Does anyone have a child with ADD

**Robin** · 09-04-2003, 10:02 PM

Long post - sorry

My ds was tested for add/adhd 2 years ago and we were told he was border line add... Then the following year we were told yes he does. He doesn't have the hyperactivity as in adhd but at school he apperantly has a hard time paying attention. We tried 2 different medications and the second one seemed to work but I just hate looking in his eyes and knowing he is medicated. By the end of school last year he didn't want to take the medicine. He has never taken it over the summer but for the last two shool years he has taken it.

We wanted to try this year without it. We moved and he is in a new school and loves it but we are 3 weeks into the year and the math teacher has called me because he is not turning in homework. The math papers I have seen so far are all A's and B's. I know they are still reviewing last years work but I am not convinced he needs add medicine to get through the work. As far as not turning in homework we have grounded him and it appears to have an impact on him.

I just wondered if anyone else out there had a child with add and what they are using to help the child. I don't want to medicate but if we don't am I doing him more harm by not doing everything I can as a parent to assure he gets a good education. I have thought about homeschooling but I don't think it's for us by the way we do homework together.. We are both frustrated and I hate to admit it but I just don't have the patience.

**Missy** · 09-04-2003, 10:05 PM

I have no advise, but I am sure lots of the other ladies here have some better knowledge of it than I do. Here's some hugs though.

**Mom23boys** · 09-04-2003, 10:08 PM

All 3 of my boys are ADHD. I took the oldest 2 off of medication for 1 year and they almost didn't pass. They had a really hard time, but I wanted to see for myself if they could or couldn't do the work without the meds. I have decided to keep them on it.

I have tried Ritalin, Adderall XR and they are currently on Stattera which is the only medication for ADD/ADHD that is not a narcotic. It seems to be working better than the others.

BUT since you don't want to use the medicine, which I understand, talk to his teachers and tell them you are starting a homework spiral. We do this with my oldest because he has trouble doing his homework and turning it in too.

All they do is write the subject in the spiral and the homework beside the subject and initial it. Then we he gets home, he gives you the spiral or you check his backpack for it and you can see what homework he has for the night. Then you sign it when it is all done. I check my son's off as he does it, which I check his work to make sure he DOES do it. I won't sign it until it is all done. Then he puts the homework in the spiral and takes it back to his teachers.

It has worked for us.

Good luck!

**heavensent_7** · 09-04-2003, 10:18 PM

My son was tested for ADHD and they couldn't decide!

He was tested again and the psychologist decided he had ODD (I can't exactly remember what that stands for now, but I could find out? Whatever it was it sounded horrible!)

He has the same kind of symtoms though.

He was excluded from school (almost) when he was just FIVE and I homeschooled him for 1 1/2 years (until my daughter had 3 strokes) and I just wasn't at home to educate him anymore. NO school in our area wanted to take him because he was so bad and I basically had to 'trick' him into a school!!! (I can explain if you want me to - but I'm tired right now it's 3.12am here LOL)

I have never medicated him and I NEVER will - having said that it is MY choice and I know parents with children with ADHD that almost walk the walls (the kids not them!) and they ARE medicated and it does help them.

I also don't like all these 'new' labels that crop up to diagnose our kids with something 'wrong' with them and IMO there MUST be other ways to deal with things???

That is ONLY my opinion and some children HAVE to be medicated (as my daughter does for her strokes constantly)

I think it is for you as a parent to know what is best for YOUR child and of course to listen to GOOD medical advice IF you need it.

I'm sure this probably wasn't very helpful

But if you would like to talk some more then I'm always available.

to you anyway - I know how hard it is xxxxxxxx

**Katybird** · 09-04-2003, 10:19 PM

Big

to you little sister and another big

for my precious little nephew.

**guest2** · 09-05-2003, 11:38 AM

Robin,
My oldest son is considered borderline ADD, but as his mother and a special education teacher, I know that he has ADD and we've had to adjust things for him so he can succeed. We have not gone the medication route, but something that did help when he ws younger was a cup of coffee in the morning. In some kids with ADD, the caffiene helps calm them and help them concentrate. My son does not have the hyperactivity, but is easily distracted and absolutely looses it if you give him more than one or two directions at a time. We now homeschool all 3 of our children and that has helped him tremendously. He is able to go into his room and do his work without distractions and he no longer feels like a failure. He is a really bright child and would ted to "shut down" if he got overwhelmed. I realize that not everyone will choose to homeschool their child, but it has been the best choice for our family.

**AmyBoz** · 09-05-2003, 11:48 AM

My heart goes out to you. As an educator, I have dealt with so many ADD and ADHD children over the years, and I will tell you that from my experience, they usually are far more successful with the medication than without. It is usually a matter of finding a medication that is right for your particular child. Once again, it's not my child, so it's hard for me to say, but one of our school pyschologists once put it this way to a parent and I think it was phrased beautifully. If your child had a cold, would you not give them cold medication? If they had, as Bev's daughter does, a stroke disorder, would you not medicate them in order to make their life better? You probably would, and this is along the same lines. We've seen that ADD or ADHD goes along with self-esteem. Kids who have been medicated and begin feeling successful in school begin to do better in school anyway because they feel good about themselves. My students who are not medicated and continue to do poorly never feel good about school and lose the desire to even try. Success breeds success. Yet, once again, it's not my child and not my decision and I feel for you that this must be an incredibly hard decision to make.

**simplemom** · 09-05-2003, 04:28 PM

I have no advice but sympathise very much with you. It's not easy for parents or the children, when life is not the straight easy path we'd love it to be...

Good luck. ((hugs))

Lucie

**Robin** · 09-07-2003, 10:40 PM

Thank you so much each one of you, sometimes it is just such a relief to hear other thoughts and views. I received a progress report and in Art, PE, and of all things, social studies he has A's. But Math and Language Arts 73 and 76. We are starting a 'homework spiral for math and language arts. I have emailed his teachers asking they sign it with me every day. I am also going to try the coffee, that makes so much sense knowing what is in the medicines for ADD. And Amy you are so right that's sounds like the exact conversation I had with a teacher before the second testing. Thanks again you are all wonderful.