Food for thought

**melina123** · 01-22-2004, 12:14 PM

Here is an article I found that you may or may not find helpful. I thought I would let you decide:

http://enotalone.com/article/2009.html

What does everyone think?

Melina

**Sara Noel** · 01-22-2004, 01:01 PM

wellllll. lol

I don't think I have a very mainstream opinion on this, but here it goes.

First of all, what that article says has some merit;however, you also need to take some other things into consideration.

Women don't become nags overnight. Why does a woman nag? Primarily, they nag because their husband's aren't doing their fair share. Some may argue that when a marriage comes down to scorekeeping that there are many issues that need to be addressed. I feel that ok, life isn't fair but let me tell you this much...I fully expect my husband to be an equal partner in our marriage and raising our children. When he fails to be an equal partner, I am going to say something. Call it what you want. nagging, b*tching, reminding, discussing, whatever.

I'm not going to don some frilly outfit and smile and look like I've got it all under control and life is peachy. Not for him and not for anyone.

I grow tired of the whole gender role "thang" of women tolerate, forgive, nurture, hold hands, get in touch with their inner sex pot whatever etc for their man...meanwhile the men can do their career and come home prop their feet on the ole couch and relax themselves into slumber. Sorry it "don't" fly like that in my household.

I have become a nag and I will continue to nag when he doesn't do the things he should do as a husband and a father. I ask nicely the first 150 times and then I'll b*tch. Or let's change roles. How about I prop my feet up on the couch and declare the day as I'm going to be a stereotypical man day. I'm going to do the bare minimum and then claim how tired I am. PUHLEEZE. Oh and he better smile and be happy or I'll go find me a younger stud. rofl Get real!

How about we all just treat each other with mutual respect and call it a day? Be a team and a team player and do things that help one another. Plain and simple. No nagging...none of the feminine wiles bs and cut right to the chase and be two adults doing what it takes to get responsibilities done. Not one responsible person and one selfish child.

Now I understand that this article is mostly talking about unhappy whining women that dump their unhappiness onto their man and expect him to solve their problems, but how tiring it is to read articles about women being more feminine for their men or they'll roam and find another. Here's a wake up call....she's gonna eventually nag too when he can't grow up and be an adult. lol

I respect the male-female gender roles, but there's a limit. I am who I am. How about being partners in this life as it's intended and maybe these men wouldn't hear all the "nagging".

Let's see more articles on how men can be better partners. Let's see them smile more often, love who they are, be content with what they have, and not need a woman to lift them, carry them, hold their little hands, boost them daily...puhleeze.

Sorry, it's inexcusable to me to view my husband as some infinite little boy. Nope...sorry. If he wants to hop the fence over it because he can't grow up. Goforit. I don't leash him to stay.

And for those women that feel differently. Whatever works for you and your marriage is all that counts.

I'll say this though-I'm not his mommy.

For all the women that suffered to get me to where I am today....
not on your life.

I'm going to go practice batting my eyelashes in the mirror. See if I can coax my husband with my feminine wiles to remember trash day is Thursday. roflmao As if! I better get into my "flirtatious self".
NOT.

**homesteadmamma** · 01-22-2004, 01:49 PM

Sara, I couldn't agree more. You said it bang on!!!

**SewCrafty** · 01-22-2004, 01:54 PM

Sara!

I think that lady needs to come out of the 1950's and into the 21st century.

I also thought maybe the article should have used the politically correct version of she/he, because this can go both ways.

I did get a good

though!

**melina123** · 01-22-2004, 02:26 PM

I didn't relate to the article that much. My DH is SUPER involved with the family life thing. He loves every minute of it and really does more then his fair share. He is the type of guy who comes home and tells me to take a break and then he gives 150% to the family until everyone is tucked in for the night.

The one thing I did get out of the article is that he does measure his success through my and DD happiness. And I've been felling down a bit so I need to find a way to be happy in our current situation. It's up to me to find ways to be content.

Melina

**Missy** · 01-22-2004, 02:37 PM

Sara, I agree 100%

**Darlene** · 01-22-2004, 07:11 PM

Lol, Sara are you"glowing" yet?

I do agree that attitude means alot but if things are hitting the fan I'll take all the help I can get. We're in it together, ups & downs.

**Guest1** · 01-22-2004, 07:28 PM

YOU GO SARA!!

(and the crowd goes wild!)

**Sara Noel** · 01-22-2004, 08:55 PM

Originally posted by melina123
I didn't relate to the article that much. My DH is SUPER involved with the family life thing. He loves every minute of it and really does more then his fair share. He is the type of guy who comes home and tells me to take a break and then he gives 150% to the family until everyone is tucked in for the night.

The one thing I did get out of the article is that he does measure his success through my and DD happiness. And I've been felling down a bit so I need to find a way to be happy in our current situation. It's up to me to find ways to be content.

Melina

I fully agree that it's up to each individual to find ways to be happy and if a person is relying on their spouse for that...they'll have a long and foolish wait.

Your dh sounds like several fantasies I've had. lol I can dream.

Gabe is a workaholic and does his best;however, he has room for improvement. lol That's where I come in. bwhahaha I crack myself up.

I'll admit that I'm hard on him, but not just for the sake of complaining. I fight to keep things rolling as they should be and I hope he will continue to do the same for me, as well. Sometimes, I pull more weight and that's fine, but I won't do it solo for long without a gentle or not so gentle reminder.

I don't sit there counting ok now I did this, this, this, and this and what have you done for me lately? I do remind him occasionally that he has two arms and legs though. lol

**This is dish...this is the dishwasher...any questions?** rofl