For those of you with little ones???

[crdurham]

How do you find enough hours in the day? The days seem to fly by...we get up...eat, sleep, play, poop, bath, story, bed and its time to get up again... I am getting better at getting things done, but I still can't find the time to get all the laundry, clean the house really good, have some me time, spend time with dh, etc, etc.

I feel like if ds if awake..I should be spending every moment with him...dh watches him alot when he's home and we spend family time...I just never seem to have enough time to get everything done. if he's sleeping, I don't want make to much noise and I try to scurry around to get things done....

I just wondered how everyone else does it??

[paelthom]

Cornelia,
It doesn't get done. Even though Ryan is 10, I still find myself spending a lot of time with her when I need to spend it on the house. As your little guy gets older, he will entertain himself more but for now just go with the flow and enjoy him. Make sure you get rest whenever you can and just know that very few moms of little ones have super clean houses and all the laundry done. (or moms of older ones for that matter)

[canadian gardener]

me time????????????????? I don't remember that being part of that age and stage. Me time???? oh I remember.

I stayed up late one night to read a book, because dh and ds were in bed (this was before dd who is now 21 so that tells you something) and couldn't concentrate I was so tired.

LOL ok, I'll get real.

You are doing great.

that me time bit, I'm only half joking. I remember staying up late and being beat the next day, just to have time without a hyperactive toddler in my face.

I used to lock the doors, and let him run free thru the house. (I did child proof it) and I felt so guilty for ignoring him for certain times of the day but it kept me sane.

Sometimes I would lie in the room on the floor, with ds beside me playing his toys while I snoozed half awake and caught up on sleep lost the night before.

With the second it got easier because they tend to entertain each other.

The housecleaning -- well that is where I started desperately learning my little tricks and routines and when I discovered dejunking, that helped me a lot, but by that time dd was out of diapers anyway.

I don't recall perfectly clean house or laundry or much in the way of me time but I do have 2 healthy happy adults to show for it all. 24 and 21.

(me time is more important than cleaning btw it's a sanity issue-- so do take it, that is where you regain a sense of perspective not to mention some energy comes back)

--try to get your dh to take the little darling(s) off your hands for a once a week date for you to get out and do more than just the grocery shopping.

Note to young mothers, grocery shopping without the kids is great, but it isn't me time.

Dh's need to either provide sitter service for me time (and grocery's too, but not on the same day) or PAY for a sitter to come in for you.

And news flash, it is perfectly OK to hire a sitter for one morning a week, or drop kids off in a preschool/daycare for a morning off to recharge batteries, go shopping for clothes/makeup/fun stuff or go meet a freind for coffee..

Your kids won't curl up and die. More importantly neither will you.

And after me time, you need couple time out. Sitters and a date or just a quiet evening, with baby in the crib hopefully asleep and you two enjoying a movie from the rental place and some popcorn etc.

Hugs hon, you are a great mum.

[canadian gardener]

forgot to mention, that guilt is normal, but if you don't leave them alone to play (you can still be in the room with them, but reading a magazine, doing your own thing), they never learn to entertain themselves and that is a valuable life skill.

All jokes aside, kids do need to learn that boredom is their own choice. There are books, toys and an entire world to explore. Entertaining themselves, is how they start to learn, explore their environment.

Vital to have for a healthy curious child so don't feel bad about ignoring them several times a day.

Now about naps. You don't need to save those moments for work. That is for rest for mums too if they need it or if they just need a coffee and paint their nails (me time)

Working at various chores while baby is awake is fine, I used to put dd in the snugli carrier and do a lot of odds and ends. Later she would happily play on her tummy or back on a blanket.

ds was hyper from tiny, and wouldn't stay in one place. He crawled early, and he was FAST, nor did he like the snugli, plus he weighed way more in 6 weeks than dd did for months.

So with him, I'd let him roam in a part of the room I was in, then pick him up and take him with me.

They both liked the vacuum cleaner. It is rather soothing for some babies actually.

I do remember never having more than about 3 to 5 minutes unbroken. I learnt to do stuff in small bits even then

but it wasn't spotless or even company ready. It was an awful mess for the first 9 months to a year for both of them.

[frugalmel]

It gets better. You don't have to entertain your little one in all his waking hours. Find a balance. You do deserve time to yourself. Don't let guilt get to you. For example: While you are working on laundry, put your ds on a blanket and let him play with toys/soft books, etc. You are in the same room (supervising) , but you are getting things done. Does that make sense?

[Missy]

can't say it any better than they have!

[aylasmommy]

Yup, I never realized how time consuming just taking care of one little itty bitty baby could be until I was actually there doing it

I have gotten used to toys all over the place (but picked up every morning) and once a week I always make sure to do a deep cleaning through the whole house, and I can look at a sparkling house for oh, 10 minutes...unless she's napping

One time saver that helped was once she was able to sit up and play in the tub, I could clean the bathroom while I watched her. Then I realized I could do other things while she played in there like my makeup, sorting coupons and all that. (of course I did spend time playing with her and reading to her as well) But sometimes she could entertain herself in there for nearly an hour!

Hmm what else...I guess I just kind of go with the flow...sometimes it helps just to get out of the messy house and go walking...then when i come back in it somehow doesn't seem so bad anymore.

It also really helps that carls mom takes ayla for a long weekend about once every 6-8 weeks.

Oh, but definitly don't try to be that quiet during the naps or they will become dependent on needing quiet when they nap. Does that make sense? I mean don't bring a rock concert in your house...but vacuuming and doing dishes and some not too loud music or tv should be just fine.

Also like was said before, you don't need to spend every waking minute with your baby I felt guilty at first and then I read somewhere how it is really good for them to play independently. You'll realize later most likely(like i did) that they could play foreverrrrr and it's just not possible to keep up with their energy level, so it'd be good for them to know that you won't always be playing with them.

I was always trying to fit housecleaning in during her naps as a newborn, and honest to god I wish SO much that I'd listened to everyones advice about napping while she did. ALthough I was kind of unlucky in that everytime I DID lay down about 5 minutes later she'd start crying! LOL (oh which I did find out later that she does cry in her sleep, so I stopped rushing in asap after every little peep)

Other than that, it really does fly by...even when I am organized ...the weeks and days just zooom by. But at least I'm not frazzled like I was in the beginning.

[AmyMCGS]

They've all said it so well... but I am like you, Cornelia, still struggling to find the balance. I thought when I went from full-time to part-time work at the nursing home that I would have all kinds of time at home to get things done~ ha! Some days, if Maria doesn't feel good, it is after noon before I even get a shower, and then it isn't until DH comes home that I can even throw a load of laundry in. Other days, I can turn her loose in the family room (which is gated) and I can get things done in other rooms. It just depends on the day. I just go with the flow... if it gets done, great, if not, I will do it later.

[dz_blonde_girl]

Is the baby sleeping all night? I think that makes a difference.

I get up an hour before my kids and get the laundry in. I fold it and put it away when supper is cooking.

I stay up for an hour after the kids go to bed to clean the kitchen. Sometimes I stay up another hour for "me".

I take a nap for an hour in the afternoon with the kids.

My kids entertain themselves pretty good. I play with them after lunch, before their nap, around diaper changes and during "breaks". I let dd "help" with the housework and the baby follows us around.

It'll start coming together for you as the baby becomes more independent. I finally let ds#2 go in the tub last night. I wish I'd have taken the camera in there with me. He had a ball. I only had to catch him twice!

[duckduckgoose007]

For the first few years of marraige, I had 2-3 tiny ones at a time. I did all my cleaning at night, except the laundry. I did that all day long---everyday!. I took my bath at around midnight [after all the cleaning & scrubbing & waxing] before whoever was the "Baby" woke for their 2am. feeding. I guess I got about 4 hours sleep a night. It was tough but I was strong & young then. It helped that I was a night-hawk & still am!

[lucy979]

What you mean going to the grocery store doesn't count as 'me' time? All this time I thought it did! LOL

Seriously, all the other ladies have given great advice. Hang in there! It does get easier and better. I do not have a clean house, far from it. But my kids are happy. As they get older they can play by themselves for at least a few minutes at a time. Don't feel guilty. It is good for them! And you.

Enjoy them while they are young. They don't stay that way for long!

[Jerseygirl]

Laci-you get to go to the grocery store alone???? Typical day around here--5:30 dh up and out
6:15 I'm up and showering, catch the a.m. news, straighten up upstairs bathroom set out toothbrushes for the littles
7:00-7:45 wake the 3 littles-Lg and Md dress themselves from clothes laid out night before with min. assistance. Sm needs total assist.
7:45-8:00 blueberry waffles in the toaster oven, sippie cups of milk, vitamins popped into mouths, jackets on and out to the minivan--waffles and milk in the car.
8:20 drop the littles at school
8:30 I'm at work
Try to fit in as much home stuff that I can at work-fax drs and caseworkers, take calls from law guadians and on my lunch break organize coupons.
4:15 pick littles up
4:45-5:30 grocery shop or cook a real dinner, it's either or, grocery shopping nights are likely to be a quick night of leftovers or pasta dish. If I'm shopping the littles are with, if I'm coooking they are in the living room playing with dh
6:00-6:45 dinner
6:45-7:30 play time, stories etc.

[Jerseygirl]

got cut off
7:30-8:15 baths, bed time routines etc
My only way to keep sane is having everyone in their beds by 8:30--then my house gets clean, laundry gets done etc.
10:00 dh gets some attention and I'm asleep by 11. I keep hearing it gets better.

[AmyBoz]

No one can do it all perfectly. No one expects a sparkling clean house where children live. Everyone else has said it wonderfully. As they get older, they'll even be able to help. Julia will be three next week, but she has certain chores that she does that do make my life a little easier, because even though she doesn't do them perfectly, she and I can do them together and I know where she is and what she's doing while I'm making dinner or stuff like that. She sets the table each night (I re-arrange a little when she's not looking), she helps unload anything plastic from the dishwasher and puts it away, she helps me put away her laundry that goes in her dresser, and helps me put away mine and dh's laundry that goes in our dressers (she wants to help with the hanging clothes, but doesn't quite get the "hang" of it yet.) There's a lot that she can't help with, and that stuff gets done when it gets done. I'm learning to relax a bit about the whole housekeeping thing. To be honest, I'd rather play with Julia in a messy house than have her be 15 and be missing the days when she WANTED to spend time with me and remembering that I was cleaning instead of playing.

[bamamomto4]

Having 4 kids,some days the cleaning gets done,some days it doesn't. I have 2 in school and 2 at home but the ones I have at home are very demanding I try to get laundry started soon as I get up but sometimes the clothes don't get put in the dryer till hours later and maybe won't get folded till the next day lol
When I had Jackson,I had the hardest time trying to make everything work. I thought I was going to go crazy.I'm one of these women who has to have everything done a certain way,everything has it's place,everything near perfect etc etc....I just couldn't do it anymore. I have to let things slide
And again when I had Jayme....having 4 kids is HARD work!! I'm lucky that Steve helps as much as he does but still,it's hard.

Jayme is just now to the age where she'll play in the playpen.Some days she still screams if I leave the room,but she's getting better at entertaining herself.

Its hard when they're so small but they do grow up and you'll miss these days of sitting and holding him and him depending on you for everything

The best advice I was given is....

"Take one day at a time". If the laundry doesn't get done today...there's always tomorrow...