Do you get along with your sisters or brothers?

[paelthom]

Whenever my sister calls, someone around me always asks "how much did she want" or "what did she want". Does that give you an idea of our relationship? I love her as a sister but I am not friends with her at all. I do help her occassionally but there is never an end to what she wants. Mind you she's married and has 3 kids but is still the eternal leech. She is 5 years younger and she is a miserable person inside.

I have 1 brother in AZ and we are okay with each other. There is just a huge gap in our ages - he's 12 years older, so we didn't really grow up together and he's always lived far away (hates it back here). I see him at least once a year sometimes more.

I have another brother who is 17 years older and lives in a nursing home. I take care of him and visit him all the time. He is like my other child and is spoiled rotten. He was hit by a drunk driver when he was 5 and has some limitations. Up until I left home at 18, he lived at home with the rest of us. However as time has gone on his body has needed more care than we could give him at home. He's a very happy, well balanced person. He takes care of himself and his room and does his own thing. He loves to make necklaces out of beads and shoestrings. He must have made 1000+ over the years. My rotten sister NEVER goes to see him and hated him when he did live at home. She is such a pain.

Oh I turned this into a rant didn't I.

[simplemom]

No, no, Pat...you didn't turn it into a rant. It's understandable to feel this way, since the way you say it...your sister isn't too kind with you...It must have a real rough time for your family, when your brother got hit by a car...I'm glad he has a happy life, even though his limitions. Thank-you for sharing your story with me, Pat.

Thank-you Julia for sharing your story, too. I'm also sorry you had a difficult relationship with your sister, before. I'm glad it is getting better for both of you.

Debbie, my heart breaks for you. You are one strong and special lady, you know that? Why would your close family...your mom... not see how beautiful you are. Thank God you have GW's family to love you.

Thank-you Debbie and Jayne to have also shared your stories with me. I see I am not alone to have difficult relationships with a sister or brother....

Darelene, you are absolutely right...*We must try to live the best we can, surrounding ourselves with people who give us what we need and help us live well, laugh often & love much.* Thanks for your inspiration.

Thank-you everyone for sharing a bit of your life with me. Thank-you for your encouragements. It helps to cope a bit more. All is not lost. I will put my hope that my relationship with my sister will get better with time.

hugs to you all.

[sunshine]

I have an older brother and a younger sister.

My brother is 5 1/2 years older than me--- we HATED each other when we were growing up. My brother was an only child/only grandchild until I was born. He tossed me in a coal burning stove when I was 2 weeks old (in Feb, in IL) fortunatly my mom saw it happen and grabbed me out, and he'd wrapped me in a blanket first. He continued to torment me until I got married 20 years later. He and my sister used to gang up against me-- they'd tell mom and dad that I did something and since it was 2 of them against just one of me--- I was the one in trouble. My parents didn't figure it out until I was in Jr. High and my brother went off to college.

My sister is 2 years younger than me. We got along pretty well until I went to college. Then she got involved in drugs/ alcohol/sex. She started treating my parents really bad and I lost all respect for her. She still does all those things and verbally/emotionally abuses my parents. I tolerate her for my parents sake, but we really have little in common otherwise.

[Sinclairwife]

I am the baby of our family, 2 sisters and 2 brothers. My oldest brother I tolerate, I love him but he has used our parents terribly, my oldest sister has an ego you wouldn't believe and I have to tread lightly around her and try not to say anything she might construe as an insult (major chip on her shoulder), my other sister is my favorite, she is 10 years older than I and I remember her taking me swimming when I was little, she always had the best music on. lol
She is living in a nursing home, she has mental problems and on top of that she has MS.

My other brother is just 4 yrs older than me, he has always been treated as second best to our older brother by my dad and that makes me very protective of him even though he is older.

As a whole we always fight when we get together, on rare occaissions we get along, Mom & Dad's 50th was one of those times.

We all live close to each other; within 150 miles.

[Michele Annette]

Reading all of your sibling stories is just so touching. I admire much of your strength! I have one younger brother. He is four years younger than I and he is so dependent on my parents that is just drives me insane! He is going to be 30 this year and he is married, has one child (my beautiful Niece) and they all live with my parents. They are currently trying to buy a house, but all of his life he hasn't been able to do anything by himself...ie, get an apartment, a job, general life stuff. I could go into all the details, but to tell you the truth, it's just exhausting for me to do that. When I go to visit my parents they like to shower me with gifts to "make up" for all the stuff they do for Mike and his family. That bothers me too! I don't need stuff to make me feel happy and I tell them so. I tease Mike sometimes on the phone about living with Mom and Dad forever and wherever they move he follows, but I do love him and he loves me. We talk on the phone once a week and it's usually an okay conversation, but Mike doesn't do well with lots of things that I'm interested in, which is fine, but makes it so that 95% of the time the conversation is dominated by him and I am bored to death. This may sound hurtful, but my brother is at a reading level of the third grade and so there just isn't much to talk about. One year DH and I let him live with us for a little while (when he was single) to see how he would like living in VT. Well, after a while I laid down the law that he need to start looking for an apartment. That was the first time I saw my brother REALLY mad at me. Let's just say DH didn't like that very much and he did find his own apartment. It was reasonable rent, DH had found him a good job and after a month of living in his new apartment he just couldn't do it on his own. He had set up a budget and everything, but he didn't feel that he could do it. He didn't even want to try. He never gave it a chance! My parents expect so much of me because I don't have a learning disability, but it gets very frustrating after all of these years! DH is an only child so he doesn't understand any of this and he actually feels mad towards my parents for them giving everything to Mike. It's not about money or stuff!! Oh, sometimes it just drives me crazy and I just have to back away from my family for a little while. I love my parents so much and Mom and I are close, but that is HER BOY! Ugh!

[simplemom]

....I realize that I am not alone to live a difficult family situation. It also touches me very much to hear your hurt and pains with your brothers and sisters.... Thank-you very much for sharing a part of your life....I believe that sometimes talking about how we feel and talking about difficult issues help us heal or at least may help us to cope...

With all my heart, I wish that whatever separated you from a sister or brother, may one day reslove itself and that you can be close again....and I could add that I wish the same for myself.

Courage to you all

[Katybird]

I have 2 sisters and 1 brother that I grew up with. I am close to both sisters, they are great women and I admire both of them. One is 5 years younger and lives about 120 miles away, the other is 7 years younger is only about 25 miles away. I don't see them as often as I would like but I value the time I spend with them. My brother lives about 125 miles away and even though we were close when we were growing up and I still love him we are not close at all now. We just do not have anything in common and really don't enjoy each others company. He is a very negative type of person.

I have a brother that my Mother put up for adoption at birth, he is 3 years younger than me. My Mother found him about 8 years ago and even though everyone tried to maintain a family relationship it just never quite felt right. I do think of him as a acqaintance but I really don't think of him as a brother. I sometimes feel guilty for not feeling more towards him but he tried to mooch off of my Mother when she first found him as if she "owed" him a lifetime of money and gifts. He was adopted by a great family and was loved and treated well, he was not lacking for anything as a child. I actually sometimes think that it would have been better for my Mom if she had not found him at all.

I also have a 1/2 sister that lives in Germany that I just found out about a few years ago. My father was stationed in Germany during the 60s and he had an affair with her Mother. I guess he was sent back to the states before she had a chance to tell him she was pregnant. Several years ago, the daughter contacted a television show (the German equivalent of the Oprah show from what I gather) and they helped her find my Father. They offered to fly him over there to meet her but at the time his health was not good and he could not go. She did eventually come over here to some of her other relatives that live in the US and he went to Alabama to meet her. I have not ever met her but our daughers are the same age and they emailed each other for a while but they have not had any contact for a while. I think my Dad still gets an occasional email from her though. I would like to meet her someday.

[KKCondrey]

My brother is 4 and a half years older than me and growing up we fought all the time. Of course since I was the baby I always blamed him for all our fights and I was a tattle tale also....lol

Then the summer my dad sat us down and said he and mom were splitting up we started getting along. I can't believe it took my parents divorcing to value my relationship with my brother.

We talk a couple times a month and use e-mail the rest of the time.

[frugalmel]

I have 3 half brothers and 2 half sisters. My parents were married to other people, divorced, met, married and had me. The closest sibling in age to me is 16yrs older. So basically I was an only child growing up. I haven't spoken to most of my siblings since my parents funerals. I do talk occasionally to my 1/2 brother in CA. He and his wife took me in after my dad died and I decided not to stay with my step-mom. A couple of them I don't even know where they are.

I am closer to dh's family. His younger sister and brother on his dad's side are like my brother and sister. They are truly a blessing to me.

Family can be hard. to all who need it.