Any advice for new relationship?

**babynurse** · 05-21-2003, 05:49 PM

As many of you know I have met someone special recently. Well, he has a son who is almost 4 years old. The child and I get along well, but I am not sure what role to play in this whole thing. I am afraid of getting too attached, especially to the little boy. Any advice for those who have been through this situation? I don't have children and I have never dated anyone with children before either, so this is all new to me. Also...what do 4 year old boys like to do? I could relate better to a little girl I think, but I want to try create some kind of bond with him...and I have no clue what boys like to do! Thanks!

**Daphne** · 05-21-2003, 05:52 PM

I don't have any advice for you but I did want to let you know I'm thinking about you. I'm sure you are going to get wonderful advice from the ladies here and it will all be fine.

What is your boyfriend's response to you spending time with his son? Does he encourage it?

I hope things are going great for you!! I've missed ya around here!!

**babynurse** · 05-21-2003, 05:57 PM

Todd is great about me spending time with them...he has told me he hopes we become a family someday. He is extremely supportive and encouraging about the whole thing...and my initial reluctance to become involved with him because he has a child. I am so happy though when I am with them and it scares me because of the abrupt way my last relationship ended, I am scared it will happen again, only this time I would be losing two people I care about! I just have to think positive though and hope that this time, it will work out! Thanks Daphne for your post...even though you didn't have any advice, your support means alot to me.
I have missed being here too, but I am so wrapped up in this new relationship, I am afraid I would be accused of "gushing", lol!

**guest2** · 05-21-2003, 05:59 PM

Theresa,
I'd ask your boyfriend what his son likes to do and then plan something around that. Or better yet, talk to the boy himself when you get a chance. Get to know him. Go out for ice cream (always a big hit with kids) and let him have extra sprinkles!

**Daphne** · 05-21-2003, 06:01 PM

Girl...gush all you want!! We love it!! I'm past that point (which is sad) so I love to hear about others.

Don't be afraid to give your heart again. You just may miss out. But it sounds to me like you are really trying and taking it at the pace you need to take it at which is good!

When do we get to see a picture of Todd? And when is he going to offer some spa deals for us??? lol

He still works for the spa ...right?

**babynurse** · 05-21-2003, 06:08 PM

Haha Daphne, you are so funny! I actually don't have a picture of him! He just left yesterday for New Hampshire for THREE weeks

...so I am moping as we speak, lol! Here is where he is staying....
http://www.wentworth.com/
About the discounts....I am afraid he doesn't have that much pull, lol! Best I get is the hotel shampoos, lol!!!

**heavensent_7** · 05-21-2003, 06:27 PM

Theresa ~ I've missed you!

Assuming the child still has a mother all you need to do is be his friend.

I could go on and on and on about this subject - I've been on both ends!! i.e. met people with kids and had to suffer my ex's new girlfriends with MY kids.

Let me know if you need anything.
Luv ya
Bev. xxx

**babynurse** · 05-21-2003, 06:33 PM

Bev, you are a most wise woman...you have a knack of hitting the nail on the head! You are right, I need to just be his friend...what a concept

I guess I knew that...but wanted to hear from those who have been through it to know if what I feel is okay. Thanks

**Daphne** · 05-21-2003, 06:59 PM

Wow!! That is beautiful!! Can you ever go with him for short visits on these trips?

**babynurse** · 05-21-2003, 09:05 PM

Yes, I was actually supposed to go see him on this trip, but it was postponed and now I can't go due to work....someday I hope to go visit him somewhere!

**milach** · 05-23-2003, 04:05 PM

Heh, heh! Since his hotel is about an hour from me, I can go track him down and get a pic for all of you

J/K, I'm not that psycho and would have alot of explaining to do to DH

I dated a guy for about a year who had an 11 year old (I was 21

) He lived with the mother, so he was around every now and again. Does his son live with him? Maybe you could take him out to get something for Father's Day. Or since Todd travels alot, maybe he'd like some time alone at home- so you could bring his son to the movies (my 3 year old is dying to see Finding Nemo).

And of course, since he is a boy, digging and playing dump trucks in the sadbox will always be a hit!

**babynurse** · 05-23-2003, 10:45 PM

THanks Laura....boy I sure wish I was at your house right now so I could visit him!

The boy does live with his mom, but when Todd is in town he tries to take him as much as possible.
So far, we color, go to the park, play soccer, play with his car toys and have watched some movies....but I was thinking maybe baking and/or decorating cookies with him...that might be something we could do together that he does only with me and we could get to know one another better.
Also it is his birthday in July and I have no clue what a 4 year old boy would really like as a present....any ideas? Thanks

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 05-24-2003, 09:25 PM

Theresa, 4 YO boys are into mass destruction! LOL Seriously, the biggies are:

trains
dinosaurs
Bob the Builder
Duplos
clay or Play Doh (they can cruch anything they make!

)
any vehicles that come to pices when they crash!

Good luck with him. You will do fine!