MIL Invited Herself To Our Home!

SusieJD · 05-13-2004, 11:26 AM

I'm shaking in my boots right now! DH called his mother for Mother's Day and she more or less invited herself to our home!

Up front here - I do not like her or his sisters! Here are my reasons:

When we lived in MI, they would come to our home and critize either me or DH or both! "When are you going to get out and get a job?" she asked me once! Even though I had my own computer business and making more money then DH. Another time she and the step-father critized DH because "Your not trying hard enough to get more business!"

When DH was a child, his father would beat him. Mom just stood there and watched, didn't do anything to intervine.

DH's step-father died last winter, didn't care very much for him either. But it didn't take too long for mom to get back up on her feet and start dating again! She left her MI family and went to Florida to be with her "Group" down there. Left at Christmas time and didn't spend it with her daughters or their children.

DH's sisters called and invited just DH there for Christmas, I was not invited.

UGH! This woman is not allowed in our home! DH said that he's not holding his breath. I told him under no curcumstance am I going to spend any of my time with her and if she does come here, I'm going to MI to visit my family and he can "babysit" her.

I've told DH that I had to put up with abuse as a child, now that I'm an adult, I refuse to put up with any abuse from her!

UGH Again!

Susie in MN

Dixie · 05-13-2004, 11:40 AM

{{{hugs}}} is she coming for a visit or (gulp) permanently?

KKCondrey · 05-13-2004, 11:47 AM

I'm so sorry Susie. I don't blame you either for not wanting her there. And as for your DH sis not inviting you to come down for Christmas that's just wrong. (I hope he didn't get her anything). I wouldn't have much use for that type of family either. Maybe she won't come, or maybe if she does she will feel so uncomfortable and unwelcomed that she will leave very quickly.

SusieJD · 05-13-2004, 11:52 AM

I'll certainly not be here if she comes! I'll be in Michigan!

Oh, I'd have to really put the old foot down on her living here! I told DH once that two women (especailly a critical one) could never live in the same house.

UGH!

I didn't mention our wedding - after the wedding reciption was over - MIL (without asking me or my sisters) started loading up on the leftover food and took several of my center pieces, which my sister made!

Neither her or SIL's offered any help what so ever in helping with the wedding. UGH!

The only time we hear from his sisters are if they have something they or their children want to want to sell us.

Susie in MN

Katybird · 05-13-2004, 12:19 PM

Oh Susie, I am so sorry that you have MIL from hell. You should not have to leave your home because of her. I would just call and tell her that you and DH both have plans during the time that she wants to visit and that it is not going to an acceptable time to visit. I would try to subtly make sure that she knows that anytime she wants to visit you will both be busy, maybe saying something like, "you know both DH and I have really busy lives and I am sure that maybe you and DH can visit at (insert any OTHER family members name here) house the next time you are there" let her know that she will not be coming to your house to stay. If she shows you no respect, you owe her no hospitality.

duckduckgoose007 · 05-13-2004, 12:22 PM

Susie...Get your car gassed up ... or buy a plane ticket to Mi. now!

I would not put up with the likes of those people.

paelthom · 05-13-2004, 12:27 PM

Susie,
Sounds like the true MIL from H*ll. Lock the doors, windows and let the dogs loose. It's your home! and you should never have to tolerate unwanted guests! If she did come, I'd make sure her visit was miserable in every way!

SusieJD · 05-13-2004, 12:32 PM

DH was pretty upset about his sister's invitation for him and not me, in fact he brought it up several times, "I'm pretty $#$% that she did that!

DH is behind me on this. He says that when we moved from MI, it was the best thing that happened to his relationship with his mother.

Also, if DH takes time off the road to stay with her here, he'll loose a week or more driving time. Which puts him further in the hole.

Susie in MN

lucy979 · 05-13-2004, 01:01 PM

Oh Susie! I hope she decides not to come!

SusieJD · 05-13-2004, 01:20 PM

I always said before I marrie DH that I wanted to marry an orphan! And this is why.

We spent several Christmas eves at the homes of these people. I ended up sitting by myself while they all got together and talked about themselves. Every time I tried to join in, they would talk around me. After the last time, I told DH that they were never going to spoil another Christmas eve for me! He could go, but I would stay home.

I'm so differant than these people. They are very much "socialites" and are very "status" orienated. They're always trying to out do each other with bigger homes, new cruise boats and "who's got the newest car". They are just not my type of people.

Thanks for all the support everyone! I don't know what I'd do without all of you! I don't have anyone here to talk to about this and I'm sure that my sister would agree (she knows what MIL has put me throgh), but she has problems of her own right now.

Susie in MN

guest2 · 05-13-2004, 03:12 PM

Susie

I'm so sorry that both you and your husband have had to put up with such a rude woman and her daughters. It sounds to me like you DH needs to let his mother know that her intended visit is not going to work for both of you. He needs to take a stand for his family (you and him) and not let this woman inflict any more hurt or harm on either of you. I'm praying for you Susie!!!

writtenonmybody · 05-13-2004, 06:09 PM

Huge hugs!

captclearance · 05-13-2004, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Katybird
Oh Susie, I am so sorry that you have MIL from hell. You should not have to leave your home because of her. I would just call and tell her that you and DH both have plans during the time that she wants to visit and that it is not going to an acceptable time to visit. I would try to subtly make sure that she knows that anytime she wants to visit you will both be busy, maybe saying something like, "you know both DH and I have really busy lives and I am sure that maybe you and DH can visit at (insert any OTHER family members name here) house the next time you are there" let her know that she will not be coming to your house to stay. If she shows you no respect, you owe her no hospitality.

I Agree !!!!!!!!!! Well said Kathy !!!!!!

forestdale · 05-13-2004, 07:06 PM

I totally agree with Katybird. This is YOUR home and it is up to you who is invited to stay at your home. Don't just let this happen to you - TAKE CONTROL. Next time she phones, tell her her visit is not convenient and you will let her know when it is, and don't worry what she thinks. This woman deserves all she gets and is not deserving of the respect that you would normally give your MIL.

Julia Kimber · 05-14-2004, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by forestdale
I totally agree with Katybird. This is YOUR home and it is up to you who is invited to stay at your home. Don't just let this happen to you - TAKE CONTROL. Next time she phones, tell her her visit is not convenient and you will let her know when it is, and don't worry what she thinks. This woman deserves all she gets and is not deserving of the respect that you would normally give your MIL.

I totally agree!
Julia