help i am leaving my husband

**angie** · 02-21-2003, 06:42 AM

i need some help,i am leaving my husband.i just found out that he is hurting my 4 yr old son when i am not home.my son is really scared of him,and never wanted to go home.i found out yesterday and have made arrangment to move back to my parents tomorrow.i never knew this was happening,i feel so guilty for not knowing.i have another son who is 2 and don't know if he hits him too.he has never left a mark on them that wasn't explained.my son said if he told me that he would get more.i want him in jail or better in a pine box.
i want to get out the easiest way possible,for my kids and my and my unbornchild.
the kids will be staying with my grandmother while we move so they are safe.but what do i tell him.
i know i can never forgive him or stand to look at him,but i need to tell him something i am scared to set him off.

any advice would be great.

**SewCrafty** · 02-21-2003, 07:08 AM

Oh Angie, my heart goes out to you and your children. I hate bullies who beat on women and children!

No advice here except to wish you well and hope you and your children are safe. We are here if you need us.

**lucy979** · 02-21-2003, 07:12 AM

Oh Angie! I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. I would try to leave when he wasn't around. Just don't be there when he gets home. Maybe you should get a restraining order. I hope it all works out for you!! If you need to talk please feel free to email me.

**Kimmomo3** · 02-21-2003, 07:19 AM

I suggest you do everything involving your soon to be x with witnesses and or police around. Move out with the police around, even if you are planning on doing it whil he is not home, he might get wind of it and come home. Maybe see a lawyer and see what you should do, or some sort of social worker/crisis center, they probably know the best way to go about doing what you need to do.

And when it comes to telling your husband, make sure others are around and tell him exactly why you are leaving. No need to save his feelings, and if others are around you should be safe

Good Luck!!

**Daphne** · 02-21-2003, 07:32 AM

I'm so sorry this has happened!! You are doing the right thing!! I agree that when you move have the police there. Always have a witness on your side. I'll be thinking about you and please let us know how everything goes as soon as you can. You and your children will be in my prayers!!

**Darlene** · 02-21-2003, 07:35 AM

Originally posted by Kimmomo3
I suggest you do everything involving your soon to be x with witnesses and or police around. Move out with the police around, even if you are planning on doing it whil he is not home, he might get wind of it and come home. Maybe see a lawyer and see what you should do, or some sort of social worker/crisis center, they probably know the best way to go about doing what you need to do.

And when it comes to telling your husband, make sure others are around and tell him exactly why you are leaving. No need to save his feelings, and if others are around you should be safe

Good Luck!!

I agree, ask for help & never be alone with that animal. I'm so glad your kids have a Mom who will protect them,sadly some don't. Big hug to you as you stand strong to keep you, your babies & baby to be~ safe.

**captclearance** · 02-21-2003, 08:16 AM

Originally posted by Kimmomo3
I suggest you do everything involving your soon to be x with witnesses and or police around. Move out with the police around, even if you are planning on doing it whil he is not home, he might get wind of it and come home. Maybe see a lawyer and see what you should do, or some sort of social worker/crisis center, they probably know the best way to go about doing what you need to do.

And when it comes to telling your husband, make sure others are around and tell him exactly why you are leaving. No need to save his feelings, and if others are around you should be safe

Good Luck!!

I agree too ! Get help from the police and social services !!!!!!!
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your children, {{{HUGS}}}}}

**Mom23boys** · 02-21-2003, 08:31 AM

I just want to send you hugs.

(((((((((((Angie)))))))))))

I think you are doing the right thing. Working with special ed. children that are ED (emotionally disturbed), I have seen the effects that abuse leaves on them. If you ever need to talk just PM me.

**justjenn** · 02-21-2003, 12:53 PM

O, Angie. Bless your children's hearts. Definitely get out of there and get a restraining order. Be strong. We're here, if you need to talk. Sending lots of prayers and hugs.

**heaven** · 02-21-2003, 01:27 PM

OH Angie, I so know what you are going though (my first husband abused my children also) . Hang in there dear. Call your local woman's shelter, they can help you with all you need!!! They can help get a restraining order, and with the police also. Please take care of yourself and the children. If you need anything please Pm or email me. heaven.

**Ellise** · 02-21-2003, 01:50 PM

Angie, hon, get out anyway you can!!! make sure your childern are protected at all times. Does soon to be x know where grandmother lives? If so it may be safer to take them someplace else. Most punks like him will even try to bully older family memebers!! Please do be careful!! Hire a moving company to move your things, or take only what you need and get OUT!! You need to report it to the Police & Social Services, just to protect yourself! Do talk to an attorney, let your son tell him what's happened/happening, that way it can't backfire on you!
Taking his life won't help. He's not worth it, he'll get his in due time. That's the least of your worries right now. Gosh, I wish I were closer to help you.
Whatever you do , DO NOT let him TRICK you into beliving he'll change, They NEVER DO. (I almost died because of abuse! spent 3 months in the hospital because of it.)
None of my children were ever abused, but I know what it's like. If you need to talk,yell, scream. Feel free to e-mail me.

Hugs & Prayers

**heaven** · 02-21-2003, 02:47 PM

Originally posted by Ellise
Angie, hon, get out anyway you can!!! make sure your childern are protected at all times. Does soon to be x know where grandmother lives? If so it may be safer to take them someplace else. Most punks like him will even try to bully older family memebers!! Please do be careful!! Hire a moving company to move your things, or take only what you need and get OUT!! You need to report it to the Police & Social Services, just to protect yourself! Do talk to an attorney, let your son tell him what's happened/happening, that way it can't backfire on you!
Taking his life won't help. He's not worth it, he'll get his in due time. That's the least of your worries right now. Gosh, I wish I were closer to help you.
Whatever you do , DO NOT let him TRICK you into beliving he'll change, They NEVER DO. (I almost died because of abuse! spent 3 months in the hospital because of it.)
None of my children were ever abused, but I know what it's like. If you need to talk,yell, scream. Feel free to e-mail me.

Hugs & Prayers

I agree totally. He will not change no matter what he says without some major help. as for killing him off. God i know that feeling. but let God do it. He does so much better with it than we ever could. Hang in there.

**angie** · 02-21-2003, 09:00 PM

thank you so much for your advice,i am about to tell him in about an hour.my father is going to check in with me.my kids are up at my mothers and will stay there until tomorrow just to be safe.my granmother has 2 big dogs and will keep her doors locked until we get there.my uncle is also staying there to.
i really appreciate all your kind words,i will be getting a restraining order but i am not sure that will be worth it.when his mother finds out and she lives close to my parents she will make sure he stays out of our lives.

anyways if i don't get back to you soon that means i have left the puter.but i will be back thanks again