DS is MAAADDDD at me

[Missy]

Ds is super ticked off at me!! I haven't ever seen him so mad. He and I have been going rounds about picking up his toys, shoes whatever. This week he and i have been particularly having problems. I want him to pick up his toys and blankets, and he doesn't want to. he will go in his room and pick up one or two items and stop. Today i told him I would throw away what he didn't pick up. He picked up one or two things, i told him last chance pick up or I will throw stuff away. he i guess didn't think i would because he left the room and went and turned on the tv. So I moved his bed and began throwing stuff away that I had found under the bed...broken toys, papers, and so on and so on. well, you'd think i was hanging him by his toenails or something, he screamed so much at me. He threw a temper tantrum for over 40 minutes, hitting, screaming throwing himself down, etc. he tried to take the bag, and tried to take stuff out of the bag, and so on. I didn't let him take anything back, and took the bag to the garbage. I feel awful, but for gosh sakes, it was broken toys and ripped papers! anyhow, i still feel awful, and my three year old is ticked off at me big time.

Any suggesetions for next time?? I am not expecting the room of a three year old to be white glove clean, but i do expect him to begin picking up after himself once in a while and i expect him to begin at least picking up during "pick up time".

[gemmbp]

My DS first words were"I'm mad" so I understand! You did the right thing. If there are things you really don't want to throw away,a trash bag in the garage is good! Been there-done that!
I would put him back in his room and shut the door for the duration of the tantrum. My best advice-be consistant. If he turns the TV on-shut it off. Repeat you need to pick up your room or I will throw away what you don't. Don't lose your cool or raise your voice(Yeah that one is HARD) I wouldn't say a word to mine except for repeating what I wanted done. It still works and my youngest is 11.
Good luck the horrible threes are the worst!!!!!

[heavensent_7]

I can't believe it - I just wrote you a BOOK lol and included too many smilies and now it's all gone

I'll come back again when my fingers don't ache! Sorry

[isaacsmommy]

I've heard of this done before, but haven't actually tried it. I think it's a good idea though, and might help teach your 3 year-old responsibility and consequences.

Handle the situation just as you did in future situations, although instead of throwing away good toys, just put them somewhere he can't get to. Then explain that the next time you ask him to pick up, he'll get back one of the toys for every (1, 5, whatever) toy he puts back. You can also come up with various ways he can "earn" back toys (loading dw, watering plants, anything age-appropriate). You should save some tears, and teach some lessons at the same time!

[Milhos]

I have vacuumed many a Barbie accessory, lego pieces, beads from bead kits and have thrown away an entire set of polly pockets. All because dd didn't think I meant it. And I never replaced any of them. If she wanted those things so badly, she would have picked them up. I've even thrown away dress up clothes because she wouldn't put them away. She's 12 now. The last thing I did was a while ago when I told her I was going to put everything on her floor out on the lawn if she didn't pick it up and I did - underwear on top. She doesn't test me anymore.

[mylittle4]

I am doing the same thing in my house next week. They just don't know it yet! I am the same way, I do not expect it white glove clean, but come on I atleast need a path to the closet!

[Karla]

I have done the same with all 3 of my kids....I also told my 16yr old if I went in and had to clean up his room EVERYTHING would go into the trash...he tested me and lost....I took out 3 bags full....
As hard as it is on you...sometimes you have to be tough...oh and yes when they get to be teens they start the testing again...lol

[Queencorrupter]

My son is 12. He has never tested me like that. I hope he never does. You folks are scaring me!