent $700 on a guitar that should have been used on getting your teeth done, that money is going to have to come from somewhere and it's coming out of the grocery budget. Since you are going to have to cut back somewhere, cut out all the "junk food" and that includes all the coke soda and snack foods that your husband enjoys so much. :surprise: He may not like it, but he'll get the message about how it feels to have to "sacrifice".
I'd then have a serious talk with him about how you two need to have a budget and stick to it. If he wants to sell his stuff to finance his new toys then fine. But...he has to sell the stuff first and have cash in hand before he can buy a new toy. My husband and I went through this when we were first married and he thought he could go on with his bachelor spending habits. We finally had it out and I gave him the checkbook and bills and told him he was in charge of paying all of the bills from now on. It's been amazing to see the change in his spending since he now sees how fast the money goes out just trying to stay afloat while raising our boys! LOL!

**mylittle4** · 01-08-2003, 07:57 PM

I know men HATE ultimatums, but matbe you could tell him he has to get rid of a guitar to get a new one. My dh had this problem with video games spending too much time and money on them. One day while he was at work I sold them and bought new clothes for me. He then realized what it is like when he spends all the money on him. After the initial shock and anger. He now gets games for gifts and if he wants a new one he trades in the old for the new or uses his junk food money for it.Good Luck.