oppisite sex friends?

**melina123** · 01-13-2004, 06:01 PM

Do you think it is okay for a married women to have a friendship with a single male?

**simplemom** · 01-13-2004, 06:24 PM

I would not feel comfortable. Pierre and I have common male friends, but we see this friend together.

**guest2** · 01-13-2004, 07:22 PM

I think it's fine as long as they're a friend to both you and your spouse or SO. My husband and I are very careful to not ever have me be alone with our single male friends or him with our single female friends. We never want to give the impression of impropriaty or anything else. In our small town, if you are even seen talking to someone other than your spouse, the rumor mill gets going and the next thing you know you find out that some people believe a false rumor about you having an affair!

Gotta love small town gossip! NOT!

**Dixie** · 01-13-2004, 08:38 PM

I would want to avoid temptation and as the Bible says,'the appearance of evil", so I wouild not spend time with a male friend outside my dh's presence.

**AmyMCGS** · 01-14-2004, 09:51 AM

DH and I both have friends of the opposite sex, but we don't see them often. These are friends we've had since high school or college and see maybe a couple of times a year, usually with both of us present.

I do have a standing lunch "date" (can't think of a more appropriate word there~ definitely nothing romantic implied!!) once a year with a male friend of mine. That friend and I have done this for many, many years, and it's usually the only time all year we see each other. DH has absolutely no problem with it~ he is invited, too, but usually doesn't go.

I read a book once (I think it was one of Stormie Martin's but I'm not positive) that said you should never ever have friends of the opposite sex because that takes away from your relationship with your spouse. I completely disagree with this. As long as you are not sharing things with your friend instead of your spouse, a platonic friendship can be fine, and I think it's a healthy thing.

**milach** · 01-14-2004, 10:39 AM

Nope- opens too many doors for hurt feelings, misunderstandings, mistrust and jealousy to be felt by the woman's DH (or wife if it was a married man and a single woman). While I'm sure these type of friendships can and do work out- I don't even want to touch it with a 10 foot pole.

**canadian gardener** · 01-14-2004, 10:54 AM

no, I don't want to give anyone a misunderstanding, and I think it safest and best all round to put my energies into my marriage, and my female friends with whom I share a lot of laughter, tears, ups and downs.

Dh's men friends are nice, but they don't hold a candle to my friends for understanding what I'm going thru or seeing things thru female eyes.

**mommy2three** · 01-14-2004, 12:17 PM

Originally posted by milach
Nope- opens too many doors for hurt feelings, misunderstandings, mistrust and jealousy to be felt by the woman's DH (or wife if it was a married man and a single woman). While I'm sure these type of friendships can and do work out- I don't even want to touch it with a 10 foot pole.

**Missy** · 01-19-2004, 07:07 PM

Dh has an opposite sex friend that drives me crazy. I know dh is faithful and would never stray. I know it with every fiber of my being. But she spends a lot of time trying to make it LOOK like there might be something there. It drives me crazy.

so therefore I agree with Laura "Nope- opens too many doors for hurt feelings, misunderstandings, mistrust and jealousy to be felt by the woman's DH (or wife if it was a married man and a single woman). While I'm sure these type of friendships can and do work out- I don't even want to touch it with a 10 foot pole."

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 01-20-2004, 12:42 AM

We both have friends of the opposite sex. Margaret (DH' friend) is a great person and a former coworker of DH. She is happily married and she and DH get together for lunch on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, she and a male mutual friend helped DH pick out my Christmas presents--a pair of ruby and a pair of Amethyst earrings! DH would be lost without Margaret's help on these things.

I worked in male-dominated fields for YEARS, so have/had many male friends, both mattied and single. When my friend had a shower for us for our first child, we had as many men as women at the party!

As long as all involved are just friends, I see nothing wrong with it.

**mrscornbread** · 01-20-2004, 01:00 AM

I think that it is just asking for trouble, it has never worked on either parts for me.

**PrairieRose** · 01-20-2004, 09:56 AM

I think it could be dangerous on many levels. I wouldn't want to be fodder for gossip and I would never want to do anything that would give my husband any reason to even wonder about my intentions.