Do you get along with your sisters or brothers?

[simplemom]

I have one sister only....and we are not close. It doesn't work... I am so sad. We just spoke on the phone now, again...and she had to hang up quickly...

How about you....?

[canadian gardener]

Yes I do now. I have one sister but Lucie, it wasn't till she made some big changes in her life and quit going down a very self destructive path that she could talk with me without getting mad and losing her temper.

Once when I was in nursing school, I'd come home for a visit. (dad kept her for a while longer than me, and she'd come home to him even after he sold her horse, moved away and told her to get herself a place at a boarding house to live in another community)

I remember not instantly agreeing with her on something and she hauled off and punched my glasses off my face. Both she and my dad back then couldn't stand people not to agree with them on stuff. You couldn't even politely and quietly agree to disagree. Believe me I tried.

Well to make a long story short, Dad blamed me for breaking my glasses till my sister confessed what she'd done. Hot head but honest she has always been.

OK Dad and she apologized finally. But that kind of behaviour was ALL the time.

It wasn't my fault. They were strange.

And with my sister it changed when she changed. A bunch of nuns got hold of her at a time in her early 20's and she was at the end of herself.

If Dr Phil had asked, and howz it workin for ya? she'd have burst in tears.

The nuns made her give her life over to God, accept Jesus as her saviour and repent from her literally wicked ways. They worked with her, and she stuck with it.

After a few months, she called me and I noticed the change.

After a year she was a completely different person, one whom I am proud to be related to, and I can call one of my closest friends.

God changed her. I like her now, but it wasn't that way for the first oh boy about 21 or 22 years of her life.

She wasn't fun to live near let me tell you.

And the hard part is, I was always looking to see if I could have done anything different to avoid the fights. Well short of agreeing with stuff I couldn't agree to as a Christian, and compromising who I was and becoming someone different, I couldn't please her at all.

It's hard.

That was when I taught myself to knit, in those years after I left home and needed time to think and pray over her.

I spent a lot of time praying and knitting. God changed her. I sure couldn't.

HUGS Lucie, it's hard.
Love
Margery

[simplemom]

Oh Margery. I'm sorry to hear about the difficult relationship with your sister. You must be happy that you are close now...but I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you, aslo...and to forgive her....Do you have more than one sister?....

I don't know why...but family relationships are so complicated sometimes....don't you think....

[canadian gardener]

Just one sister, and because she is all I've got, that relationship was so hard earlier and has become so precious now.

Our dad had a hard time after our mother died when i was 14 and my sister was 11. He began drinking and he really wasn't sane in that time. He is a charming man, and has lots of good qualities but he fights with people and has driven off many friends in his life. I like to talk with him on the phone, and have some visits but it's like walking on eggshells.

And walking on eggshells is what it's like when you have a family member that you want to keep in touch with, but they have unpredictable behaviour for whatever reason, drinking, pschiatric disorders or flat out behaviour problems. Difficult people.

It's hard because they are family. If I wasn't related to dad or my sister as she used to be, I'd be polite and all, but I would never allow anyone who behaved like that to get too close.

My sister now, I could and I do spend week long visits with no problems. I miss her company and I love to spend time with her. NOW. NOT THEN.

Family is family. Some are also friends, but some is just family.

[Mom23boys]

I have one sister and we get along better now than when we were kids.

[forestdale]

I have one sister, our parents are dead, and we get along very well. BUT!... when we were younger, we are now 56 and 58, we didn't get along. We didn't really fight, we ignored each other. I was much more wild than she, she married and settled down when she was 22, I married when I was 30.

I think sisters are often very competitive when they are younger. Sister-love is a state you grow into.

When my sister's dh died last year, I went to her immediately and stayed there for over a week. I helped with everything, including the funeral. When we left to come home, we embraced and we both said at the same time: I love you. It was the first time we'd ever said it to each other. Now it's said nearly every week and over the past year we've grown closer and closer.

So Lucie, give your relationship time - it's a long term thing. Hopefully, if you both still want it later in life you'll have a wonderful relationship with your sister that might well be the closest relationship you have outside your marriage.

Margery, the more I read of your posts, the more I like you. Hugs.

[Missy]

my brother is easily one of my very best friends. I concider him one of the most intelligent, composed, and respectful people I know. Now that being said, it is my father i haven't been that close with. But my brother is a great person, I can't imagine him not being in my llife.

[simplemom]

Yes you're right Margery....sometimes family can be friends, but sometimes family is just family....I feel I have always been careful how I speak with her for so many years....she gets upset for so little if we disagree...and we don't agree about my parents, who live in the country and she wants them to move closer to us...but I think it would just finish him off to move here....but there is so much more....sigh...

anyways...I guess, like you said, Bethany, our relationship is growing...maybe later in life we will eventually conect somehow....

Melissa, that is great that you are close to your brother...but I'm sorry that it's your dad you don't get along with. I know you talked about him in the past and I can understand why...(((hugs)))

Family relationships are truly not as simple as we wish they could be....

[Julia Kimber]

I have one brother and one sister Lucie and they are twins, I'm the eldest. I don't see them of course as they are in England and I'm in Australia.

When we were kids we'd play together even though I am 5 years older than they are. My brother and I stayed close as we grew up but my sister started to be really spiteful and sarcastic towards me and she ran a bit wild too. Just before I came to Australia, things weren't that good between us but we were civil.

Three years ago my son got married and she came over for the wedding. I wasn't looking forward to that at all! But it was like being with a different person! She couldn't say enough nice things about me. Although I still couldn't feel much towards her, (my feelings for her had been practically destroyed by her nastiness towards me,) we got on better and I found she'd changed from the spiteful, selfish girl she'd been. She kept saying how many mistakes she'd made in her life.

Since then we have both got the internet and email most days. She's always sending me e-cards saying how happy she is that I'm her sister etc. and she's always sending me gifts! My love for her is growing again like when we were kids and although we are not alike in the things we like to do (She is more extrovert than me) we do find we have a lot in common, the main thing being of course that we are sisters!

Julia

[Guest1]

I have a brother 10 years my senior - I haven't seen or heard from him since our father's funeral....

I have a brother 20 years my junior - we've spoken about 10 words in the last 2 years....

My mother & I last spoke on the phone in January - she called to tell me that she couldn't send me anything for my birthday and stated that she had bought tires for her car for my birthday present....

My father is gone - he was my best buddy - lost him 4 years ago today....

I really feel like the only family I have is GW's & my FV family....

It's tough Lucie - sorry you're going through this.....

[Julia Kimber]

That's so very sad Debbie, I wish there was something I could do to help!
You've always got us, your friends, here at the village!

Julia

[Darlene]

Family relationships are indeed complicated and really can tug at our emotions.

I only have 2 sisters left (parents a brother & sister gone) and I'm the oldest. Well one sister I love & get along well with and one I don't. We spoke once since my sister died last Jan.

You can pick your friends but can't pick your family, for better or worse your given what your given. The only thing we can do is keep the good stuff and toss the bad. We must try to live the best we can, surrounding ourselves with people who give us what we need and help us live well, laugh often & love much.

[isaacsmommy]

I have two sisters, both older - one by 8 years and one by 5. I'm very close to my middle sister and have been my whole life. My oldest sister hated me when I was little (always getting into her things and stuff like that) and I would have to say things only got better between us when she became pregnant with my niece 9 years ago. Since then we've had a very loving relationship, although not as close as I wish.

[Jayne]

Lucie, Iam so sorry your relationship with your sis is not good... all of you in this thread.... I have 4 sisters one brother, I am the baby....there is a big gap between the three oldest, all girls, and my brother sister and me.....

I am closest to the second oldest sister(her husband is the one who is terminally ill)...she practically raised me....mom had me at 45 and was burned out, so my sis took over....sis's oldest son is more like a brother to me because I am only 2 years older than him.....

I get along well with the rest, except my siter that is closest in age to me(4 years older)....she can be very cruel, self-centered, and quite opinionated....I have tried to have a relationship with her, but it is always one -sided....its sad cause we live close to each other, and the rest live far away......

[guest2]

I have 1 sister who is the same age as I am (she was adopted into our family when we were both in 10th grade) and she lives in Tahiti. I have not seen her since Christmas of 1981 and I miss her terribly. She and I used to fight quite a bit, but we loved each other and were fiercly loyal to each other. My 2 brothers are both younger than I am by 7 and 5 1/2 years. The oldest of those 2 and I really hated each other as children and fought constantly. Now that we are adults, we get along well because I love him and accept him for who he is and he does the same for me. It took alot of changing on both our parts to get to this point in our lives. My youngest brother and I have always been very close and still are. I basically raised him until I went to college and the running joke in our family is that he is my baby. His lifestyle is very differetn from mine, but now that he and his fiancee are expecting a baby, I think he will calm down a bit.