long rant! Dh is getting WEIRD on me (or maybe it's me?)

**aylasmommy** · 01-16-2003, 11:11 PM

I just don't GET why my dh was being such a (fill in the blank) today!! He was getting all upset and saying that everything I was saying was to HURT HIM?? First he started making fun of the way I was talking. He said "Don't do this to me Heather" What the heck was I doing to him? I have no clue

So I said "I'm not making my voice sound any different and I"m not 'doing' ANY thing TO you" and he KEPT on saying that over and over i finally broke down and started yelling

I thought he finally 'got it' that i wasn't out to ruin his day...so I made the comment "i just want to go to bed" Becuase I was --- get this--- TIRED...well guess what he said about that? "Don't DO that to me Heather!!!" ARRRGH WHAT WAS I DOING ?? I didnt get it so i hung up on him, and went to bed... and slept

1 hr 30 min. later he came in all pissed that i put him on hold ...(seriously, OOPS on that i didn't mean to) but at least I got to SLEEP other wise he would have just called me back to yell at me some more

Ohhhh what ticks me off was I put off TAKING A SHOWER all day after working out for an hour and having thick clammy sweat all over me, just so I could be availiable to sign for his package ( HE ORDERED MORE GUITAR STUFF!!!) He seriously told me to put it off until they showed up... did they ever? nope

Of course he doesn't care that i've been working my butt off to get this house back in shape... but why? he doesn't have any way to work that into a fight with me now does he?

You know what else i hate?! He ALWAYS(after we fight) starts yelling about ME needing to get the last word in, but THEN he makes sure that HE gets the last word in..and even once i'm quiet for a few minutes or more ...he comes back in and YELLS at me to stop yelling at him! whats up with that? I wasnt even LOOKING at him let alone whispering to him and of course not yelling!!??

I guess I am really selfish though because sometimes I wish that instead of him ordering a guitar, he would order me something...nothing huge and expensive..just something that showed he was thinking about *me that whole evening instead of his blasted guitars!

I try so hard to do the things I know make him happy, and then he goes and gets weird on me like this!

I just feel so worthless and stupid and piddly and ugh I really hate myself right now
I am so depressed not even the thought of target shopping sounds fun.

**Daphne** · 01-16-2003, 11:22 PM

I'm so sorry he is acting this way. I deal with this too everyonce in awhile so I know how you are just confused and wondering where all this came from. I hope things get worked out for you two. Please don't be depressed about this...like I said I understand where you are coming from but it's not your fault that he's in a bad mood. If you did do something then he needs to say Heather, you did this or that. I can't stand it when they rant and rave about crazy stuff and don't just get to the point!! Just remember you are not worthless or stupid or piddly!!!! You are a beautiful person with a good heart!! Keep your head high and be strong. We are all here for you!!

If you want to pm me or email me dreeder1@cox.net to talk please feel free...I go thru this a lot!! It's actually gotten better for me lately.

**heaven** · 01-17-2003, 12:06 AM

heather, you are NOT stupid, worthless or petty. dear we all love you and hope tomorrow is better. hang in there.

**mylittle4** · 01-17-2003, 12:10 AM

Oh sweetie, try not to be depressed. Maybe it is his time of the month.LOL I have read the many posts about the things you do for him. Tan, cook his steak, buy his cokes. He will realize it. He probably already does. Ok I am stopping here before I go into full throttle man bashing. It will be ok.
((((((HUGS))))))))

**PennyPinchinPam** · 01-17-2003, 01:07 AM

This too shall pass. Men can be such jerks. Maybe he'll be more apt to talk after he cools down. I think men get a guys form of PMS. I call it MMS. Man menstrual Syndrome.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

**Daphne** · 01-17-2003, 01:08 AM

Heather - I emailed you..

**aylasmommy** · 01-17-2003, 01:30 AM

awww thanks you guys

Argh here come the tears again!

Daphne I emailed you again too

**lucy979** · 01-17-2003, 02:24 AM

Heather, you are such a great wife and mother! Don't let his foul mood get you down. You are great!

**mommy2three** · 01-17-2003, 08:08 AM

i too know where you are coming from. i feel unappreciated a lot of times too. you just remember we know how wonderful you are!! we've read your posts about everything you do! you are a wonderful wife and and an excellent mother!! i agree...don't let his mood get you down. (although i know it's hard!)

**simplemom** · 01-17-2003, 08:17 AM

Heather. I hope everything get better soon. And REMEMBER you are a *GREAT PERSON* !

OK?

Lucie

**Michelle** · 01-17-2003, 08:22 AM

I swear men get MMS too....years down the road we'll find out that it's really true

Seriously though, we all know you are a great wife and mother. Don't beat yourself up for his shortcomings and bad moods.

**i.m.cheap** · 01-17-2003, 08:27 AM

Heather, I have just stopped trying to figure my man out. They are the oddest creatures. I still remember your post about how your DH acted on your birthday. So childish. My DH will also start a fight at the drop of a hat. I am never alowed to vent because I'M having a bad day. Arrgh!

Deb

**captclearance** · 01-17-2003, 08:31 AM

They are such children sometimes !!!!!!!!!!!! Try to let it roll off your back, I know easier said than done..... Maybe this comes from his guilt in buying the guitar........ We know what a wonderful Mother and Wife you are, surely he knows too......
Just take a deep breath and continue trying to raise him right......
They really are little kids !!!!!!!!!!!

**aylasmommy** · 01-17-2003, 01:20 PM

Thanks again everyone for all the sweet comments

Lastnight I cut out a heart, colored it red..wrote on it some sweet things and also some things I wanted to tell him how I felt..then I cut out a key with paper and used dental string as a chain for the key...and wrote something cheesy about how he has the key to my heart and for him to not lose it (by doing things like he did today) he said he thought it was really creative!!

(ok i did get the heart idea from a site daphne posted, i just took it a step further with the key thing..) So, he didn't talk about any of the most important stuff I mentioned...he did take it as an oppurtunity to defend himself with what he thought wasn't true..

Can you believe he sat there and told me "I never yelled at you" OMG! Lol that boy is GOOD at lying and BELIEVING it too...scary!

But, we are ok now ...I mean I don't feel thrilled about his apology, or rather lack there of...it's like this though, we kind of just ignore it and get on with life...and i end up feeling like I wished he made a better effort of apolgizing..but heck I'll take what I can get I guess.

**guest2** · 01-17-2003, 01:56 PM

Hi Heather,
I have not been on these boards for long, but I have enjoyed reading your posts and can see that you are a very loving, kind hearted and patient wife and a great Mommy! I have a few questions for you, is this "normal" behavior for your husband? Does he always try to put the blame on you for his bad mood and defend his actions rather than apologizing for his role in things? From what I have read from your posts, you seem to be the one giving and sacrificing all the time. Please know that I am praying for you, sending you big hugs and am here too if you need to talk!

Blessings,
Debbie