need help with separation

**deary** · 01-28-2003, 07:17 PM

Me and my husband just separted two week ago. He says he does not know if he still in love with me. He wants to only date and get to know me over again. I want this marriage to work. I have not dated him in a long time and have no idea what to say and not to say. In our marriage I have been selfish and I just don't treat him good. How can I show him I am treating him nice if he does not live with me anymore? Hope I made my problem clear. I have never ask for help and this is very hard for me.

**justjenn** · 01-28-2003, 07:21 PM

Hugs, sweetie. I have no advice for you. But, will keep you in my prayers.

**babynurse** · 01-28-2003, 07:29 PM

My advice is to just look within yourself and be yourself. It's a good sign that he wants to get to know you again and date, but you said that you don't treat him well. Why? (you don't have to answer this, but ask yourself this question) As for treating him nice when you don't live together, think about when you were dating...what nice things did you do for each other then? I am sure they would work now, just because you don't live together doesn't mean you can't have a relationship right? Hope I helped. (((Hugs))) to you, I know how hard this must be for you. I went through something similar just a few months ago. Take care!

**Daphne** · 01-28-2003, 07:40 PM

I was going to give the same advice as Theresa - she did a great job I think!

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope this works for you. We are here to lend an ear and any advice if you want.

**babynurse** · 01-28-2003, 07:50 PM

Why thanks Daphne, Dr Phil and Oprah must be rubbing off on me, LOL!

**deary** · 01-28-2003, 08:37 PM

Thank you for the advice it is helping.

**heaven** · 01-28-2003, 08:43 PM

Totally agree with Theresa too that is what i would have said. Hang in there. good luck. Keep us posted,We all do care.

**TheCottageRose** · 01-29-2003, 01:34 AM

(((Hugs)))

**KathiS** · 01-29-2003, 05:42 AM

Hugs coming your way.

**Mom23boys** · 01-29-2003, 09:57 AM

Good luck with the dating Deary. Just enjoy each other.

(((((((((Deary)))))))))))

**deary** · 01-29-2003, 06:52 PM

My dh just emailed me and said the word I love you has a different meaning to him now. When he uses these words he wants to understand the whole meaning and the power behind them. I am trying to be strong through this, but I have to give him time and space to figure out what love is. Maybe I need to find what it means to. I am not going into depression and when I do I call a friend and they lift me up. I have my kids to think about right now.

**TheCottageRose** · 01-29-2003, 07:13 PM

I think that is what you have to do, and like you say, looking at things in a new way is just as important for you as it is him.

This whole marriage thing is hard.

(((hugs))))

I'm so glad you have friends close by to call on.

**faith17** · 02-06-2003, 05:32 PM

I think you both just need to take time to learn about yourselves.
If you can make yourself happy then the rest will follow.
I cant say much more than that . But I do wish you the best of luck .

**heaven** · 02-06-2003, 06:09 PM

take time to figure out what you want from life, and who you are.I was totally devestated when I first seperated i had be his wife for so long i didn't have a clue who on earth i was. Hang in there we are here if you need us. HUGSSS!!!!!!!!!!

**MANDERS** · 02-07-2003, 10:29 AM

I agree with Theresa and Jamie,You both really need to find out what you want in this relationship.This is crucial.Maybe both of you have changed and he wants to go back to the way it was in the beginning.That's probably where the dating idea came into play.Remember if he didn't love you and want to make this work then he wouldn't suggest dating you.